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About EricP

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  1. Early Warning Signs

    @SeanW" bored and overwhelmed at the same time " I totally relate to this!! Definitely many of times I feel like I need to be doing something so I can't relax but then feel overwhelmed and don't even know where to start in anything that I actually think of to do! I think it is still good old "anxiety" of sorts... Also relate to the drinking... I feel half way normal after a couple drinks and it's hard not to want to drink when it takes that edge off... I think alcohol not only relaxes the anxiety but also gives us a little dopamine which we all crave... I am really trying not to drink as when I do I usually drink too much. Just a social cocktail or glass of wine once in awhile is my goal.
  2. Slow digestive issues

    I had the same problem for the first few months, I even went to a Gastroenterologist. After their workup they basically told me to eat more fiber and take MiraLax. MiraLax is different than most laxatives in that it basically just helps get more water into your digestive system. It is very safe even pediatric doctors prescribe for infants. They said I could even take twice a day which is over the dosing on the bottle. It wont make you "blow out" or anything awkward, its more of a thing that will help after a couple days of using and will get more regular then cut back over time...
  3. Early Warning Signs

    @Socially awkward I was on it for a couple years years ago. I quit that time slowly and now that I reflect back I can see why many aspects of my life fell apart after stopping that time. I had a lot of depression back then and never tied it to quitting. My docs just convinced me it was anxiety and depression and that I should be back on Adderall. That round things did get better with time but I eventually went back for another 1.5yrs... My earliest of warning symptoms this time that got me to stop were mainly that it just quit working for me. I was getting super tired within a couple hours of a dose, my personally was gone, angry a lot and was drinking at the end of every day to cope. Also weird physical symptoms which some have gone away and some haven’t. @SeanW Good to hear from you. Sorry to hear your in the same boat! However reassuring that I am not alone.. I always have been here lurking a bit but also took some breaks also from my phone in general for awhile as I was getting consumed. Have been trying to get more focused on moving forward in life and getting shit done that has been neglected for many months. I have been doing better with respect to that but honestly feel like shit most days. Each day is a different battle but I can say I am at least functional. Energy is low and cognitively just space/forget a lot of things. Keys always misplaced or just takes me 2-3 trips to the car to actually get everything I need to leave each day. Administrative tasks are my worst enemy however hands on work I can at least get motivated to get done now. Still get odd headaches and sometimes weird numbness in my face. Doc says anxiety or the headaches can cause that. Really nothing docs can do to help this process... Eat good, avoid alcohol, workout and keep busy are my top goals however I cannot say I am great at sticking to my goals just yet. Looking forward to working on my goals more passionately and thru the next year+ to hopefully feel better! - What are your biggest struggles @ 20mo?
  4. Early Warning Signs

    How long have you been off Adderall? I am over a year and still struggle finding joy in things...
  5. 9 Months. Help!

    All of what you are feeling is normal. I am slowly inching to 2 years next May. At 1yr I was still a mess, I am starting to feel subtle progress now which is reassuring... And exercising consistently does help!
  6. Great post and thanks for the info. I too have found this issue among my adderall days and since quitting. I quit drinking for about 6mo at one point... I don’t drink daily however when I do find the occasional excuse to start it seems stopping is an issue. There is a small window of feeling a bit of euphoria or almost normal when drinking that doesn’t seem to come until well over the normal 2-3 drinks most people have which quickly turns into stumbling and slurring about with regrets the next day. I’ve been working hard to find a ways to stop and may have to give this a try. Also seems even 1yr+ post adderall has raised the “buzz” tolerance much higher when drinking for me. I don’t think the drinking did this as I don’t drink frequently and it also seems it has made finding a natural high without any substance almost non existent for me which is basically depressing. I’m still fighting and working to find natural joys in life. Alcohol is certainly not beneficial to this process.
  7. I agree, I have stopped social media in past months as well... I really find little interest in it. Another part of this healing process is I find it increasingly more stressful to “keep up the pace” and “produce” as I used to even pre adderall... Thus when I get home I find my mind is still busy spinning a bit and it’s difficult to be “present”. Being present in the moment is something I am working on and hopefully I can find a way to reduce my load and still pay the bills...
  8. Fluidity of writing/speaking?

    Absolutely, I feel I can write better than speak actually as I can write at my own pace, read and edit however still don’t feel as creative. Speaking I find myself tounge twisted at times as well as having that perfect word for a scenario and loosing it then substituting it for something more common...
  9. I really feel like so much of this has to do with whatever adderall does to our reward system. Passing my 1yr by a couple months now I do find the energy and drive to get some stuff “done” and my depression is much much less than before however it all feels pretty “flat” to me. Finding joy is difficult and I get very little self reward out of just about anything. I have built up my confidence and am finally “functional” which I am so grateful for when I think back to how many hours I sat waisting away on my couch... Now no mater what “physical” side effects I have left I truly hope and pray I get my “joy” back... I see it everywhere and have great people surrounding me yet it is such a lonely place to just not “feel it” like normal people do... This for me and perhaps any of you that can relate explains the “slump”....
  10. Long-term quitters: Any lingering issues?

    I don't want to be depressing however this is pretty factual... I have done a lot of reading and if you look into dopamine loss after amphetamine use you will find that adderall use as an amphetamine (same thing) is neurotoxic and does cause dopamine cell loss... In fact in DAT scans it is common that they find a 30-50% reduction in dopamine uptake in post amphetamine users, thus is even documented to also not appear to improve in scans even after a year of quitting. Adderall floods the dopamine system and besides being toxic, dopamine receptors begin to shut down because there is so much dopamine they basically have no purpose as there is more than enough dopamine present with the adderall being consumed. However there is an many that say some of these cells come back into action after ceasing the medication as the brain struggles to function on this new low... In the end I would say we are all worse off than in our pre adderall initial adhd days due to the fact these cells have been over taxed and some depleted... I do believe the brain adjusts to the new lower level over time as well as some cells rejuvenate themselves.. In the end these stimulants are bad. Actually the more you avoid all stimulants even holding the 2nd and 3rd cup of coffee as these stims are just temporally giving relief and again inhibiting the balancing process. I 100% believe that adderall use over a lifetime is not sustainable and will basically cause an early onset of drug induced Parkinsonism. I do feel cognitive balancing occurring after my 1yr milestone... However I still struggle daily. My main issues besides low energy and some sleep issues, I find small things can trigger almost instant depression or frustration... Also balancing sleep is very important, I did a sleep study that showed some sleep apnea and that was waling me up. I have not adjusted to the CPAP I got however if I sleep on my side it reduced this a lot. Use a sleep aid if needed, we are all trying to be drug free here however if your not sleeping well recovery is almost impossible...
  11. Vision Changes

    I don’t get much double vision however definetly blury. Sometimes eye drops help, glasses help also but it’s weird how in the morning I almost don’t need them and afternoons it’s a must. i have read both Adderall and Ritalin can cause these symptoms however most say it goes away when quitting... For me it got worse after...
  12. Vision Changes

    After quitting Adderall and thru the past year I have had some pretty rapid eye sight changes. Also notice it’s much worse in the afternoon or evening of a tiring day. Just wondering if anyone has experienced this? I’ve got my first readers so I guess I am in the getting old category, haha... I just expected the need for glasses to come on slower and this seems a little related to stoping Addy.
  13. Sure is quiet these days.

    Yeah the FB thing is a little weird. I was on a couple then discontinued. I would get actually “friend requests” from people that had just read my posts and I hadn’t even exchanged any dialog with... As a general rule I don’t friend anyone on FB I have not met in person and invite as a guest in my home.
  14. Sure is quiet these days.

    I notice the same thing Frank. I still struggle after a little over 1yr+ however not enough to post and complain about regularly. I look for posts to help people when I can however there are fewer lately as well as most are replied to faster than my random lurking. Maybe some of it is just the season. Everyone is busy enjoying their summer; once school, winter and a less fulfilling season comes we will have some new quitters...
  15. TWO YEARS :)

    For me was very rough... It’s still is not easy however you have to just power thru it one day at a time and the less your mind wanders the better...