DrewK15

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About DrewK15

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  1. 2yrs

    Good work and congrats on your sobriety @m34! Thanks for sharing your experience on here. Things do get better. I’m at almost 3 years and life has improved for me as well. I’m holding down a job, have money in the bank, and am getting married in 6 months. It makes sense that things would get better in the long term after quitting, but first they usually get worse. Anyone who is in the rut, keep going. I lost my job, lost my friends, went bankrupt, gained a bunch of weight, and lost who I was right after quitting before things started turning around. It usually gets worse before it gets better, so keep on going. It’s worth it.
  2. @LuLamb at 15 months clean, I found myself depressed, unemployed, sitting in bankruptcy court. Now I’m at close to 3 years clean and it feels like a distant memory. Your feelings are so real, but you’ll get through them if you keep going. Yeah, there are consequences, but there is also so much hope. I stunted my personal growth and life with my addiction. We all do to some extent. The first couple of years of sobriety were pretty rough. In year 3 so far, I got a job, and this summer I am getting married and moving out of my parents’ place. I don’t really care how long it took at this point, I’m just glad I did it. There is hope in post-Adderall life no matter how long it takes to get there. Going back is hopeless. It’s very difficult at times, but a simple choice to make.
  3. I’ve been there. My recommendation for you is to seek out an AA, NA, CR, etc. fellowship. Millions have done it and gotten help from even worse situations than you are in. Don’t worry about steps or anything; you just need to connect with some people. You’re not alone, COVID is isolating people and harming a lot of people’s mental health. One day at a time friend, focus on getting clean and you’ll get to through it.
  4. @speedracer if life is improving, why potentially mess it up by adding alcohol back into the mix? Only you can decide whether or not alcohol is a problem, I don’t know your past but if it was a problem before it most likely will be again. That said I know how it goes, when things are improving the temptation to make things even better comes in. For me alcohol=brain fog/hangover=greater desire for Adderall. It isn’t worth it for me, I haven’t had a drink since I quit Addy.
  5. @speedracer I deleted all of my social media accounts right after I got into recovery due to struggles with comparison. I would get downright depressed watching all of my friends travel, get married and start their families while I recovered from my life wreckage. Plus is so addictive. I don’t have a source on this statement, but I’ve heard it said some of the same minds that design slot machines consult with Silicon Valley to make social media more addictive. I’m confident saying social media is making your ADD tendencies in the rest of your life worse. I don’t watch the news. I maybe veer towards keeping my head in the sand too much, but I am fully aware of the important issues in our society without constantly filling my mind with it. Politics is like the new religion of the 21st century and I am not interested in it. I think it’s important to have a basic understanding of what is going on in the world, but at some point I think you just have to shrug and concede it’s out of your control. I’ll perform my civic duty and vote based on a couple issues that matter to me and then move on with my life. I don’t feel much stress from what’s going on in the world I think in part from the attitudes I take and my habit of unplugging from it all. Take a couple weeks off from social media and news, focus on your wife, and I think you’ll be able to answer your last question for yourself.
  6. Got Engaged Last Monday

    @SleepyStupid I thought I’d create a separate post for this topic, thank you for the congratulations! I got engaged last Monday to an amazing girl and am so stoked. This is yet another awesome milestone in my recovery and I wanted to share it with you all. I also wanted to link a post I made about feeling lonely a little over a year and a half ago, what’s crazy is I made this post only 3 days before I started dating my now fiancée. I’m so glad I documented my feelings and experience to look back on: Keep fighting the fight for sobriety everyone. I’m coming up on 2 1/2 years sober next month and things continue to look up. It’s been the hardest 2 1/2 years of my life, but I’d have it no other way.
  7. One Word Status Update

    @SleepyStupid. Yep, I GOT engaged!
  8. Need support

    @purplepen I gambled away $40k+ on online sports books in my addiction from 22-25 y.o., I think it’s a pretty common problem. I would research my bets all day, place them around 4pm and then lay in my walk in closet smoking weed in the evenings while I watched my bets play out. I considered killing myself once the debt buried me. I filed for bankruptcy while unemployed with $75k in CC debt last year and am in the process of rebuilding my credit. I am so so much more responsible with money than I ever was before and on Addy, there is hope on the other side. It’s hard to get sober and face the consequences, but you need to do it to find freedom.
  9. Alcohol

    I quit Adderall and Alcohol at the same time. May 6, 2018. I absolutely think it’s sped up my healing process. In my mind they are connected. I would have a hard time taking Adderall without drinking and visa versa. I know some here have been able to smoke and drink post Addy, but I am not one of them. I am thankful and happy with my decision to live 100% sober.
  10. Wellburtin feels like adderall?

    Trusting doctors when it comes to psych meds is a tricky topic for me. I personally agree with both @sweetupbaaby and @EricP to an extent. I agree it’s good to keep an open mind when it comes to trying another med for depression, but only after you give yourself some time to see if it will clear up naturally. SSRIs make me crazy and suicidal, but a mild mood stabilizer helped me break through my depression. It’s complicated, and frankly really hard to predict how you will react to a drug before you try it, even for a psychiatrist. To Eric’s point, in some ways I do believe we know more than doctors about Adderall, especially non-psychiatrists. When it comes to Alcoholism, AA is widely accepted as a better place for the alcoholic than a doctors office, I don’t think being an Adderallic is entirely different. Some long term users here have spent hundreds of hours of research on this one topic and experienced years of firsthand use/abuse and recovery. The challenge I see for doctors is that they gather most of their information about these drugs from anecdotal patient experiences. For something like an SSRI, anecdotes might be reliable, but in my opinion anecdotes are extremely unreliable when it comes to drugs of abuse. There are quite a few twenty-somethings in my life at various stages of Adderall use. They think and want to believe it’s working although it’s obvious to everyone around them that they are spiraling slowly into isolation and erratic behavior. Their doctors think they are doing great because they are telling their doctor they are doing great. I used to shave and dress nice when I’d go in for my Addy refills to make it look like I was doing good. In large part psych meds are about how we feel, if something feels good, it’s easy to think it’s working and tell your doctor it is. Adderall feels really good. If doctors actually followed their patients around all day I think some of them would be surprised at what the drugs they prescribe are actually doing. All that said, I’m just another guy on the internet.
  11. A very quick relapse. What am I in for?

    @slowdown123 if you only took it for 2 days that’s not really going to set you back on a brain chemistry level. Psychologically it could be hard. You have what the drugs feel like fresh in your memory again. Don’t use again and you’ll be ok, not much harm at all. But that’s the catch, you’ve made it a little bit harder on yourself now. Stick with it!
  12. Day 1 of Tapering - Nervous/excited?

    @Sydney getting enough sleep is so important for the fatigue. B vitamins help with energy. Drink some coffee. Get some exercise. Just simply hang out as much as you possibly can early on and don’t feel ashamed about it. You’re going to do great. You have the understanding and support you need and we are all here to help as well. Stick to your plan and keep your head up and you’ll get through this.
  13. 2 Months of Quitting Cold Turkey

    Hi @TexasGal929, welcome to the forums! You’re not being overly dramatic, you’re doing something really hard by choosing to quit and 60 days is no small accomplishment! Keep on going! It sounds like you’re doing pretty awesome actually, I think the best thing you can do is control your inner critic and ride this out. If all you gain is 9 lbs and lose it in a year or two, quitting is worth it. If you’re still working out for 25-30 minutes a day early in recovery, that’s a win, not a loss because you aren’t going 60 minutes yet. Your energy will come back to it’s pre Adderall levels in time. As far as supplements, I take a lot of B Vitamins and Fish Oil every morning but that’s it. Nothing fancy. Keep trying to eat well and exercise. Sleep as much as your body needs, you’ll heal. I wasn’t familiar with Mydayis so I googled it, it’s a new med that came out since I quit a couple years ago. The marketing is ridiculous and gross to me. It’s such a blatant message towards women that you need to be all things to all people. That’s not true. It’s not worth it. And it makes me sad that another generation of people turning to their doctor for help will be sucked in by the lie they need to drug themselves into 24/7 productivity to be valuable. Good luck with your recovery, it’s worth it.
  14. Just exhausted.

    Hi @sweetupbaaby. I’m 3 months into a new job after 2+ years of full time recovery. I can relate to some of what you’re going through, it’s tough to work without Adderall at first after relying on it to get stuff done. In other ways I can’t relate because I had the luxury of taking time to get well, I want to be honest with you about that. Here are a couple things to think about that have helped me. Is anyone (bosses most importantly) negatively criticizing your work? I have found I am my own worst critic. Us Adderall people can be like that. I often feel like I’m doing terrible when none of my supervisors have an issue with my work and have actually told me I’m doing a great job. You’ll get more confident in time. I was terrified of not being good enough or having enough energy when I first started. A few months in I am way more confident and have done things without Adderall that I never thought were possible. There have been a couple projects I worked on where I went into a flow state and it felt incredible. This process is like working out. You start light and over time you lift more and more until you can lift far more than you could when you started. There is hope of being more energetic, confident, and sharp than you are capable of today.