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About John

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  1. I wrote on here about my Adderall plight a couple of weeks ago. I have managed to quit cold turkey. I have been on Adderall since 1996 except for a 4 year period where I stopped completely. I was able to function just fine. You just need to realize that because you have ADHD you need to work a little harder than someone without it (IT IS possible). Also, often prescribed for depression but for Adult ADHD - Wellbutrin XL has been a god send for me. I found myself getting so much down it FELT like I was on Adderall (in regards to motivation) There is no HIGH associated with it though, I just feel normal. You may want to ask your doctor about it - It WORKS for me I sleep great, no weight gain, no loss of sex drive which is common with anti-depressants, and has even helped me quit smoking! Its markerted under the name Zyban for smoking cessation as well. Look into it and good luck! YOU CAN DO IT! I DID!
  2. Rock Bottom

    I am extremely angry at my mom for taking my pills once I gave them to her in confidence to hold for me. In hindsight I don't really think that she thought it out at all. If I have a script for 60 pills per month (enough at 40mg per day for 30 days) then I would run short by the end of the month if she took them. I thereby had to find "alternative" means of replacing the lost pills. Well when you deal with unsavory people who deal Adderall they usually have way more than a couple of pills, thereby exposing you to copious amounts of the orange devil. Anyways, after my complete meltdown (ie. losing the gf of 4 years, resigning from my job etc); my mom said to herself "maybe I should lay off the adderall and never take it seems to have effected my son pretty negatively on numerous occasions" Had my mom made this decision 2 months ago it would have been nearly impossible to readdict so heavily to the pills. I would have only had the prescribed amount and wouldn't have abused them for fear of being without the necessary pills towards the end of the month. So my mom is off them now too permanently. She is able to kick things pretty easily and given my situation will not go back on them. Anwyays, thank you so much for the message I really appreciate really helps to talk to people with similar issues and even just to vent sometimes. ttys John
  3. Rock Bottom

    I am on day 11 with no Adderall and I feel fantastic. I am telling you...the addition of Wellbutrin XL at 450mg a day has made the transition much easier. While I do crave Adderall a lot, I have taken some measures to make sure I don't go back on it. I downloaded a "Coping with Adult ADD" ebook to my ipad and have been learning strategies to set up my life so that I can deal with my ADHD better. I saw my shrink on Monday and he agreed he think's I'm old enough to try other strategies other than stimulants. So my access to Adderall is now thwarted (kind of) I feel bad but I am avoiding a couple of friends who use recreationally. Im ok with that. Having resigned from my job before I am taking a month or so to detox, hit the gym, go running, and let the Wellbutrin fully build up in my system. Now Mike, to address your question regarding what am I going to do when I get another job. I am still going to pursue a similar job that I had before. I naturally have a A type of personality and like a fast paced environment. In one of your articles on this website you mentioned (and I'm not word for wording it here) that you should just try to get through the day and do what you can. Unfortunately, that would be death for me in my line of business (Sales) where you have to meet thresholds and quotas. But you bring up a good point and this is what scares me BIG TIME. Do I regulate myself to a much less challenging job because of my ADHD with no Adderall and go the rest of my life knowing I was capable of making way more money and having a better job. I go back to a similar high paying stressful job without the Adderall and hope I can handle it, and obviously the last option is to go back to the stressful job but using Adderall as prescribed. The last option is extremely tricky for me because when I take it as prescribed I slowly over a matter of months start to re-addict and use it recreationally. But now that I have cancelled the drug dealers number I could have my doctor do a pill count each month so I wouldnt abuse it. The problem has never been the Adderall at PRESCRIBED dosages, it actually helps a lot in that regard, its when I start to seriously ABUSE it and invert my personality. I become a wreck and I end up on sites like this. This is a tough call for me Mike because I want to make money and have a great family. I don't feel that I should be regulated to some job that I am way overqualified for just because I can't pay attention as well as the next person. That is why I am reading books -"Driven to Distraction" sits on my shelf and now some other ebooks to help find non medicated ways to possibly overcome this hurdle. Organization in itself is crucial, which I'm good at but I could be better. What are your thoughts? Thank you so much for writing back to me and I'm sorry it took a little while to get back to you. John
  4. Rock Bottom

    Hi Mike & Joanne, I have read both of your comments and am headed on a drive home from a vacation spot. When I get back tomorrow I want to correspond regarding your very thoughtful replies. Thank you.
  5. The Two Month Itch

    Yet another post that hits so close to home for me...except that I'm male. I had a job that essentially focuses on people! Financial recruiting to be specific...I mean all I do is form relationships in some way or another. Try doing that completely introverted on 110mg of Adderall with constant paranoia! It's no wonder I quit. I am glad to hear that you have made it two months now - you are an inspiration for me...I am on DAY 1 (ugh) and I know I have a long road ahead of me. No job, and lost the woman I love who I've been with the last 4 years. I'm devastated but am not going to let this little devil pill get the best of me! Anyway, I'm sidetracking at the moment (remember I have ADD haha) but you could consider using WELLBUTRIN XL. It has done wonders for me in the past and will make the transition way easier. It is sometimes used with people with Adult ADD, I know it doesn't work for everyone but is sure as hell worked for me in the past. One day I took it a long time ago when I was in my 4-year no Adderall phase and got so much accomplished in one day I thought to myself HOLY SHIT - this is possible. Also, you do not get a high from Wellbutrin and you don't gain weight, It doesn't feel like anything is in your system at all. You just feel normal, energetic, and ready to take on the world. It has been a godsend for me and I hope it will be for you too. If you have any questions for me be sure to ask me anytime!
  6. i'm new here... & scared

    I am in a similar boat as you. I'm on day 1 of no Adderall. I've been on it since 1996 except for a 4 year period where I was determined to get and stay off it. I feel each person is different but I understand that you are particularly scared that it might change your personality. Just remember your friends are your friends and your family is your family, they are going to stick by you and the absence of the drug is not going to turn you into some lazy monster. You just have to work hard like other normal people. Adderall is essentially cheating, remember our ancestors got through there lives without the use of this crap. Men like John D. Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie, John Piermont Morgan built empires all without the use of drugs. Live is tough, I know I'm getting a little side tracked here but just take some comfort that there are some other people out there going through the same exact things as you. I've been on for almost double the time you have and I have successfully gotten off that crap - they were the some of the happiest days of my life. I relapsed but am stopping now as it's do or die for me at this juncture. Be Strong and make a set game plan, throw out the pills, and keep your chin up! John
  7. Rock Bottom

    Hello Everyone, I guess there really aren't a lot of people on this board and I actually kind of like that. Exclusivity. After reading the many different articles on this website I am overwhelmed with how close this hits home to me. Especially right now. A little background and I will make it brief. I was diagnosed with mild ADD in 1996, since then I have been on one stimulant or another except for a four year period where I had enough of being a slave to the pill. For the vast majority the years spanning 1996 to present I have been on Adderall. I tried Vyvanse, Dexedrine, Ritalin etc. (they are all addictive but I always ended up coming back to Adderall) After getting a new job that was extremely focused on multitasking and details after details I went back on Adderall at a dosage of 40mg per day. I already knew it was going to be a slippery slope and almost ruined my college career being perpetually "cracked out", I gave the drug up for four years so I KNOW I "Can do it," however, the jobs I had during that 4 year span did not require a lot of effort, at least not compared to the last one. After slowly re-addicting to Adderall over the last year or so, I have lost my job and the woman I have been with for nearly 4 years. I was saving and planned on asking her to marry me by the end of this year. I guess I kid myself and try and take the mentality "this time will be different," and it never seems to be the case. I was so distraught over the complete "cut-off" type of break up that I resigned from my job. I am at a point now where I am right on the border of considering re-hab. I'd like to be able to utilize this forum and website to hopefully not do that though. My last adderall pill was yesterday and I had stayed up for about 2 days. I have to end this cycle. I will ruin another job and another relationship down the line if I continue this crap. It will be the most difficult undertaking I have faced in the 28 years on this planet. The script has been cancelled, and drug dealers numbers erased from EVERYWHERE, and my number changed so I don't get the weekly special updates. I was going through my legitimate prescription and using an additional source because my mother decided to addict to it and put me in that position. I actually gave her my pills to hold on to and dole out to me because I felt that addiction creeping up again, instead she does dole them out but takes mine as well, thereby forcing us to seek another means of getting the "devil" drug. Anyways, its in the past...right now I have to focus on detoxing, getting healthy, and getting another job...a new girl is not even in the cards until I have my shit together. Anyway...I know most of this was a rant but here I am! Oh and I forgot to mention something that I haven't seen too much of on this site. One of the most difficult reasons I find it SO TOUGH to quit is the unbelievable/insatiable sexual urges I get on Adderall. They overtake any other urge in my body and I find myself (before being a freak with my ex-gf) and now watching hours and hours of pornography. I crave it! and its awful! I have deleted everything today! I am being very honest here, maybe too frank indeed, but my appetite for sex while on Adderall (I guess while in a manic state) is unearthly and the eventual prolonged orgasm is absolutely amazing...I hear this is often the case with meth which I have never tried. I should mention I am not a recreational drug user and barely drink at all, I do smoke cigarettes like a champ while on the Adderall though. I don't smoke weed, do coke, or take anything else that could screw up my upcoming detox! I am hoping some people on this board can give me some insight on what to avoid and what to utilize to make this grueling cold turkey process any better. Also, I am on Wellbutrin currently and have been for the last couple of years, I have missed dosages though while on the Adderall, I am taking it as prescribed NOW though to mitigate any major depression associated with the Adderall withdrawal. Thanks! John