I also would like to add, about your time lost. I too lost all of my 20s being my authentic self because I was too cracked out being isolated and organizing and perfecting and basically being a robot exhibiting insane behavior (at the time, I thought I was getting stuff done and being my best self— that’s how delusional the drug makes you).
When i first quit, I was completely overwhelmed and devastated by the reality of what had happened. It felt like I had lived in a fog for the prior decade. I was completely heart broken at my life choice to remain on this drug for so long. For many, many months, I grieved all the time wasted, lost, friendships lost, good times not had, experiences not lived, trips not taken, challenges not met, the list goes on, and on, and on. Eventually, I let it go. But that took time.
You are feeling regret, and that is normal. Allow yourself those feelings. They feel sad, and uncomfortable. But they will eventually pass, and you will eventually forgive yourself as you start to heal, and you will eventually let it go when you are ready.