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About LILTEX41

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    Senior Member
  • Birthday 05/10/1979

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    Dublin, OH

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  1. One Word Status Update

    Passed..... Motorcycle test today...just learned how to ride one in the past 48 hours. OMG. Excited to get a bike! 4 months today too since quitting EVERYTHING.
  2. Congratulations!! That has to feel great!!
  3. Found an old pill and flushed it

    You did awesome!!!
  4. Hang it there, it gets much better!

    It's posts like this one that give me goose bumps. I am happy to hear you have 5 years. That is awesome!! One thing I gotta mention for the newbies or anyone still struggling on and off. One of the best ways I came to look at my clean time I got from Smart Recovery is that they don't believe you're back to ground zero if you relapse or lapse. Instead, we look at all the previous time you had sober as building blocks and none of that time is really ever lost. Addiction is such a non-linear process for so many people and sometimes it takes some of us a lot of trial and error with our use just to be sure it's no longer an option, not gonna work, and/or give up the battle for good. Maybe some are just more stubborn than others, but I do know that if you hit 5 years, your chance of relapse is like 14% going forward and that is something to get excited about. It makes me feel happy to see you are such a pillar of hope now for the newbies. We never know how many lives we impact by sharing our story on this site, but I know it makes me proud and everyone else to that has been around since your first came on board. It sure does help to have support and know we're not alone and also if we slip, we still have friends here that can help us get back up. Thank you for sharing this with us!! Congratulations!!
  5. One Word Status Update

    Anxious (triathlon today)
  6. One Word Status Update

    Thank you Justin!!
  7. One Word Status Update

    WON.... (my first ever half marathon last Sunday)!
  8. It is way easier IMO to just get sober. I've done it a few times in my life and currently at 105 days. Once you are free of all mind altering substances, the fog lifts and you become crystal clear on everything in life. It is so much easier to just avoid all of it and not have to worry about what, when, how, or if you are abusing another substance. And there are no risks! You get used to living sober 100% all of the time and get to feel everything and learn how to deal/cope with it. The thing lately that has made me so excited is keeping track of my emotions throughout the day. In the past, I used to allow myself to relapse over stressful situations or anger, resentment, sadness, etc. Now I've learned to just simply watch how quickly my feelings pass and know that whatever it is that has me worked up one minute will soon dissipate and I'll be fine again. Tonight I was in a house with a two year old and got to watch him go through the same process. One minute he was screaming and crying punching the floor and then the next minute laughing hysterically. I think the biggest part of addiction is that we quickly learned whenever something upsetting happens, it's best to get high. And then we get hooked. And getting clean is relearning how to unhook yourself and self soothe instead. Hope this helps and best wishes!!
  9. Day 6

    Thank you so much you two!! Today is already Day 95. I cannot begin to tell you how much easier it is to just stay on track and do not relapse. The battle to stop again has been pretty dang challenging, but it's starting to get easier. I'm so glad I was an inspiration to you both and hope I can be again. All I know for sure is that there is a way better life for us that doesn't involve this crap. I am so blessed to have endured enough pain I had the drive and motivation to get sober again. I am beyond thrilled at what lyes ahead. All good things are possible on this path and I pray we can all continue to support one another as we travel this road together.
  10. Approaching 90 days: a proud update

    Way to go!!!! Sounds like you're in a great place emotionally right now. Hope it just keeps getting easier for you day by day.
  11. One Word Status Update

    "2nd" Place Age Group Division #NewMoonHalfMarathon Finish Time 1:43:35
  12. Day 6

    Awe, you guys are so awesome!! Thank you!!! Yes, I'm doing SO MUCH BETTER. I'm back on track and feeling wonderful again. So glad you're all still here and haven't left!! Greg, can you believe it's been over 7 years now? I can't. Feels surreal to see how far we've come. Your story is awesome. Love you guys!! Missed you!
  13. How do you fix the life Adderall broke?

    "If I continue using, I'll be dead." This is extremely serious. You need to do whatever it takes to stop and stay stopped. Give yourself 1 year of doing the bare minimum. Take as much stress out of your life as possible and make it the easiest year of your life. If that means dropping out of school for a year, taking a less stressful job, selling stuff, moving to a smaller place, moving in with your parents, or whatever you need to do to be financially ok for 1 year, then do it. Get a chill job at a golf course or recreation center. Just something easy and manageable. Watch movies, get outside and exercise outdoors. Sleep. Get TONS of sleep. Get rid of anything that triggers your use. Yes, creating new routines is an excellent idea. Do the opposite of whatever you were doing in your adderall life to build new neural pathways in your brain so it starts deactivating all your old habits associated with adderall. Manage whatever tasks or things you have to do in small chunks. Just set small goals and reward yourself for achieving them without adderall. Go for a swim, hike, bike ride, grab coffee, see a movie, find a book in a book store and sit for hours reading, go see a concert, or camp out under the stars one night in your backyard. Do the kind of fun stuff you probably haven't done in years because of this drug and learn to enjoy these things again. Give yourself 1 year to allow your brain to heal and get yourself back into a positive happy place in life again. I promise you it's worth it. You're worth it. Don't give up! <3 LT
  14. Long-term quitters: Any lingering issues?

    BeHereNow, First and foremost, I just have to say how freaking proud I am of you!! I remember when you first started coming around and it's so awesome to see you made it 5.5 years!!! WOW!! Great job!! BUT you finished grad school without adderall??!!! That's AWESOME!!! Congratulations!! I don't think where you're at has anything to do with the post adderall slump. To me it sounds like you might be just simply burn't out and tired. I took one month of classes for grad school and decided to get out, lol. It wasn't that I couldn't do it, but I had no life. I'd work all day and study all night and I was just drained. I didn't have any time to workout and I started stress eating which made me start gaining weight so I was like f- that and quit. Anyhow, you stuck it out and did it!! That's amazing. Good for you! But I can see how you'd be really bumming if you applied for all these jobs after all that work and not having much luck. I think once you find a job you want and get settled in your career, you'll get back into a normal routine and feel better. Hang in there!!! Oh, and just wondering if you are networking much? Are you on linked in? Are you part of any professional networking groups? I just no for myself of all the jobs I ever landed it was through someone I knew. We have a group here that's really great. Check it out. See if you can find something like that if you haven't already maybe. Keep us posted and good luck to you!! <3 LT