Freespirit81

Hi everyone. I am new to the site and it has became a source of motivation for me. I am 31, a wife and mother of 2 energetic kids, a full time healthcare worker and lots more in between. I am on day 6 with no adderall. And yes,it was a very scary decision but my decision was fueled by a reason to be healthy, a reason to LIVE. One year of feeling dependent on the stimulation of the drug, the energy and weightloss made everything seem so easy. I never felt behind on projects...always on top of it, then the symptoms came. After a small drug holiday, gaining fifteen pounds, I was ready for my "easy button" again. When I began Adderall the second time it only took a year and then the dizziness, joint pain, fatigue,the fog, irritability and then the diagnosis.....Lupus. The doctor cannot and will not say that Adderall caused my Lupus but she did admit that stimulant medications can trigger auto-immune diseases. We are hoping that this is medicine induced Lupus and after qutting adderall, smoking ( which is impossible on Adderall) and beginning a new healthy lifestyle that my symptoms will virtually disappear...for good. So begins my journey. So....day 6 without my "easy button" and I feel amazing. Fatigue is here but less than before. I want a cigarette and little blue pill every morning but have traded for hot tea and sugar free gum. I can see without fog, colors are vibrant and I want to smile about the small stuff. I feel much more motivated. At the end of the day, did Adderall work for me? The first few months I felt indestructible and it felt so easy, but now being a young mother all I want to be is HEALTHY! The consequences that I have gained are way more overwheming (negatively) than what the drug helped me become. The things that I want accomplish like watching my kids grow up and growing old with my husband don't involve the life sucking drug called....Adderall.