
DelaneyJuliette
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Just wanted to drop in at 4pm in the afternoon rather than 4am in the morning and say that I really did it. After a year of telling myself I was going to quit I gave up all my adderall with no way to get more and I'm done. I just have to get through this period of time that sucks but I know I can do it. I just wanted to thank all of you for loving me through this ridiculous journey. As I said in another post, I am exhausted, keep bursting out randomly into tears, terrified, lonely, scared, anxious, worried, and... relieved. So I'm gonna focus on that last one.
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Yup, time to try something different. I quit cold turkey two days ago. I gave up all my adderall and no way to get more. It's scary, emotional, exhausting and also relieving. I will make it through this time.
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Why, exactly, does tapering "not work"?
DelaneyJuliette replied to tuneum's topic in General Discussion
Well I tapered successfully once, and then started again, and then realized i've been lying to myself for the past year that i was going to taper again and it was going to work this time b/c it worked before. So, i just stopped cold turkey 2 days ago. Gave up all my pills. So... it's day 2. I'm tired and emotional but ok. -
DelaneyJuliette started following Why, exactly, does tapering "not work"?
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DelaneyJuliette started following sage
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Let's talk!!
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DelaneyJuliette started following quit-once
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Day 1 of Tapering - Nervous/excited?
DelaneyJuliette replied to Sydney's topic in General Discussion
@sydney, how is it going? -
Sooo.... should we start a zoom one?
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So, if you go to the place where it talks about meet-ups in certain locations, I posted about zoom. There was a lot of interest, but nothing got started. Perhaps that would be a good place to post this? Did you ever end up having a meeting? I really want to join one. My desire is to find a regular day and time to just have a meeting and whomever wants to come can come. I wonder if we could make this work... I also wonder if we should do one with some structure.... or just talking?
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what?! me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Any other moms ABUSE adderall? - the guilt
DelaneyJuliette replied to sage's topic in General Discussion
So can we do it?! Let's make it happen!! PM me! -
I want to go through these questions. My pattern is that I have too many clients on one day so I use that day. Then I stay up too late and then use the next day to make it through. Then the next day I am home and use b/c i am trying to organize my house to move.. Then I have too many clients the next day so I use to get through the day b/c I don't want to feel. Or rather I do want to feel... I want to feel like I feel when I'm on it... then comes Friday and I slow down... but then comes the weekend and my significant other triggers me so badly that I just want to not feel and so I use and focus on stuff to get away from him and be present with the kids. Sounds like a winning combo. So what am I actually going to do?? I don't know. I keep saying I'm going to taper and then I keep not doing it.
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Agreed. But how do I figure out WHEN to quit? There will never be a good time.
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Here's the problem... when I am off them I am irritated and anxious and worry about all kinds of shit that I know doesn't matter. When I am on them I am able to be present with the kids and tell myself that nothing else matters but them. I take them on fun adventures and don't worry about schedule and time and all the stupid stuff my anxiety brings when I am not on them. So this makes me justify use even more. Plus, we are moving to a new house (same city) in december and I can't imagine how i will pack everything up and move without it. So this also makes me justify use. I know these are excuses. FML.
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I felt like i responded to this but maybe not. Seeing clients via telehealth.
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Sick and tired of being sick and tired, but not sick and tired enough to stop. (And apparently rebellious because that was 16 words, not one.)
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Got my MBA, landed job, starting business on side
DelaneyJuliette replied to positivethoughts's topic in General Discussion
Thank you for sharing. It reminds me that it is possible and I was once there too. But now I just don't know where to start. Lie. I am too ambivalent to start and keep making justifications why now isn't the right time.