JumboJim

I feel you, Sean. I suffer from PTSD myself (amongst other things) and my life can be a total nightmare. I don’t know if killing yourself is the way to go, but I will say this: your posts on here have really helped and inspired me. And no doubt a lot of others too. That’s says a lot. Was your life always like this?

So sorry you're going through all this. Sounds like he has MAJOR mental problems and from your post it's obvious Adderall has only made things worse. Like Sean said, he just doesn't know it yet. I've read many stories on here about ruined relationships and lost friendships, and it's because Adderall can temporarily fill any void. I was on a pretty low dose myself yet still recognize this feeling of 'I don't need others, I have my Adderall'. In the end, life will inevitably catch up to him. Make sure you take care of yourself. Take those dogs on nice long walks and be sure to hang out with friends, do fun stuff. Keep the mind distracted. It's going to take time, but always look towards the future. You might not see it right now, but it's bright and filled with opportunity.

Yeah, I've always struggled. A lot of issues in school. Never did a page of homework until getting medicated. But that was in my mid teens and it's been over 10 years, so I'm not entirely sure what my baseline is supposed to be. I have more responsibilities these days which I didn't have as a kid so it's hard to say.

Thanks for the input all, much appreciated. I'm not sure what to do, but yeah, I also doubt it would work long-term. My brain just isn't made for the modern world. So if anyone know a nice jungle with a group of apes I could join let me know.

I've been off Adderall for about a year and a half now and I'm awfully close to getting back on it. A lot of things have improved for sure, mainly I feel more stable and more like 'myself', compared to the constant up and downs from Adderall. My fatigue has also lifted a great deal. But I'm also failing academically. I feel so understimulated, unexcited and my attention span is impaired for even low-effort things like videogames or Netflix. In the last year and a half I've watched maybe two shows. Even just writing this post requires quite some effort. It feels like since I quit my life has been on pause. I do all the basic stuff: daily exercise, eat healthy and sleep well. No drugs (no alcohol), max 1 cup of coffee (if even that) per day. I got off Adderall because of tolerance, after years of use it just didn't seem to do much for me anymore. I didn't want to raise my daily dosage above 30mg so I decided to take a tolerance break. It wasn't until this tolerance break that I realized how dependent I'd become, so I decided to take a year off and see how I'd feel. After one year off I was undecided, so I went a little longer, and here we are. Still don't know what to do. I just feel kinda fucked regardless of what I do, because I have severe ADHD at baseline. My question here is mainly aimed at the long-timers. What kind of improvements - if any - did you experience after being off for a year and a half? Should I stick this out for longer? Will I feel less fatigued, less bored with time?