Alliee

double post, sorry

I agree with cassie. I don't even remember writing what I posted earlier. Don't quit in the middle of everything. Don't take more than your prescribed dose, though. You shouldn't quit anything cold turkey. You will go through withdrawls probably, especially with the doses you've been experiencing. YOu will be exhausted, moody, depressed. withdrawl can be awful. You need to give your brain at least a month to go through all of these bad withdrawl symptoms. It might take 6 months to be completely back to normal. But, you should titrate off... expect a month to recover.. but with titrating you might not need a month. Good luck with everything. Wait to stop everything. Don't take more than you need. Figure out what you need to get by and do that. Don't take more and more to chase a dopamine high, that's the trap right there. That will end up making you disfunctional but you won't really feel ashamed because you are too out of it, right? Take what is prescribed to you every day. Don't skip on the weekends. That's going to throw your body and hormones even more out of whack. Just easy dose it, remember what you are supposed to take every morning, and take that amount and dose every morning... like the dr said. Don't take more because you want to get a boost! You won't get the boost and you'll be disfunctional. Good luck. Don't go through what I went through with the quitting and withdrawls. I had not clue but I was like a bump on a log and very depressed when I quit cold turkey all of a sudden. Not a good thing to do in the middle of a grad school semester like I did. Wait for a break!

I think you should quit. It makes people crazy.

Why don't you get off the drug and create your own security blanket? Shelter yourself. Do what makes you and your baby happy. One therapist told me.. and this might seem random... she told me that there are some women who sit at home all day and wait for their husbands to come home... and she thinks their children are more stable because of it. I can definitely see that. Being in the rat race causes people to ignore their intuition. Do what you need to do and withdraw, recover, and make you and the baby happy.

9.2 Abuse and Dependence Psychological Dependence: Psychological Dependence is an emotional need for a drug or substance that has no underlying physical need. For example, people who stop smoking recover physically in a short time. The emotional need for nicotine, however, is much more difficult to overcome. They continually think they need the nicotine to stay calm even though there is no physical need. The drug for the addict is similar to what a security blanket would be for a child (or some adults). I feel your pain about the not loving and playing with the baby. I took adderall when I babysat my nephew starting when he as 3 mos and ending when he was 7 mos. You know what? From my heart, I want to tell you that I think love is the most important thing out of all. That is all they need, lots and lots of love. Withdrawing would be hard when you have responsibilities, though. I lived without it for several months and I had no work ethic whatsoever. I'm a kindergarten teacher's aide. I got nothing done without medicine after being on Adderall for two years. I got mean looks from the other kindergarten teachers. But, the kids loved me. I eventually got back on stimulants bc the Kindergarten lead teacher needed me to be doing my work (filing, managing papers, cleaning up messes, looking around to see what I can be doing to help her). I'll say that I'm getting my work done and am more positive about it, but... I swear, the kids have reacted negatively to my lack of love. It's still OK, but I do recognize in my heart of hearts that those kids needed my love and nurturing, more than they needed the classroom to be organized. One day I didn't take it and they were so happy.

quit once-- it's not controlled by the fda. 20/20 did a report on prescription drugs and all of the government agencies reffered abc to each other and wouldn't give any answers. It is a huge problem, and it's the fault of the system. It's common sense and obvious that it's just all about the money.

Unfortunately I am now on Ritalin because I can't function without a stimulant. I hate the Pharmaceutical companies for what they've done to people and how their corrupt industry has damaged a lot of people's lives.

Please go to Addforums.com and tell them about the problems with Adderall. The problems from innocent patients are met with hostility in favor of the drug companies. It's so wrong.

Proof that the Pharmaceutical Companies are the reason for posters problems with meds 1. the companies control the latest, top, best research from Harvard and other university studying the treatment of ADHD (I've seen funded by Shire on all of this research myself) 2. All of the information is not out there. It is hidden by the Pharmaceutical companies so that they can make money 3. EVERY patient should be aware of the research that has been done that can prevent their problems Adderall ruined who I was. It ruined my relationships. I think it ruined my mind permanently, too.

OK, I feel like a person again! A month off of adderall, I am not starting to get the normal fears back. I'm worried about my dopamine receptors and I'm also very worried about the fact that I'm not in a relationship at 25. I'm worried all the loving guys are already loving their girlfriends right now!! So.... I guess that's a good fear to have right now, right? I know that if I hadn't been taking adderall I would be in a loving relationships. My relationships were never rocky before I got on that stuff. Oh well! Things are getting better. I will keep updating.

phew, I just want to encourage you all...My life is not ruined. Things are getting back to normal. I am feeling great today. I am interested in my friends again. It's still painful to think about how I backtracked while taking adderall.. but I still have a lot going for me, which is ok... I am worried about my dopamine receptors the most. I'm also worried about the fact that i'm 25 and live in a small town and had two rocky relationships that would not have been rocky had it not been for adderall. I'm just hoping I haven't ruined my chances of getting married soon. I think I'd be in a relationship and have a job by now. It's ok, though... I will keep updating for you all.

I had the same side effects as you!! My hair thinned as well. What brand did you take??

I couldn't get anything done right and it was making me look physically sick. Did you all know that the brand of adderall matters? I had no idea there was a difference between generic and brand names for adderall... there are different effects. This might be why it turned into something so terrible and was inconsistent. I just found this out last night. I'm so confused about all of this. It's a shame dr.'s don't read up on adderall and how it's supposed to affect people with ADHD. It's a shame they don't warn people about these very serious effects the drug can have on people's lives.

Thanks a lot, this actually makes me confused and it's kind of funny. I mentioned "purple teeth" or darker teeth to my dr. He was very considerate and acted like it was actually something he'd seen. he said yea, they look a litle darker" haha, he said it would be ok and offered no explaination. I think I actually told him gums. Well, I feel like an idiot. Gosh, Adderall has honestly made me a little loopy. of course my teeth aren't purple. I don't know what's wrong with my brain these days, I really don't. I never used to be like this, honest. I've only not been taking it for a month. The farther I get away from that stuff, the better...

I hope I can mend what happened in my closest relationships. I will never take that stuff again. The people I love the most do not look at me the same. I fell like my brain is damaged too. I have no motivation, will power, or anything. The natural discipline I once had is not kicking in anywhere. I feel like I quit Adderall and it dropped me like a ton of bricks. I've only been off of it for a month, though, so maybe it will continue to get better. Still, I'm so ashamed. My whole family knows I took it for two years and now I LOOK like a recovering drug addict. I looked worse when I was on Adderall, but I still look awful. It has only been a month. Maybe I will get back to normal soon. My main complaint is... I lost my friends, my family, my dignity, character, respect. Honestly, I lost all of these things. I will be angry forever because I had absolutely no warning whatsoever... unacceptable. I did not deserve what happened to me. I lost so much that I can't get back, including my health, which has affected my appearance. I honestly feel like my life is ruined.

Just wondering if anyone on here knows why my teeth are darker. My mouth has a purpleish tint. I haven't tried whitening them, yet. My dr. seemed to be familiar with it but gave me no explaination and said it was ok (health wise). I wish I'd known my teeth could possibly get purple before I started taking Adderall. The fact that there is no written explaination on the side effects sheet is unacceptable to me, but I have to accept it.

wow... just wow... chronic lateness, you too?? What is that?? Adderall is SO wierd! Geeze... horrendous history is the word. I had brain zaps as well... had dizziness.. I almost went to the emergency room once. tooth issues, yes. I couldn't do what I wanted to do.. boxed in.. yes. I couldn't respond to people! I'm getting my health checked as well. I'm so much better without the drug. I always forgot my keys. way more than before. My car was an absolute mess. Everything I owned was so junky. This is so not like me. I would have fast food bags in my car.. for weeks. That is something I would NEVER do, but it happened all the time on adderall. It is embarassing looking back. I just didn't care/couldn't think straight, looking back. I faught with my boyfriend without fail on the days I took adderall. On the days I didn't we were fine. It was terribly damaging. My appearance got worse. I just didn't care enough. I couldn't multitask. I couldn't function. I neglected so much. Inward selfhate was out of control by the end of the years I took Adderall. I couldn't stand myself/others. I am so not like that. I'm off it now and I feel like myself. I'm exhausted, but I am so much better already. I'm just myself again.

I loath Adderall also. The effects it had on me through everyone in my life are real, destructive, and undeserved.

I became very paranoid on adderall over time. By the end it was mild paranoia. I was so insecure about my boyfriend still loving his ex. I would fight with him until he was backed into a corner (not literally). It was insane My voice got lower.. and slower.. it was strange. My voice was normally high and soft so I kind of liked it lower. I'm not taking adderall anymore and my voice is back to normal. I feel like i've been hit by a train and done something really wrong. It's like.. "woah guys... I don't know what I was thinkin. I'm sorry."

Thank you for this site Mike. It's going to be something big, I know it.

Matilda- Your post, I am more thankful for it more than anything this year. It was so on point. You have such a gift for this type of writing whatever it is. Thank you so much. What happened to you was exactly what happened to me. substitute a few things.. ex-- chain smoke.. for me was not going to the gym and eating the worst food and not getting anysleep and taking sleep aid's. But, I worked fulltime and went to grad school. My thinking was not latteral. I couldn't write. I was intense, rude, aggressive to people who loved me. My character was shot. I too was scared of something, I was scared of depression that would come back. I didn't know Adderall was going to be that damaging for me. Thanks so much for your post. I can relate.. You represent yourself so amazingly well. If anyone ever challenges you.. your post shows that you did not deserve what adderall did to you. I blame it. I dont know if you do, but I do. The side effects came out of no where to me. Side effects like those require at least a paragraph of explanation and maybe some examples of behavior.. the average person isn't going to look up all of those things. And.. some of the side effects aren't even listed... hello... I didn't know a drug was going to cause me to be five minutes late on the dot for work everymorning... THAT is not like me... hello?? What was that? anyway.... I stand strong.. I shouldn't be blamed.. I'm advocating for the next innocent person who starts to take this drug I've never been an advocate like this before. But, when something that bad happens to someone and it's not their fault.. the bad will eventually be uncovered. I hate that stuff. I want to write something well written and graceful and truthful about it.. and then publish it for all the world to see. I will later. (I really do have inattentive ADD). Anyway. Thanks for your post.

Guys. I did it. I am SO positive that stuff was SO wrong for me. Even the good stuff it did was SO wrong for me. I've been off of it for a week and I have been hidden and absent to the world in my parents' house... sleeping and doing whatever I want. I like being with my family now. My true self is back and healthy. These past few years on Adderall have caused me to do some terrible things in the relationships I valued most . But, I am back. It's me. I'm not damaged. My old feelings and ways have come back unscathed. I did wrong, hit new lows, caused problems by not being me, but I can fix it by staying away from the drug that was not right for me. I have seen it work for someone, but.. for me it was like evil. for me, the side effects were unacceptable. No one but the person who has experienced adderall can understand this... (the average person is wierded out by the fact that adderall could actually effect an entire relationship or something). That's why it's so bad.. it creates unnatural and hidden wrongs. It's gone though. The good has overruled. My emotions are not damaged. I'm perfectly fine. looking back on this post, my writing has suffered. It's not as detailed, I dont want to go to the extra effort anymore. But, I am confident that the work ethic will come back. I could do it now.. but... at the same time I don't know that I could...

Just thought this was cool that they spread awareness. Don't see that very often even though it's so needed.

Thanks so much for this tex. i will hang on to this. yea.. i can't stand when people run like hell from me. I don't deserve this. this is the opposite of who I am.