nic123

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About nic123

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  1. Thank you for all of you who have shared your stories and chimed in on mine. It has helped me understand my situation and what my STBX husband is experiencing. Just wanted to ask some of questions that I am curious to learn more about from those who have experienced side effects. From what I read progressive stimulant use can leads to confusion. While you were using were you really confused about the decisions you made? Did you ever go back and forth if you made the right decision? Did you experience lack of willpower or lack of restraint? Did you do things very impulsively? If you had any, what were your obsessive thoughts? What was your paranoia? What gave you the most anxiety? Did you mix other drugs with your medication? I know people lose a lot of weight on Adderall, but at some point did you no longer lose weight but start gaining again? When did it become obvious to you the stimulant use was the source your problems?
  2. Is Adderall ruining my life??

    @joeshmo I was with my husband for 14 years married 4. Our fights were not good this last 1 1/2 of our marriage. When Adderall came into the picture, he was more confrontational and aggressive this last year. He claims his medicine helped him become more vocal about things and he was speaking up for himself in the relationship. There was zero accountability and if there was it was expressed through angry rants. Or admitted them, but did nothing to address them. He doesn’t seem to think spending $800 a month on pot wax, cigarettes and 5 hour energies was an issue in a marriage. He didn’t seem to think his addictions had zero impact on our marriage. There may also be a hereditary mental illness involved, but that is currently undiagnosed. His Adderall to him was a godsend. Super confidence, (super ego) weight loss and focus. But I saw what it was doing to him. He didn’t care because according to him too many pros outweighed the cons. I walked on eggshells.Started picking a choosing my battles because the rants were so exhausting and outrageous at times. Some of them literally made me question my own sanity because he would say off the wall things or things that were blatantly not true or completely incorrect. I dealt with almost daily morning rants and there was barley an interaction between us. He would ruin my mornings. He would say thing like finding someone else than have to deal with relationship issues. He turned into something else. Here is a link to my story if your interested. Its long and detailed. http://forum.quittingadderall.com/forums/topic/4301-did-husband-leave-marriage-because-of-his-adderall/#comment-31787 After he left a few weeks later he signed up on dating websites and posted some pretty shitty bios like no pets even though he absolute loved his dogs, he was already divorce when we were not even 2 months in and how he is looking to knock up somebody fertile. All while I was trying to save the marriage. Not sure why when you look at the situation paper or a computer screen, but I was. His empathy was gone. The person I knew was gone. But it seem to me his intellect was gone. He is destroying one of his greatest assets. I asked to him a few days ago after no phone conversation for about 5 months. I asked him how he was doing and if this really what he wanted. He said he wasn’t happy with his life, marriage or at work. He thought he would have a family by now. But he said he wasn’t really any happier after he left. I asked him if this is what he wanted and I didn’t get a yes or a no answer. However we are at the point of divorcing in the next few weeks. I don’t have high hopes for my story, but you may have time to save your marriage. You need to acknowledge and apologize if you want to save your marriage. Apologize to yourself as well. This can help stop the damage you are creating. It can be hard because I’m sure there are things that bother you that she does. But addiction is a big deal and very hard on a marriage. Adderall addiction is very brutal to a marriage. You do need to have accountability for your actions and your words. I think that helps with a sincere apology. Get off that life wrecker of a medication before it does more damage to your life and character, your too good for that pill. Everyone is too good for it. And anytime you think about that pill just remember what you have become due to ”all your solutions in a little pill”. I’m praying that you are able to recover yourself and your marriage.
  3. 8 Stages of Amphetamine Use/Abuse

    This is really good information not only users of Stimulants, but also their spouses and significant others as well.
  4. Is Adderall ruining my life??

    I agree with @oswhid . I would tell your wife about this website. I came here last month and posted my story. My husband completely changed in a year and a half on Adderall. Now we are in the middle of a divorce that I did not choose. He became very angry, short tempered, easily irritated, lashed out, isolated himself among other things. It's true, it's like the person you knew was hijacked. I am glad you are realizing what it is doing to you. I wished my husband did. Have her come to this site and read everyone's stories. Adderall effects not only the users, but those living with them too. From my perspective from reading all the stories on this site, it seems for the user, Adderall is a godsend and a life saver at the beginning, then in a way becomes a life taker. You can not function without it and it turns you into a completely different person; unhappy, unhealthy and angry.
  5. I was just curious for all those who have overcome their addiction. How long from the time you started Adderall until the time you realize Adderall was causing problems for you, until finally quitting?
  6. @dadof3finallyfree I ordered the book recommended from this post. I am currently dealing with the fallout of my marriage with my soon to be ex spouse on Adderall along with other additional addictions. @Yogichris your story has a lot of similarities as mine. Reading, researching, therapy and understanding what happened is truly what is helping me through my divorce.
  7. Sorry to hear all this. This drug can turn a person into somebody you don’t know;I’ve seen it firsthand. How long has your ex-wife been on Adderall? I came to this site a couple weeks ago looking for answers for my own marriage or the demise of my marriage I should say. A lot of people talk about a honeymoon period from this drug, so I was just curious on how long your exwife’s been using it?
  8. I have also experienced a similar situation in my marriage. My STBX husband changed once he got on Adderall but my ex also had other addiction issues and possible other mental health issues. Adderall was the one that completely changed him. I hope in the very near future this medication gets taken a lot more seriously.
  9. As I watch my marriage unfold due to my STBX husband's addictions, Adderall being the prime reason, I started sharing my story with others. I was so desperate to figure out how my marriage collapse within a year and a half of my husband getting on Adderall. I know Adderall was a big factor in the dramatic change in my husband. and I wanted to understand what the hell happened. I began sharing my story, and I have had quite a few people tell me that they were prescribed low doses of Adderall and they were not even diagnosed with ADD. The more I talked to people the more it appear to me these stimulants are getting passed out like candy. These are prescriptions that effect the brain and it seems anyone can get a prescription if using the right terms with doctors. There are websites to instruct a person to fake ADD by telling doctors specific symptoms so they can get prescribed these medications. I feel doctors are becoming very negligent with their prescriptions in this country and are too quick to whip out their prescription pad. With the recent crackdown on opiates in the country, I was wondering if there was such a thing as a stimulant epidemic, so began searching and I came across this article from April 2018. I'm sure there will be more articles to come. https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/news/20180403/experts-warn-of-emerging-stimulant-epidemic I hope this gets the same amount of attention soon as the opiates epidemic, because I feel this is much worse.
  10. Wife and Adderal

    Sorry to hear about what is going on with your wife. It sounds pretty bad. Sounds like the mixture of everything is not agreeing with her. I agree that Adderall is the devil drug. I watched this drug completely change my STBX husband; almost a compete 180. This drug robs them of who they are, and turns them into something almost unrecognizable. I hope finding this site will give you some answers into your wife's behavior. Reading everyone's stories here has helped me realized what this drug does to a person. I unfortunately found this site too late, but this site has really helped me in the healing process and understanding. Everyones stories are so similar. From what I read, at first everything is great and this drug is a life saver, but then it becomes, in a way, a life taker. It takes who they are. You had mentioned talking to her doctor, I think you really should. And if she mentions hurting herself again, you should call the police, I wished I did. Gather what ever you need to prove she has an issue, this way you can support your claim ( so know one thinks your crazy ) and she can't talk her way out of it. She may hate you for doing it until she is gets sober, but you maybe saving her life and your marriage and your children.
  11. Just curious if you’re stimulant use has affected any of your relationships with your family especially with your wife? Has she voiced any concerns about you or any changes?
  12. Thank for the response @Socially awkward. Adderall definitely did something to him. He has not been diagnosed with Bipolar; his mother and grandfather both has/had the disease and he is displaying Bipolar manic type behavior. Although I did read, Adderall addiction can mimic this behavior as well. I agree. I let his behavior slide. Anytime I would try to bring anything up serious or “Adult type conversations” he it would turn into a complaining rant. He complained I was always criticizing him, and that was never my intent. I wanted to communicate to him to start being a little more present in the house, and help more household responsibilities. He was procrastinating so much at the end. I feel I was doing everything and this can be very tiring in a marriage and he would just get high in the garage any chance he could. I notice things getting worse, but I was just so exhausted with dealing with him and backed off. After a while, I was picking and choosing my battles. All I did was try to help him. I was not trying to be codependent, but now realizing I was. I am a natural helper. If someone I know needs help, I want to help them. He has displayed violent type behavior; throwing things out of anger, which resulted in broken siding on my house, holes and dents in my walls. I remember one time very clearly at the beginning of the year, he was having one of his morning anxiety fits (it appears it could have been a withdraw period), and I thought to myself “I’m not going to get any help in the morning and how in the hell is he going to deal with a crying baby”. My therapist and I talk and she thinks I knew deep down the current situation in my marriage was a not good for a child. Yes, I knew this was the case and but sometimes the emotions makes it hard to realize it at times. Yes, you do not know if it is not him and his health reasons as to why it didn’t happen. He was definitely bully me in the rants; that is exactly what my therapist said. I go to therapy, reads some books and hang around family to pass the time. My life has been calm for almost 5 months now since he has been gone, but it still hurts losing someone you loved for so many years.
  13. I also read a story on this site from @JSS4321 from July 2017, which then compelled me to write my own. This portion of the post I could really relate to: http://forum.quittingadderall.com/forums/topic/3961-is-adderall-ruining-my-marriage/#comment-29379 Yes, I thought I was crazy too. My situation made me literally question myself, but I knew it had something to do with this medication. Everyone’s story on the site has helped me see what a user goes through; what he or she experiences when taking this drug. I had only wished I had found this site sooner. I may have still had a marriage. I experienced the same with my STBX starting projects that he did not finish. Making grand plans etc. I just read the post about the “8 Stages of Amphetamine Use/Abuse”; pretty certain my STBX is at stages 6 & 7. I notice stage 6 is the blaming of everyone and everything. http://forum.quittingadderall.com/forums/topic/879-8-stages-of-amphetamine-useabuse/#comment-4040 I wanted so much to help my STBX, but it is out of my hands now. I fought to save my marriage for almost 3 months, until he really threw it in the toilet. He walked away and chose a different path on what he believes . I lost my marriage and my best friend. I miss who he was so much, but that person I knew has been gone now for 2 years. I hope you can help your wife.
  14. Man does your story sound a lot like mine. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I just came to this site the other day and posted my story about how I feel I lost my Husband to adderall and possibly a mental illness. I understand the eggshells. I feel I had to pick and choose times to bring up anything, because I wasn't sure about his mood. He lacked sooo much empathy after Adderall. When he first started Adderall now two years ago, he immediately started insulating our garage and wanted to do so many projects that I knew were out of his league. I remember saying to myself, he thinks he could build the Panama canal himself. He had such Grandiosity. He would be easily irritated, anger, raging, he would slap himself tear shirts off himself and threaten to shoot himself. This was my life the last 1 year and a 1/2 . He had other addiction issues as well. We also did not go out much either anymore, usually just picked up something to eat. But then I got blamed in the end. I was blamed for everything. I am now in the process of a divorce ( his choice) and have no contact with him other than divorce matters. I hope you can help your wife recognize there is a problem and I hope she really listens to you because I have seen what this pill can do to a relationship, especially if it is abused.
  15. Thank you @SeanW and @JumboJimit is horrible to watch something take over a person you love and you cannot do anything to stop it. I am somebody who does not give up easily. But I tried to save my marriage, I put myself through hell to save US and now I'm just at another level of hell trying to get over US. He just went and FUBAR'd the marriage without a care. He wanted to go out in the world and date. I guess it was easier for him to walk away than to look at what he was doing. I have read a little bit about everyone's back story and I want to congratulate each and everyone of you who recognized their addiction and had the courage to face it and overcome it. I'm sure from what I have read, it has not been an easy road for any of you. But, you all deserve to be free of this addiction and in time you will be happy and healthy again.