quit-once

Great advice here! I am going to check out that book and the ap you mentioned.

retired

Welcome back! Thanks for sharing your cautionary tale that a relapse is only one pill away, no matter how long it has been since one has quit. Your comment about good health is spot on. In fact, that was my primary motivation for quitting and staying quit all of these years. I knew I was blessed with good health and if I would have caused a health crisis or a disability from stimulant abuse, I would have had a tough time living with myself and the decisions I made. I quit drinking alcohol about a year ago and I am still amazed at how much better I feel mentally and physically. And a note to our newer members - if you would like to see the recovery journey anyone here had undergone, just go to their profile page and you can read all the posts someone has made since they joined this forum.

I suspect the back pain is due to clonopin withdrawal. I used ativan and adderall together and that back pain was intense on the days I didn't take the benzos.

Even that might not be enough. Depending on how determined you are to continue your pursuit of this addiction, future steps could include finding a drug dealer to purchase pills from or turning to a harsher and stronger stimulant - like METH.

"God helps them who help themselves" -a quote from somewhere in the bible. It really is up to you to take the first big step. Tell your doctor you cannot responsibly use stimulants and tell them how bad you abuse it. Every time. Do you have the balls to do that?

Welcome to the forum. Yea, it IS worth quitting, at any age, unless you plan to take it for the rest of your life. It is an unsustainable addiction. Need more motivation to quit? Just start searching this forum using terms like "long term side affects" or "physical health". Use the search box tucked inside the blue bar at the top of this page. I rarely encounter anyone older than me around here, but you have about seven years on me. The Quit gets more difficult the older you get, the longer you used and the higher your dosages. But, what is the alternative? Looking forward to an earlier and more difficult demise? If you are going through hell, keep going. Thirteen years ago, I quit cold turkey. The first three days were mostly sleep, then the fog set in and that lasted for about the next ten weeks. The fog began to lift around nine months and then after a few years I felt mostly recovered. I wish you success in your Quit!

Exactly! It's all or none with this drug. Congrats for abstaining for two years. You got this!

You can definitely get to a point where you won't need adderall, in fact, you are already there at 30 days clean. But getting beck to the "old me" is going back eight years of your life to the age of 18. A lot of life has happened since then, and you are now an adult, not a teenager. As far as your question about medications - I can suggest some supplements that helped me for the first few years post quitting. I took L-Tyrosine, as needed, for several years. I also took Lions Mane mushroom supplement. I took caffeine- laced energy supplements, five hour energy, vitamin B-12, and lots of sugarfree redbull. Not all at once , of course, but throughout the course of my early recovery. I found the energy pills to be useful early on, as it satisfied my habit of taking pills for energy. You may also want to have your vitamin D levels checked or just take one daily for a better mood and better appetite control. Fish oil is also very beneficial. I still take fish oil, vitamin c, vitamin d and a vitamin B complex almost daily. I still drink a red bull or cup of tea in the afternoon if I need an energy boost.

This just popped up on another forum. I started out as a weekend user before it became a daily habit that grew into a nasty addiction, all within about six years. Then, another three years before I quit. My off days looked like this: residual Mondays, Tired Tuesdays, and rebound Wednesdays. By Thursday I felt normal and ready to binge all over again starting on Friday. I felt like I needed those off-days to push the reset button, for the maximum buzz level. Every weekend felt like a trip to Disneyland. I preferred not to go to work when I was high so I continued this crazy cycle for about six years, until I got my own prescription. Do yourself a favor and quit before it becomes a daily habit.

I started feeling better with more sustained energy around nine months post-quit. Hang in there.

Is this your long-term intention, to completely stop taking adderall? Or, are you just riding out the shortage drama and hoping your next refill will happen sooner than later? Why do you want to quit? You are at a unique place in your life ...starting college sans amphetamines. If you choose to use them again, especially to enhance your academic performance in college, quitting will be exponentially tougher. Major life changes are some of the best opportunities to kick an addiction. Things like new jobs, relationships, death of a loved one, surviving a serious illness, and starting college are all major changes that can begin new chapters in life's journey. Don't blow this rare opportunity.

You are in a tough spot. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you play the game and get the psyche eval, you can get your script and your supply problem is solved, for the moment, and your addict brain is happy. Skip the eval and kick the habit, and the addict brain will be unsettled. Do you plan to stay on adderall for the next 20 years while you raise your kid? Then what? Your rational brain will tell you that a long term adderall addiction is unsustainable and that you will be a better parent, spouse and nurse without adderall in your veins every single day. Listen to that rational brain.

It matters. You've got this!

You got this! After nine months post quit, it seemed like the depression lifted and life got back to a new, drug-free normal for me. It took several years before I quit thinking about it entirely.

Keep us updated on how you feel. The first few days are tough. At least you are aware of the consequences of continued abuse. Have you told your doctor or otherwise cut off your supply?

"Once pickled, never again a cucumber" I think this phrase came from AA. In order to make a dill pickle, a cucumber must be processed, salted and acidified. The pickling process is permanent and the cucumber will never again be fresh. Same thing with an addiction. Once you have crossed that line from controlled, recreational, or supervised medical usages, into a regular unhealthy habit of abuse leading to an addiction that consumes you, one can NEVER return to a state of controlled usage without the addiction progressing. It is why abstinence works so well.

At least you are aware of these unhealthy behaviors and addictions. Regarding the screen time addiction, I don't have much advice as I sometimes struggle with this as well, even if it is just mindless internet browsing and reading the online forums and facebook groups that hold my interest. I have tried to limit my chair time by creating a log of the time I spend seated every day, but I have a hard time following through with the "chair log". As far as your health choices, you already know how resuming the nicotine addiction has diminished your self-esteem. Imagine how badly you would feel about yourself if you took up speed again. My best friend relapsed on cigarettes yesterday and I saw the overwhelming guilt it caused him last night, complete with threatening to throw away the rest of his pack. But when I pressed him to destroy them in front of everybody present, he backtracked. I had a non-smoke with him all evening, holding and mouthing an unlit cigarette, which I enjoy doing because I can enjoy the cig without the smoke. I am surprised you have packed on the pounds while relapsing on nicotine. You must be spending a lot of time in a chair. Pick a place to start getting yourself back on track - whether it is a commitment to at least one healthy homemade meal per day or some kind of exercise routine or fitness class. Or taking up something new altogether. Each addiction is its own unique animal. What works for quitting one may not be as effective for another. Amphetamine addiction is particularly unsustainable at any level once you have gone from the cucumber stage to the pickle stage, and pickles can never go back to fresh cucumbers (borrowing that phrase from AA).

Redbull Rocks! I buy sugarfree Redbull by the case. When I have one, I usually slam it. And I have no guilt whatsoever because I think it's harmless.

I quit drinking exactly six months ago. I am also struggling with the fun factor. It seems like there isn't really anything that can replace the "fun" of the various activities associated with drinking, especially during the summer. I had a great conversation with my best friend, (who was also a fellow adderall addict and recovering alcoholic) on the loss of fun in daily life. He struggles with it as well. I just power through it, thinking of all the health improvements I have noticed since quitting alcohol. It helps me to write them down: No more heartburn, especially while trying to sleep. I can also eat almost any food and it agrees with me. The quality of my diet has improved. I sleep through the night and almost never need to get up to pee anymore. I seem to have fewer bouts of depression and anxiety, and when I do they are less. Greater mental stability. I don't seem to be living in a constant state of dehydration. I can go anywhere, anytime, without worrying about driving impaired. I have more money. I made a list of all the health problems I noticed during my adderall addiction , and posted it on this forum. I referred back to that list many times for strength and reenforcement. Taking adderall was incredibly run, but it came with the high cost of an unsustainable addiction. Try going back and reading some or all of your prior posts, @sirod9 and you will see your progress of kicking this addiction!

Twelve years. My future seemed uncertain and my life seemed unstable during the last years of my addiction. Quitting was the one thing I had to do to ensure that I had a future at all. And it all worked out. An addiction to stimulant drugs is unsustainable over the long term. It was this realization that led me to quitting adderall on June 3, 2011. I ended a lifelong relationship with alcohol about five months ago. I have been struggling more than when I first quit because summer has a lot more of the alcohol-associated activities for me. I was a daily drinker - like 3 or 4 or 5 per day, but I rarely got really drunk. I used alcohol similar to the way I used adderall. I always looked forward to the "starting time" it was a highlight of my day. I just liked that daily low level alcohol buzz during the afternoons and evenings. But, like adderall, I felt that alcohol was also mortgaging my future health. I retired from adderall with an intact brain, and I hope I nixed the alcohol with an intact liver. Here are some health improvements I have noticed since quitting alcohol: Better sleep. I fall asleep easily and stay asleep most nights. I rarely have to get up and use the bathroom anymore. I don't wake up with heart -pounding anxiety at 2 AM and I don't have heartburn from eating too late. Better mental well-being. I have fewer bouts of depression and/or anxiety. Slightly more motivation and I can think more clearly. No acid reflux or heartburn anymore. Not that it was a huge problem but it feels like my cast-iron stomach has returned. Sometimes this condition would interfere with my sleep. More money in my pocket. My alcohol habit was costing me about 200 bucks per month. So, I have a thousand more dollars than when I quit five months ago. The recycling bin rarely needs to be emptied anymore cuz it's not full of white claw cans, and there is more room in the fridge for food. I have more freedom to go places and do things later in the day and evening because I can drive there sober. I will not allow fantasy thoughts of drinking to take hold in my mind. I'm done with alcohol, but it is an entirely different addiction to kick than adderall and I can't say I will never have another drink, whereas I can say I will never take another pill. Fuck adderall. Just some random thoughts from a dude who's been around this website and the Quitting Adderall Forums for the last 12 years.

Way to go, Trevor! Sounds like you are on the other side of the hardcore physical withdrawal from this evil drug. Now the long mental slog through early recovery begins. You got this!

Sugar free Red bull Rocks! I slammed one today as well. I don't see anything wrong with it. You have a good attitude for a successful Quit, @Piano90. You may find yourself sleeping a lot in the beginning of your Quit, along with some bouts of insomnia and a voracious appetite.

That is a tall order and perhaps a false choice. A meaningful life is not assured just because you kick an addiction. A meaningful life is something you must grow into. An addiction to amphetamines is unsustainable in the long run. And that was the number one reason why I quit after nine years.

In the beginning of my quit, I relied on coffee, redbull, five hour energy, and OTC energy or diet pills from GNC. As long as they are not an addictive stimulant drug they can be used as a crutch. I benefit from the placebo affect. The act of taking a pill or capsule and then waiting for it to kick in was motivating enough for me. I realized that part of my addiction was just the act of regularly taking a pill. Another strategy I used for motivation was to use food as a motivator. I would delay having a snack or a meal until after the project at hand was completed or at least well underway.