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Everything posted by quit-once

  1. Congratulations for being accepted into the monastery in your quest of becoming a monk. That kind of lifestyle is bound to help you continue with your path through recovery. It is also a good thing that your dad has kicked his meth addiction and you have forgiven him for the abuse. Please be careful with the kratom. I have read some posts on this forum of somebody becoming totally dependent on that plant like any other hard core drug addiction. If I can find that post I'll come back and post the link for you here.
  2. withdrawal side effects

    I've read about those brain zaps on this forum before, but I think it was related to discontinuing an antidepressant drug like Wellbutrin. I suggest you use the search feature in the upper right hand corner - it looks like an empty bar with a magnifying glass. Broaden your search for things like brain shock, brain zap, etc.
  3. Feeling Lonely

    Hey Drew- Definitely try out yoga - I have been to yoga class twice already this week and have done it for about 7 years now. It keeps me flexible in middle age. I spend a lot of time on another online forum that has lots of friendly people, from all over the world, who don't like dating. https://www.asexuality.org/en/
  4. 23 months clean on my birthday

    Happy Birthday and congrats for finding a job already. What part of Colorado are you living in?
  5. I was so addicted to the act of just taking a pill whenever I needed a boost. I'm sure I got a tremendous placebo affect from taking the herbal stimulants that I used during my first year of recovery. Even 5 hour energy and sugar free red bull provided the boost I used to seek from Adderall. Just last weekend, I slammed a red bull in mid afternoon and happily went off into my day.
  6. Experience smoking meth

    I don't think any less of you for what you did. In fact, if you have always been curious, it was bound to happen, especially since you've been struggling with abstinence lately. I consider meth to be adderall's sinister sister. Very closely related, but not exactly the same shit. Meth is actually cheaper and easier to get than Adderall. I have had friends "graduate" from Adderall to meth and continue their addiction for several more years, so be careful. Personally, I tried meth several times before taking up Adderall. I didn't like it - for me it was way too intense and I hated its side effects. I think your best chance for a successful recovery will be if you leave your toxic environment and start over somewhere else. When are you planning to move to Denver?
  7. Anyone experienced lack of empathy and extreme hostility?

    It was the opposite for me. While using, I was emotionally numb. Sometimes I blurted things out that I later regretted, although most of the time I felt like I showed remarkable restraint. After quitting, the anhedonia provided a cover for my emotions and I really didn't give a fuck about most things enough to say anything hurtful, or constructive, for that matter.
  8. Anatomy of a Relapse

    I needed to read this thread. I've been thinking about how I would really like to enjoy a cig now and then, if only I could use them responsibly. I know I can't do that. Damn, eight years after my last cig and I still desire them. It's funny, but I have to take my cigarette abstinence one day at a time, whereas with Adderall, it's just FUCK ADDERALL!
  9. The word for what you are experiencing is Anhedonia. It is a classic symptom that we all experience during Adderall recovery. It will pass. Keep up the fight. Summer is coming soon!
  10. “What’s Adderall Like” YouTube Video

    @Socially awkward I think it works that way for most drugs people get addicted to. I had a friend who used heroin and I have had friends that smoke lots of weed, and in both cases, they needed to use at a base level just to feel normal. This was one of my big motivators for quitting Adderall - just having to take 90 mg per day so I wouldn't wilt.
  11. Athletic Performance and More...

    Welcome to the forums! Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you are well on your way to quitting for good. My advice would be to continue with your taper and make a plan to finally cease taking the drug and purge your remaining stash, then move on and embrace your recovery. These forums provide great support, and as you probably already know, there is a ton of useful information articles and other links on the main page of this website. One tip I would like to share with you is the tagging feature, which notifies a member when they have been mentioned in a post. All you need to do is place the @ sign in front of their username, like this: @returnofthemac. I mention this because you have expressed appreciation to @Tomasso for his contributions. There are lots of other cool features on the forums like private messaging and visiting the profile pages of different members that help provide a sense of community from this online forum.
  12. Adderall Recovery Guide

    I just spent some time reading your reddit post and especially the comments. You have put a lot of energy and effort into assembling this information. I like the theme of what your program for you, not what will work for everyone, throughout your post. I also appreciate the extensive reference sourcing. Personally, I wouldn't take a fraction of the supplements that you have listed because I believe that time away from the drug is the most important contribution of a lasting recovery, although some supplements and vitamins did help me get through early recovery. Thanks for sharing your work with us.
  13. Adderall Taper Advice

    I'm in the cold turkey camp, here's why: It only takes about three days after your last pill for all of the amphetamine in your body to get metabolized. During that time you will experience debilitating exhaustion and fatigue. So, give yourself 3 or 4 days of solace and separation from the drug to sleep it off and get it all out of your system. After that, the battle is all mostly mental. Sure, you will experience diminished performance and extreme lack of motivation and anxiety and depression and weight gain and it will certainly be unpleasant, with lots of ups and downs, for many months, after you have taken your last pill. If you are serious about quitting, then you will come to the point when you are ready to cease. There's nothing wrong with a strategically planned quit. I think that by continued tapering, you are just prolonging your misery and withdrawals.
  14. Want to lower my bpm

    My resting pulse rate on Adderall and nicotine was consistently 110-120 BPM. After quitting both of those substances it is 50-65 BPM. I was worried that Adderall was wearing out my heart prematurely.
  15. Adderall induced cognitive impairment

    that's exactly how I felt during my last year of the addiction. My cognition began to improve right after quitting. Recovery is a long process.
  16. About One Year Addy Free

    This was the hardest thing for me to understand about recovery. I thought you had to feel sad and blue to be depressed. I researched the symptoms of depression and realized that anxiety was a common effect of being depressed. Throughout my recovery, I have become depressed a few times per year, usually lasting a week or two, but sometimes only for a few days. I had to do some deep reflecting to realize that this was not merely a symptom of recovery, but something I have experienced my entire life. Fortunately, my depression is mild and it goes away on its own. I have found that L-tyrosine, vitamin D, St Johns Wort and /or fish oil usually help get me out of a slump. I noticed a plateau in my recovery around three years. Drinking excessive alcohol is not helpful for depression and especially anxiety. Depression and lack of motivation (another symptom of depression) is definitely the most common theme of amphetamine recovery.
  17. Moving cities

    Good Move! I live in Wyoming....so Welcome to the West!
  18. I used it off and on for the first six years. Then daily for the last three years. Only during the last two years of the addiction did I realize it was causing problems in my life and general health.
  19. Have you been diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease?
  20. Wife and Adderal

    Wow. that's really fucked up. Perhaps her problems are deeper than just adderall? I wish you the best.
  21. Things better than a high?

    I assembled an Ikea queen sized bed (without drawers) on Adderall and it took me an afternoon. It was kinda fun. To this day that is my only Ikea experience. And I agree with @Danquit that cleaning was much better while tweaking...like I actually looked forward to cleaning shit. that's not normal.
  22. I took it daily for the first two or three years after quitting. I still take it occasionally, especially when I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and anticipate it will might be a shitty day. It usually helps.
  23. Shifting Teeth?!

    I suggest you read though this thread if you need more reasons to quit..... Speed is really hard on your teeth, BTW.
  24. Welcome to the forum. I'm not sure I can answer your topic question, but I would like to respond to the rest of your post. So, the main reason you quit Adderall over a year ago was because of tolerance. I can assure you that you will be right back here at this decision place in the future because of this issue if you start taking it again. Maybe not for the first few days or weeks, but eventually you will need to consider upping the dose because it quit working for you again. Adderall works for everybody when they first start taking it, then it quits working for you, and finally it starts working against you as you increase the dosages. Then you have to quit. An adderall addiction is simply unsustainable. You can't take this drug for the rest of your life. Since you haven't abused the drug, you haven't experienced the side effects, both mental and physical, that come with the higher dosages. However, you did experience the withdrawals from the physical and mental dependencies of even a reasonably low daily dose of Adderall. Withdrawal severity and general recovery becomes increasingly challenging the longer you have used / abused Adderall. I suggest taking a fish oil supplement to see if it helps with your failing academics, or maybe find another less academic pursuit. Going back on speed just for better academic performance isn't worth it. In fact, going back on adderall for any reason just doesn't make any sense to me. You really don't need this drug in your life, and quitting and recovery just becomes more and more challenging each time you attempt it. I used, then abused this drug for a total of nine years and haven't ever considered going back on it since quitting about seven years ago. I noticed most of my improvement during the first year of recovery, but felt noteworthy gains in my well-being up to year three.
  25. Slow digestive issues

    I remember this thread from several years ago: Try using the search feature in the upper right corner of this page - there are about two dozen topics or posts dealing with this issue.