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Everything posted by quit-once

  1. 5 years of moderate use, finally quitting

    Congratulations on your decision to quit. You've got this. You've had your essential "aha moment" . I suggest you write down those 1,000 other reasons for quitting and share a few of them with us. There is a thread somewhere around here about how adderall affected people's physical health and I listed all of those reasons for quitting and realized how it was slowly killing me. You only really need one good reason to quit but making a list will re-enforce and remind you how awful that addiction really was.
  2. Up against it

    "I have a problem that keeps going on." "I'm done". These are the closest statements I read that says you might want to quit. The rest of your post either glamorizes using speed or laments running out. Do you really want to quit for good? Because you have to want to be free from this awful cycle worse that anything else you want or need in your life right now. I hope you can come to terms with your addiction, and if (when?) you do, we are here to support you.
  3. @Depression, I had really good luck with L-Tyrosine and took it for about 3 years post quitting. It definitely curbed the depression. The downside? I think it caused muscle tremors (and headaches if I took too much of it).
  4. 14 Months!

    I'm glad to hear you are doing OK. I started shedding the post quitting pounds after the first year of recovery, too. I just read your other post about the influences of Adderall on your life and your perspectives. It is good that you can recognize what Adderall did for you as well as to you. My addiction experience is a part of whom I am today, and I am a better and wiser person for having that experience behind me. Thanks for the update.
  5. How I quit Adderall

    Six Years. Adderall-free is a great way to be!
  6. How I quit Adderall

    It is hard to know where to begin a post like this and I have decided to begin at the end. The end of a time in my life defined by ten years of adderall use and abuse. Those ten years and my lifetime experiences with stimulants leading up to my adderall addiction will be told in a seperate story.....so stay tuned for that. This story is about HOW I beat the adderall addiction. First a little personal background: I am a 48 year old male who lives in the Intermountain West, and I live in the mountains. I prefer to live a solitary, monk-like existence without a significant other. About a year ago I experienced the deaths of three significant people in my life within the span of a month. A Friend. My Mother. A Best Friend. I spoke at each one of their memorial services. I had been planning to quit adderall but it was always some elusive event that I couldn't put on the calander. With my mother's passing, my role in life was changing from the dedicated son and primary care-giver to just me - and my dog, my house, my job, etc. Depression is one of the best known side effects of going off adderall. A year ago, I realized that it would take some time; I didn't know how long, to deal with and recover from my personal losses. Adderall and cigarettes have tremendous emotional numbing properties and I believe they were both very useful in helping me to process my losses. Or at least delay some of the grief and depression. I am also affected by seasonal affective disorder and I get depressed easier during the dark time of the year - fall and winter. Quitting in the spring would also minimize the anticipated weight gain because summer is a more active time of the year for me. I knew that quitting adderall would have to wait until the spring. And quitting ciggarettes would have to wait until I quit adderall. Cigarettes and adderrall abuse are somehow linked. I researched different ADD forums regarding the long term affects of adderall, and quitting - that is how I stumbled onto this web site. I printed and studied several forum discussions and learned that what I was about to undertake was nothing short of life's biggest challenge - defeating addiction. I also learned that relapse was a common thread of most people who tried to quit. I made a vow to myself that I would quit once and only once. I read two books that I would recommend: Unchain Your Brain; and Food and Mood. I told my two addie buddies that I was planning to quit and they were supportive. They said it took a lot of courage for me to tell them. I also told my doctor that I wanted to quit but he wasn't much help. My window of quitting was now defined: sometime between the spring equinox and the summer solstice. I just needed to find a time when my job would be less demanding for 2-3 weeks. There is a special place where I go in the mountains to solve my personal problems. So I planned a four day weekend to achieve the quit. I took enough pills with me for one last addie blast but the day was unremarkable and my last dance with adderall was anticlimatic. I burned my last pill in the campfire at midnight on June 3. I created a quit adderall shrine with this burnt glob of black tar melted onto a rock. I still look at it every day. After the residual energy wore off the next day I went into withdrawls for three days. I also burned my ciggarettes in the fire that night. Big mistake. Addie withdrawls and ciggies need each other. I went back on the ciggs as soon as I came out of the mountains, but eventually quit them about a month later. I had to take one extra day off work but I was able to function again by day 4. One more chapter to my story and this is where it gets kind of wierd. I....am....a hoarder. An adderallhoarder. There - I said it and now I feel better. I don't hoard other things - just pills. Being a dedicated adderall addict, I had to ensure an adequate supply because running out was simply not an option. I bought as many as I could whenever I could get them, and somehow didn't gobble them all up before I quit. So I stashed them...lots of them. But I had to lock them up to avoid temptation. I bought a key-safe, locked the pills inside, then locked both keys in a bank vault (safe deposit box). So far that has kept me away from them, but I am confused about why I still have them and what to do with them. I have been off adderall for about 150 days now and have no plans for EVER returning to that awful addiction. One more thing: I believe that a balanced diet with good nutrition and limited sugar intake helped me to recover better. The supplements I took also made for a better recovery: l-Tyrosine, fish oil capsules, and a good multivitamin. Whenever I feel the need for speed, I consume lots of caffiene, red bull, five hour energy, and any other herbal supplement that purports to energize. I also took chantix for about five weeks after quitting adderall and now I am tobacco free too. Each day is better than the day before in recovery, and I know that eventually I won't constantly think about adderall after I have fully recoverd. Recovery could take me longer than a year and if it does, so be it. I will be an active member of this web site until I don't need it any more and when I no longer think about adderall. We take pills for a quick and easy fix for life's problems. Isn't it ironic that there is no pill to speed (no pun intended) up the recovery process from (pill) addiction? The only thing that works is continious time away from your drug(s) of choice. It is great to be free!
  7. That weighted down sloth like feeling

    Haha, my avitar picture on this forum was a SLOTH for the first year or so.
  8. Ketogenic Diet for Energy and Mental Clarity

    The first time I seriously tried the Adkins diet, I noticed the mental clarity improvements right away. During the initial phase of Adkins (Induction) the goal is to be in ketosis and all it takes is limiting your "net" carb intake to practically nothing - like 15 or 20 grams per day and that isn't much. I'm glad this way of eating is working for you. I still question how sustainable eating like this can be good for the long term. I have only gone back on Adkins about 2 or 3 times since I first tried it, and I not seen the weight loss response as good as the first time, although I am not really overweight. I really do like the mental clarity a ketogenic diet provides, especially compared to the early days of adderall recovery.
  9. After 3 years away from this site...

    Hey hey, MFA! Welcome back. We've missed you around here. Sorry to hear of all the struggles since you left, but it sounds like you are in a better place now and back on track. The good thing for you, is that you really do know how to quit and stay off the shit for the long term and that is huge. It looks like your administrator rights have stood the test of time. We haven't been plagued by spam hardly at all since the IPS upgrade last fall. Looking forward to hearing from you again.
  10. Four Years Ago Today

    Thanks for the positive update on your recovery. I think those of us with long quitting term success all have total abstinence in common. For about the first three years of recovery, I noticed yearly improvement with time away from Adderall. After 3 years, it seems like the daily and seasonal ups and downs of regular life superseded my feelings of Adderall recovery. HC - did you notice a plateau in your recovery or has it just kept getting better and better the longer you are free from Adderall?
  11. Adderall and Alcohol

    I lost my desire for alcohol while on Adderall. I just didn't like the combination of those two drugs.
  12. Has adderall affected your physical health?

    Yes, they went away. I think that was from the lack of sleep and exhaustion that was all too easy to cure with another pill.
  13. How many of us are 100% ADD ?

    Start a new topic. Under the "topic details" header on top, there will be two tabs: the default tab is "content" and the tab next to it is "poll". Choose poll and design your question and answers. It is multiple choice. I think the results would be very interesting if enough people answered it.
  14. I ,too, am shocked that addiction specialists would put you back on the class of drugs that you were addicted to. The above three quotes are from members with a combined clean time of well over ten years and their responses are sincere and true So, you have ADHD, and modern medicine says that drugs are 80% effective for treating it. The problem is, you have already eaten that cookie and all similar cookies still contain sugar or lets say flour and you are allergic to wheat. Since the allergic reaction is worse than your hunger for the cookie, you only have one option - and that is to abstain from cookies for the rest of your life. Cookies just can't be made without using flour / sugar. I know, this is a stupid analogy but my point is that you have simply exhausted the option of using ANY stimulant drugs for treating your disorder. There are other ways to cope and it will be up to YOU to solve that problem. Please be patient and allow yourself the time it takes to recover from this addiction while finding other ways to address your ADHD. I believe that stimulant abuse actually enhances ADHD so the longer you are away from the speed the better you will cope with life, no matter how chaotic it may seem.
  15. The #1 worst thing about Adderall

    The absolutely unsustainable addiction itself.
  16. Day 65 Severe Depression Kicks In

    Welcome and please feel free to post as much as you like. Quitting is a process as well as an event. I planned my quit date well in advance and had to push it back a few times for different reasons, but once I ceased taking pills the journey of recovery took hold and my life has been better than it ever was on adderall since June 3, 2011.
  17. Just to address your topic question, I was not able to read well while on adderall. And it took me about ten weeks after quitting to finally join this site and make my first post. At some point you will need to tell your husband and your dog of your plans to quit because you will need their support and the related accountability.
  18. Scared to stop.

    Welcome to the forum! I can relate to almost every thing you wrote, except for all the medical test bullshit. I just knew that taking adderall was the cause of all of my poor health problems because I had always been a healthy person until the addiction. There is a great thread here entitled "has adderall affected your physical health?" that you should read. I also smoked cigs, but I could not quit while on adderall. So, I cold turkeyed the cigs about the same time I cold turkeyed adderall 5 years ago. Some people like you do better with the taper down process, and whatever works best for you is the right way to quit. Quitting is a process and you have begun that journey. That should be very exciting and scary at the same time. You absolutely cannot spend the rest of your life on adderall if you want to have a normal life and I think you have realized this, but you are still coming to terms with the upcoming divorce from a stupid pill that used to be your best friend. Good Luck!
  19. Hello, I'm Mr. 75%

    That's a BIG one year, Duffman. Congratulations, the worst part of your recovery is well behind you now. For what it's worth, I am an 80 percenter and always have been. I was B student. I usually get it right about 80 percent of the time. It sure beats perfectionism.
  20. Adderall sent me to a mental ward

    Welcome, Beenthere, and thanks for posting today. My jaw dropped when I read how low your dosage was and yet it still sent you to a psyche ward. I always thought that going psychotic came as a result of dosages exceeding 100 mg per day. I am so glad you have quit and are doing well in recovery. 7 weeks is still very early in your recovery and it takes most of us well over a year to get back to "normal", whatever that is. I wish you good luck and success with your recovery, and thanks for sharing your story.
  21. Addict or just a junkie?

    It's really pretty simple. If you feel like you can't quit taking Adderall despite it having a negative impact on your life then you are addicted and need to quit. ... that is the basis of any addiction. You can't just dial it back and return to responsible use. period. Has it quit working for you? Have you developed a tolerance and need more for the same level of buzz? Is it causing you to engage in risky or illegal behavior? Has it impacted your health? or relationships? Is taking or finding speed a priority in your life? If you can't quit on your own, get some help! The rest of your life depends on it.
  22. 4 years 2 months later...

    I remember your first post and how you made an ass out of yourself and then got fired. I have often wondered how you were doing. Your story impressed me - maybe you could repost some of the earlier details or original post? It takes a lot of courage to come back here and try again to kick this awful addiction. Keep trying to quit and at some point your will succeed.
  23. Fatigue timeline

    about ten weeks. I used energy supplements like red bull, 5 hour energy and caffeine pills off and on into my third year of recovery. I still love my morning coffee and sometimes afternoon tea.
  24. Motivation after first week quitting

    Welcome, Addyill. I hope you find this forum useful in your recovery. It never ceases to amaze me how so many different usernames can be derived form the root word of Adderall. You must be a very creative person. I hope you will find the support and advice you need to make your Quit successful!
  25. Has adderall affected your physical health?

    And thank you for bringing this thread back to life, Subtracterall. I feel like this is one of the most valuable threads ever created on this forum because it reminds us of the reasons we quit and how bad that shit is for our physical health.