First of all, thank you so much for your reply! What you said here really, really resonated with me and made me take a step back; this internal dialogue that I've been having with myself the past few days has been a lot of romanticizing the work I did while on Adderall and the way it made me feel. The reason I quit was complex. I isolated myself physically and emotionally from my friends and family, had no sense of humor, would become hyperfocused on the wrong things, began to lose control over how much I took...going through a 30-day prescription in <2 weeks, and the comedowns started to be unbearable - making me feel depressed and unable to sleep. Quitting was something in the back of my mind for years, and I knew I would have to face it someday, but I "loved" it so much. I was in denial about my addiction because I thought Adderall helped me have the stamina and focus to accomplish anything that I otherwise couldn't have done. While I know this isn't totally true, a part of me still believes this and I hate myself for it. I so desperately want to change my thinking.
But as you said - there will be no "convenient" time to quit. Once my career begins - I will be dealing with a whole new set of challenges and I need to have this behind me. Thank you for this.
I'm taking your advice and going to a local coffee shop to get some studying done. Baby steps. My biggest challenge will be accepting that my grades may suffer during recovery. I will try to lower the expectations I've put on myself and see how well I'm able to do without "help", I just hope it gets easier. I will definitely come back to say how it went! Thanks so much for the words of encouragement.