DrewK15

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About DrewK15

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  1. First things first @BK99, I’m sure you’ll feel better when you get over the pneumonia. I think around 100 days is a good time to start pushing yourself a little bit. Just do a little bit more than you did the day before. Feeling like you are ‘functional’ happens slowly one step at a time. Take some deep breaths. Adderall trains our minds to do and expect everything right now. You should feel less rushed the further along you get into recovery. At 10 months I’m just now interviewing for jobs again. Even though it took a while, I don’t feel like it took too long. I’m just glad to be at this point. If you stick with it I’m sure you’ll feel the same someday.
  2. @LiberatedMind I’m going through something similar right now. I was on a pretty good streak and then I got hit hard by a wave of depression and cravings. (I’m at 9 1/2 months). Having thoughts about using just seems to happen sometimes, what you do with them is on you. Stay away from people and places that will tempt you while you are weak. Do some soul searching and figure out why you want to use right now. There is no dysfunction drug addiction won’t make worse.
  3. I gained 30lbs in 2-3 months post quit and have lost 10lbs of it since then. I also quit nicotine so that might be why I put so much on. Just this week I’ve been struggling with the weight issue myself. I’ve made many good changes to my diet and exercise but I’ve been stuck at the same weight for 3-4 months. It’s easy to start thinking “I’ll never get this weight off...”. I hate seeing pictures of my thin, athletic looking self and it sucks not being able to wear most of my nice clothes. I’m sure weight gain has ended many people’s attempts to quit Adderall. It’s a dangerous psychological trap. Even 9 months clean, Adderall sometimes pops into my head as a solution to my weight problem and I have to squash the idea.
  4. @BK99 I know how you feel, the nostalgia is real and it hurts. It’s so easy to remember the euphoria and forget the pain. Keep up the good work, you’re doing great. @Socially awkward I’m excited that you have a good opportunity to quit coming up. You can do it! Stick around here and let us know how it’s going when you get started.
  5. @sleepystupid he has another video on meth vs. Adderall that goes into more detail, it’s really interesting. I’ve done a lot of research into the topic out of curiosity. Although the high may be similar, route of administration, cost, dosage and effectiveness of re-dosage make meth so much more dangerous. Street meth dosages are huge and cheap. Imagine smoking (immediate onset high) 150-200mg of Adderall for $5 your first time, and being able to peak again and again with another $5 hit. I can see how that gets out of hand so quickly. I really feel for meth addicts knowing how hard it is to kick Adderall.
  6. Hey guys. I think this video hits on some great points and wanted to share it with you all. The creator is an ex-meth addict with over 5 years of sobriety, if you like it he has others regarding Adderall that are great as well. Check it out. https://youtu.be/4b1WDNxj6_M
  7. Adderall Taper Advice

    Hi @Onedayatatime, welcome to the forums. Quitting Adderall is difficult and uncomfortable regardless of taper, congrats on the progress you have made. Slowing down your taper might help you with discomfort, but at some point you’re going to face lethargy and depression. It’s a part of this recovery for most of us. Why are you quitting? Were you doing well at 30mg/day? Why is your doctor no help? If tapering, it is essential to have your psychiatrist on board with your wishes to get off of Adderall. It’s sad that the psychiatrist/patient relationship so often gets in the way of our recoveries.
  8. Glad to hear you are sticking with it after having thoughts of finding a new psychiatrist. Keep up the good work, better days are ahead of you!
  9. Mid-century ADHD

    I think a lot of this comes down to people feeling great pressure to fit into a cultural mold. We assign value to people based on their academic/professional achievement, production, etc.. Often the message is Type A (competitive, goal-oriented) = good, Type B (easygoing, creative) = bad. Adderall can turn a Type B into a Type A, thus the allure. This is a generalization as people are more complex than a 2 category system, but the concept holds true. Many of us end up far from our natural persona, or ‘true self’ trying to fit a mold that isn’t for us. Much of my recovery has felt like a letting go of who I thought I was supposed to be, and discovery of who I was meant to be. The traits that make up ‘ADD’ certainly exist, but I don’t agree with it being called a ‘disorder’ except in extreme cases. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and have the power to work on them. There are a lot of great posts on this site about managing life with ADD. Let me know if you need help finding them.
  10. 9 Months

    Hi all. Today marks 9 months of continuous sobriety from amphetamines and alcohol for me. I am blessed to have made it this far and reaching milestones feels great. Thank you all for your contributions to this site, it has been instrumental in my recovery. To those who are new or early on in recovery, I used for 4 years. Near the end of my addiction I would binge upwards of 100mg/day for a week at a time and drink probably 12 units of alcohol a day. It was dark. Physically I feel like I have made a full recovery. My energy levels are close to normal, bloodwork is normal, blood pressure/heart rate are good. I had headaches for probably the first 6 months that have gone away. I exercise 6 days/week and sleep well. Best of all I’m not hungover and/or in physical pain all of the time. Psychologically and emotionally I feel better, but I still have a long way to go. My mental clarity and cognitive abilities are back, but depression and anxiety are still a big factor in my life. I struggle with feeling like nothing really matters, generalized disinterest, hopelessness, and naturally, low motivation. I’m currently re-evaluating my career and working on re-entering the workforce and it’s tough. I’ve put a lot of effort into different things, but none of them seem interesting at all anymore. Starting at the bottom is really hard. Most importantly I now view Adderall as an escape rather than a solution, and it’s not a road I’m willing to take right now.
  11. DAY 3 - When Does it Get Better?

    Hi there @flywithme, welcome to the forums! It’s totally normal to be feeling lethargic and unmotivated right after quitting this drug. I’m sure you already know that from the breaks you were taking between prescriptions. The way you feel gets better with time, and energy does return. It’s just a different journey and timeline for everyone. I also quit around the 4 year mark, it seems a lot of us have had enough around that point. Given your dose and duration of use it’s not going to be easy, but there are many on here who have used higher doses over a longer period of time and gone on to make awesome recoveries. It can be done. Usually there are some positives immediately after quitting. For me it was the opportunity to rest and relax after 4 years of running around like a crazy person. Embrace the positives and know the rest of your recovery will come with time. It sounds like you are set up for success since you associate Adderall with hate and things you don’t like about it. As far as adjusting other psych meds, I think it’s a good idea to wait a few months after quitting. That’s what I did and it worked well. Keep us posted on how you’re doing and good luck!
  12. @nic123 I used amphetamines for a total of 4 years. I mostly smoked flower. I don’t live in a legal state and was limited to whatever my dealer had at the moment. I didn’t mention nicotine and caffeine, but also used those heavily. Juul, Redbull, and Adderall was my ‘go’ cocktail. I was so messed up by the end of the day that I could rarely fall asleep unless I was drunk or stoned. It’s a vicious cycle and terrible way to live. I’m so glad to be free of that way of life.
  13. @nic123 I’ll do my best to answer some of these. I experienced most all of this in one way or another. I had tons of willpower, but absolutely no restraint. I was so impulsive. Adderall made me very efficient at messing up my finances. Some of this was due to my state of mind in general; I pretty much did what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, without regard for consequences. In the end I went bankrupt. Most commonly I mixed alcohol with Adderall. There also was a time when I smoked weed almost every day, but alcohol was more convenient and easier to hide. I consider myself to be an alcoholic and quit drinking as well. I became very serious about killing myself and almost did. That was my bottom and the point at which it was obvious my addictions were going to kill me if I didn’t stop. I decided I still wanted to live.
  14. Couch to 5k

    @sleepystupid getting a pair of running shoes would probably help out a lot. If there isn’t much arch support in the shoes you’re wearing that’s definitely going to cause some pain. Extensive stretching is the next best thing you can do to prevent injury. Before and after you run. Running is one of the things I gave up when I started on Adderall. I ran 5 marathons in the two years before Adderall. I had to stop running because my heart rate would get so high I felt like I was going to pass out. Now I’m doing 4-5 mile runs and cycling a few times a week and it feels great. Planning on running another marathon next winter. Thinking back to my ‘exercise’ right after I got on amphetamines is sad and funny at the same time. I’d go to the gym, walk for 5 minutes on the treadmill, do 20 push-ups, get a smoothie, mess around on my phone for 45 minutes, and then walk back out the front door feeling like a legend. After a few weeks I just stopped going. It feels good to actually be pushing myself again. @hyper_critical good luck with the half marathon. I found the gap between 10k and half marathon to be far easier than from couch to 10k. You’ll do awesome.
  15. About One Year Addy Free

    Congrats on 13 months free from Adderall @TLNJ2, that’s awesome. PAWS really started to ease up around 7 months for me. That’s when I started having more good days than bad. In my opinion the best thing you can do for PAWS is go completely sober for a while. Don’t think of it as something you need to do forever; it should really help you feel better right now. Doing other drugs and drinking introduces unnatural highs and lows that mess with your mood, energy, cognition, etc.. I don’t think any of us has to tell you coke is a bad idea, but I want to add something to think about. Alcohol + Cocaine = Cocaethyline. Cocaethyline can stop a healthy heart and is one of the leading causes of drug fatalities. It’s not worth it.