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About BK99

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  1. Great post and great reminders. Thank you for sharing!
  2. Day 122 - Over one-third of a year I’ve been off amphetamines. Yippee!
  3. Day 118 - Spirits are back in the dumps today. I’m struggling with loneliness and depression this week. I know relationships suffered on Adderall, but I feel that I am having an almost worse time connecting with people and staying connected to them off of Adderall. I have become so self conscious of everything I do and say (probably thanks to the weight gain). I haven’t had a drink in a few weeks, but I’m really wanting one right now. AA is calling. Being an addict really sucks.
  4. Good thread starter. As an alcoholic, I can show up to any number of AA meetings and get the support I need. Adderall addiction is on the other end of the spectrum. These past four months have been lonely as hell. I think most of the NA meetings around here cater to opoid addicts. Stimulant addiction is barely talked about because the focus is all on opoids. The only real support I’ve found has been this forum.
  5. Feeling Lonely

    Hey Drew, You are so very young at 27! My friends are all far away with kids, so I don’t have many friends here either. Everyone is too busy. It would be nice to have more people to talk to. I will be your friend!
  6. Day 116 - My energy is low, but my spirits are high today. That is all.
  7. Day 115 - I went on a long hike yesterday and it felt good. Today I am back to feeling like crap. I don’t think I did so well at my interview this past Thursday. My brain fog was fierce and I froze up for some of the questions. I started romanticizing about how great interviews were when I had Adderall pumping through my system. I’d be nervous, but I would slam dunk all the questions. The scale keeps going up. I know people have said to just wait it out, but it’s tough seeing numbers on the scale that you have never seen in your lifetime. I like eating, but damn, Adderall really shot my metabolism. I hope it reverts itself at some point...
  8. Day 113 - No energy. I’m having a hard time with my runs this week. It’s probably mental because I’m so damn depressed. I have another interview today. I’m going in with no expectations because I feel like utter crap today..
  9. I tore my entire bathroom apart thinking there were cameras in the sockets (and everywhere else in the house). My husband came home and had to fix it all. I told him to never speak of it again...because days later, I knew that was a full blown psychotic episode.
  10. Thanks, Drew. I always appreciate your contributions to this thread. I think I can make it to 10 months! I think I can! I think I can! Why does 10 months seem so much better than one year?
  11. Mark, I needed this hopeful message today, so I thank you tremendously. I have another interview this week and I’m not feeling ready. I know I need a change of scenery when it comes to work, though. I’m scared that I’m going to have many triggers at this job because I used Adderall to better my work, not get high. I’ve just been getting a little tired of seeing posts from people that have been off Adderall for years and still feel like crap. I’m not looking for people to sugarcoat things, but seeing some of these posts has been a very, very tough pill to swallow. Thank you for the hope.
  12. Mark, When is the last time you took Adderall? I’m happy to hear you had a 3 day stretch of feeling normal. I just keep thinking about how long I’ve been off Adderall and it’s hardly any time at all! Time is moving so slowly...
  13. Jason, No worries. You are not hijacking. I’d be lying if I said staying thin wasn’t one of the greatest aspects of taking Adderall. I loved how effortless it was to stay thin on the drug. None of my clothes fit either. I love eating now and it sucks. I’ve put on 25+ pounds in the past year trying to quit Adderall. I’m only 5’1’’ so it’s embarrassing to present myself to people who haven’t seen me in awhile. I will continue busting my ass at the gym and try to make better food choices. Hopefully I will level off soon, and hopefully lose some weight. I’ll deal with the weight gain if it means getting past the hell I am in right now.
  14. Day 109 - I went to my interview the other day and I’m thinking I didn’t get the job. This is a relief because I don’t think I am anywhere close to being able to handle the demands of this kind of job yet. I like Sundays, because it’s always been a lazy sloth kind of day even when I was on Adderall. I usually didn’t take pills on Sunday.