letsgetzooted

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About letsgetzooted

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  1. Almost relapsed. Thank you all

    Thank you for your quick reply. I feel better knowing someone has shared similar experiences. Well.... I was 14 days in and took some today. I feel like a horrible failure. It's like how many times do I have to try it once more to quickly remember why I want to quit? That cannot be good. So you quit cold turkey and are 40 days in... how often do you crave it? I would love to hear more about your personal journey. Hopefully you can be my inspiration.
  2. Almost relapsed. Thank you all

    Can I ask you.... are you completely sober and don't use anything else to continue these "natural experiences"? If you wake up and feel tired... do you drink coffee or do you think that is bad? It sounds like you try not to rely on anything at all..... And I guess I do agree with this, although I feel I am not quite there yet. I do rely on people, I rely on food (I have left overeating disorder mentality which makes quitting even harder), I abuse alcohol sometimes when I feel insecure. Yeah adderall is the same thing. But if I am still struggling internally and using things to treat that in other ways, why is there so much emphasis on Adderall? Isn't that the least bad for me especially when compared to alcohol or nicotine? I guess I do not agree that forcing my brain into an unnatural state is unhealthy. I don't see anything wrong with having a crazy productive tweaker day once a month. But the reason I am here is that it got WAY out of hand. Clearly still is if I am clenching my teeth with tears in my eyes wishing I could pop a pill that is sitting in my car because I am an idiot and let my psychiatrist talk me into a refilll...... Isn't temporary relief ok? Don't we all need that? Isn't that what a vacation to Mexico is? But yeah I realized yesterday the only thing getting me through the 30 days is knownig I can take it again. I am losing site of why I don't want to take it. IMPORTANT QUESTION: Do any of you know chemically speaking if taking Adderall 2 weeks after quitting will reset the detox even if it is a small dose? My withdrawals are not that bad and I have a hard time believing that a small dose will undo all of the progress. I am in graduate school and stressed AF. I do not have the luxury to "take it easy the first 30 days" and am drowning and could potentially lose a lot if I don't complete this program well. Maybe now isn't the time to quit cold turkey, rather become mindful of why I need it and take less. I am lost. Please help. I am 2 minutes towards relapse.
  3. Almost relapsed. Thank you all

    I have a similar question, EthericTraveler. I have been taking adderall for 6 years but for the first 5 only took it once or twice a week. Year 6 is when I became absolutely dependent and addicted (taking 100mg + per day for some weeks) and chased the high rather than using it to be productive.... I am still not convinced my life will be better without it and although I am detoxing for 30 days, I still want it in my life a few times a month. I believe that if I can live without it, it will be okay to take and enjoy every so often. Is this mindset messed up?? I want to get back to where I was before I became dependent. I did not look forward to taking it, just took it when I had 100 things to do and needed to focus. Do you think I am not ready to quick if this is my mindset?