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About JohnIreland

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  1. Wife and Adderal

    Hi everyone. I’m new here. I stumbled across this forum when searching for answers online about my wife’s issues with Adderal. Our marriage is practically over in my mind but we have 3 young kids together so I am really desperate to find answers. My wife has suffered with anxiety and depression for many years. When we met, she was on clonzepam for panic attack’s. Over the years, her psychiatrist has added more and more meds and now she is up to 5, including Adderal. As many of you can probably attest, I now refer to Adderal as “the devil”. My wife isn’t even a functioning adult at this point. She is a stay at home mom to our 3 kids, but she can’t even get out of the bed in the morning. I have to handle pretty much all of the household chores along with working a full time job. My 3 and 5 year old aren’t in school. They typically are not supervised while I’m at work and play together in my wife’s bedroom while she is comatose in bed. My wife is always “so sick”. She makes up emergencies all day long to try to get me to come home from work. She tells me the kids are vomiting, they have fevers, anything. I always show up at home and find everything to be fine, except my wife is passed out in bed. When she does get out of bed, she takes her meds and runs through the house stripping all of the beds and throwing the sheets in the basement. She washes all of the sheets and blankets in the house in HOT water every single day. She washes all of the laundry in hot water because she says the clothes and sheets are infected with germs. Our clothes are all faded and ruined. She always has made up ailments, skin rashes, etc. She picks at the skin on her face and arms until she is bleeding from the sores. My wife is always sick. She always has a migraine or the flu. I don’t think she’s gone a single day in the past year without being “SOOOO SICK”. She is 33 years old and takes ibuprophen 4 times per day. She also has this strange behavior where she throws everything in the garbage, no matter what it is. She has thrown away checks, gift cards, etc. I recently applied for a new passport and it never showed up. I called the passport office and they said it had been delivered the week prior. I knew she had likely thrown it away. I dug through the garbage and found it. She had taken the stack of mail out of the mailbox and thrown it directly into the garbage. The mail hadn’t even been unwrapped from the ads. A few days later and threw away a birthday card from my mom that had a gift card inside. Often I’ll find that small appliances are gone. I’ve lost so many crock pots, etc. She just tosses everything in the garbage in a blind “cleaning” rage. She also has crazy impulses with online shopping in the middle of the night. She will spend hundreds online in a single night. I finally added it all up and she had spent $10,000 on Amazon in 6 months. This completely depleated our savings and we were broke. I started falling behind on the mortgage and had to borrow money from my mom (Borrowing money from my mom when I make $130k per year). Finally I had to separate her from my finances to protect my home and my family. I transfer money to her account when she tells me she needs it. However, this has led to her making up reasons why she needs money almost everyday. She gets angry and blocks my phone number if I question her. She has turned into a complete compulsive liar. Over the summer, I would wake up in the middle of the night and she would be gone. She would be gone until 3, 4, or 5 AM. This happened several times per week. I eventually got a call from her sister telling me that some guy in our subdivision contacted her on Facebook. He had been having sex with my wife but he was tired of her showing up at his house in the middle of the night banging on his door. He also told her sister that my wife told him that I beat her up and abuse her, etc. He reached out because she was coming to his house incoherent and he didn’t want her showing up anymore. He said he was going to call the police on her. I kept this info to myself for a few weeks but it was really eating at me. After I confronted her, she admitted it and basically turned it around somehow to say it was my fault because I was so mean to her. She wasn’t even sorry!! The pharmacy allows her to fill her 30 day Adderal supply after 27 days and she never ever makes her supply last. She’s always angry at the pharmacy calling them idiots and saying they can’t count the days correctly. Each month, she goes through about 3 or 4 days of withdrawal. The first day she doesn’t get out of bed at all. She will spend 20 hours in bed. Day 2 is the worst. She will sleep most of the day but wake up angry and yelling. She will then start sobbing, morning, and saying she wants to die. Day 3 is like day 2 but a bit milder. On the day the prescription can be filled, I have to run out to the pharmacy first thing in the morning to get it. My wife is a complete hermit. She won’t go out in public and only showers about twice a week. She is a beautiful woman and completely turns heads when she is dressed nicely. However most of the time she looks like she’s homeless. This new pickup and delivery thing they do at stores has completely sent her into a tailspin. She won’t go into a store to get necessities. She orders it online for pickup and sits in the car waiting for it to be ready. We have needed urgent items for my son’s school day and she will leave the house to go to the store and sit in the parking lot and not be able to bring herself to walk inside. Her birthday was last Saturday so I took the kids out early in the morning to buy flowers, cake, balloons, etc. It just so happens my birthday was Sunday and she slept all day. My kids wanted to go buy presents for me but she wouldn’t go. My mom called me and talked to the kids about singing me happy birthday. It never happened. No cake, nothing. I’m not typically someone who worries too badly about something like birthday gifts but it’s just another indicator of how she treats me. Her family knows about these meds and they know she needs help. Occasionally they are in my corner but then she will tell them stories about how awful I am and turn them on me. Her mom won’t even come to the house anymore if I’m there. Of course they bury their heads in the sand when it comes to helping their own daughter. They’ve pretty much washed their hands of it I really don’t know what I can do besides go scorched earth on her: call and talk to her psychiatrist about what she’s doing, call the police the next time she threatens to kill her self. If it weren’t for my kids, I likely wouldn’t still be here with her. That may sound cruel but the woman I fell in love with has been gone for a long time. I’m trying to make it through the holidays and then will probably hire a lawyer in January. My main concern is the kids at this point. Thanks and I would appreciate your input.