Jan

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About Jan

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  1. Same old story

    wow. Thanks for writing me. You will be in my prayers. I am proud of you. -Jan
  2. Wow I don't have a clue how you were able to be motivated enough to even think about joining a workout program like that after quitting Adderall. I am lucky if I care enough to take a shower when I am taking a break from it! I used to workout every morning for many many years but everything has changed since then (now 13ish years later)! I gained over 100 lbs during a handful of months without it and even after getting back on it, i just keep growing bigger. I hope I can find the drive to get to the place where you are at someday! You must be SOOOO proud of yourself!
  3. Hi. I cant sleep and I just stumbled on this site. I have never chatted about this before but maybe I need to. I am a mother of three great kids in a very "perfect people and judgmental upper class area". The first time I tried adderall, a friend convinced me to and I decided to try it for the energy and potential happy feeling I was told I should get. That was with only 5 mg and boy did it work!. Its been 13.5 years since that day and (with a few different short and longer term breaks) I have been using it, abusing it at times, wishing for it, waiting for my next script of it, dreaming about it, panicking about it, and learning to live with the way I am now. In all honesty, I've also had some amazingly happy times from it! I had many years of being stunningly fit, happy, and attractive because of it and I am glad I got to know what it feels like to look amazing in a bikini especially while being a well known supermom and wife by everyone in town. Those days are over now though. I still take it somewhat regularly but now I am divorced, secluded from the public for the most part by choice, and worst of all.... I am huge! I gained over one hundred pounds in a few months over a year ago and this is just what i am now.
  4. Same old story

    hi hyper critical. I feel ya girl! you cant change the past but you are recognizing the patterns and even thinking up some strategies for going forward. I hate that feeling when you really blow it but you here talking about it and in a way that means you are taking ownership for using it again. That is a pretty great starting point in my opinion!
  5. Same old story

    I suppose what I am hoping to find from this site is the motivation to admit the whole truth regarding my experiences and history with adderall (which will shock the socks off of most readers here I bet)! Ultimately, I hope to someday choose to do something to change and learn how to live as a normal sober person. wow, I sound pretty pitiful! Please feel free to reach out if you want to.
  6. Same old story

    Hi. I cant sleep and I just stumbled on this site. I am a mother of three great kids in a very "perfect people and judgmental upper class area". The first time I tried it, I did so for the energy and potential happy feeling i was told I should get. That was with only 5 mg in me and boy did it work!. Its been 13.5 years since that day and (with a few different short and longer term breaks) I have been using it, abusing it at times, wishing for it, waiting for my next script of it, dreaming about it, panicking about it, and learning to live with the way i am now. In all honesty, I've also had some amazingly happy times from it! I had many years of being stunningly fit, happy, and attractive because of it and I am glad I got to know what it feels like to look amazing in a bikini especially while being a well known supermom and wife by everyone in town. Those days are over now though. I still take it somewhat regularly but now I am divorced, secluded from the public for the most part by choice, and worst of all.... I am huge! I gained over one hundred pounds in a few months over a year ago and this is just what i am now.