quit-once
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Posts posted by quit-once
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1 hour ago, LuLamb said:
Adderall became both a coping mechanism as well as a death knell.
I don't like to acknowledge some of the good things that drug did for me, but the coping mechanism was one of the biggest plusses. I guess that when you are high all the time you can cope with just about anything. I was taking care of my aging and failing mother, as well as a new puppy ten years ago, at the time I said it gave me incredible patience. Now that I have another new puppy, I must acknowledge that remarkable coping mechanism. It takes all the patience I have not to strike this precious puppy, for just acting like a normal puppy requiring care and monitoring 24/7. It was easier being high on adderall, although I know I didn't give the last puppy the quality training this one is receiving.
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17 hours ago, StAnne0822 said:
What type of side effects?
Just these:
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On 4/10/2020 at 0:25 PM, LuLamb said:
Oh - and the house was a RENTAL and I spent all of my own money, time, and energy doing it and I never even asked the landlord if he minded or whatever.
That gave me a good laugh as well. I certainly moved a lot of big rocks that didn't need to be moved, but at least I owned the rocks and the land and I can still look at them and shake my head. I grew more gray hair in a short amount of time on adderall as well. After quitting, the gray hair turned back to brown for a few more years. I feel really lucky that I slithered out of that addiction without any significant long term health problems, despite plenty of side effects while using the shit.
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Her name is Penney and I got her last week:
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Welcome to the forum and congrats on finally quitting. Since you have been preparing for this moment for the last nine months, I have no doubt you will succeed especially if you stick with your plan, the workouts, and not drinking.
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On 3/15/2020 at 1:08 PM, LuLamb said:
Also wondering about things like "TOTAL ABSTINENCE" (like from everything: I still smoke, use marijuana, drink some alcohol, caffeine, occasionally take cold/allergy meds that contain pseudoephedrine, and have tried Kratom) vs just abstinence from Adderall. Sometimes I feel like I SHOULD abstain from EVERYTHING, but most of the time I feel like it's all i can do to get by without Adderall and tell myself I'll worry about the other substances in due time...
I am a strong believer it total abstinence from adderall and all other stimulant drugs. I also kicked cigarettes when I quit adderall because I felt they were horribly linked, somehow, and I needed to quit nicotine for my health anyway. But alcohol, coffee, and weed? I still use them all, almost daily. The key word is use but not abuse them.
12 hours ago, sleepystupid said:but even an isolated incident of taking a pill one night can open up the negative reward pathways that you've worked hard to shut down. and that's the thing about total abstinence - it's less about the biochemistry and more about containing addictive behavior. a sober you may be fully in control of your desires. but a drunk or high you might just "fuck it" and pop a pill.
This is why I believe in total abstinence from Adderall (and nicotine). I know if I take even one drag from a cigarette, I will seek future opportunities to sneak a smoke again, so I use all the willpower I have not to take that first toke. Just the other day, I had a social "non-smoke" with my friend and I went through all the motions of smoking with an unlit cig in hand and I kind of enjoyed it. That same friend is meth recovery and he is also an alcoholic. He absolutely knows that he cannot get drunk because it causes meth cravings he cannot control.
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4 hours ago, imabuki said:
I know I do not have the strength to endure another 4 months of hell like that again.
Bullshit!. What's your alternative...to stay on Adderall the rest of your life??
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I just read about you losing your dog. I'm really sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is the hardest kind of loss to take. My 11 year old German Shepherd died last November and I have had bouts of depression come and go all winter long. I've started looking at puppies on the web and it won't be long until I have a new pet. @sleepystupid is right about the exercise. I have a home workout program that I do at least twice per week for about an hour each time. It helps keep my mood stable. You don't need Adderall in your life anymore. Just fight the good fight and before you know it, it will be spring and things will start looking up.
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@Andyd2 I didn't find any supplements that helped my stomach, rather the lack to regularly taking any pills (supplements) seemed to do me some good. Sometimes I go for a month or so at a time without taking anything. I usually feel better and sleep better when I don't take any supplements. And when I do take them, I only take fish oil, vitamins C, D, and B. Come to think of it, once I took a multivitamin with minerals that messed with my stomach.
Digestive recovery is like the rest of recovery, with gradual improvement and periodic setbacks. Even now, I will get reflux if I eat or drink the wrong foods too late at night, but only sometimes. During the day, my normal diet agrees with my digestive system almost all the time. Most of the big improvements in my recovery were noted during the first two years.
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Besides changing my diet, I avoided sleeping on my right side. One bout of severe gastric reflux can do some lasting damage to your esophagus. I also tried to drink plenty of water and not too much beer. I have gradually cut out diet coke and taking supplements as well. My stomach symptoms were bouts of heartburn and gastric reflux after eating processed carbs - especially white bread and tortillas and pasta. After milk, My stomach felt unsettled so I only drink almond milk now. Some foods gave me excessive gas and bloating, foods which I can easily eat now. Actually, I can eat just about whatever I like now, but I don't like things that are overly sweet or starchy. Oh, and I can't (don't like to?) drink alcohol after dinner anymore, either.
Honestly, it was about five years after quitting that my stomach returned to "normal" and I was really relieved that it did. I had always thought I had a "cast iron stomach" and could eat or drink just about anything with no ill effects. I do remember that Adderall was fucking with my stomach while I was still using - like I could not tolerate an empty stomach for very long. Normally, I don't eat anything until noon but I couldn't do that while using Adderall. I was worried that Adderall had fucked up my nerves and digestive system...and other organs and systems. Nine years after quitting and things are pretty good. Recovery takes a long time!
By the way, if you use this site's search feature with critical key words - like "bloating" - you will find some interesting topics and posts related to health.
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It took about two years after quitting to get my stomach back to normal. I never have gone back to drinking milk or eating sweets before bedtime. I had to almost completely quit eating the high carb foods, especially before bed time. Even now, if I eat or drink wrong late at night I get GERD bad enough to interfere with my sleep and it keeps me from sleeping on my right side. Not sure if that was caused by none years of Adderall or just middle age. I don't take any heartburn tablets like Tums and manage it through diet modifications or nixing the foods that cause problems.
Welcome to the forums and congratulations for being Adderall-free for one year!
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I love (sugarfree) RedBull but I drink way less of it than I used to. I could somewhat satisfy an Adderall craving by slamming a redbull. I never felt like consuming caffeine or any other kind of non-speed stimulant was detrimental, or enhanced Adderall cravings. In fact, I used anything I could get my hands on for stimulation as long as it wasn't a drug in the first year or two of recovery. I think caffeine can enhance the anxiety, which is a symptom of post quitting depression. But consuming excessive alcohol is even worse for the depression and anxiety, especially the day after overconsumption.
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Thanks for checking in and sharing your wisdom. That was an inspiring post to read!
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Here is my two cents, from someone almost nine years clean.
I quit because Adderall quit working for me and it started working against me. I realized the addiction had become unsustainable. The side effects were causing numerous health concerns. I was tired of making Adderall procurement my top priority in life. I knew I would lose my job if I continued to use Adderall, (for reason number 1) and I simply couldn't afford to take that risk. I used it for nine years and I was ready to be DONE with that phase of my life. I treated quitting like the death of a relative or dear friend. That part of my life was over. Period. And from my experiences of trying to kick a lifetime cigarette habit, I knew that total abstinence was the ONLY way to get that monkey off my back. So I quit Adderall and cigarettes on June 3, 2011 and I haven't looked back.
What are your reasons for quitting, @Lizzyc? How do you plan to make your quit stick?
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Hi, LilTex, glad you're back. Wow, a 2.5 year relapse is a long run. Was your relapse on alcohol, Adderall, or both? Are you still an advocate of Smart Recovery?
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14 hours ago, NurseAddy said:
Do the supplements just help you with your placebo effect? Have you tried CBD oil?
I am one who benefits from the placebo effect, so yes, that worked for me. The only CBD product I have tried is a muscle ointment I got from my chiropractor. CBD wasn't even a thing when I was recovering.
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18 hours ago, NurseAddy said:
My new challenge is how to curb my cravings, any suggestions there?
I used fake speed to curb my cravings. Anything that was stimulating that did not contain a stimulant drug - like five hour energy, energy pills from GNC or truck stops, or even slamming redbull. Vitamin B12 under the tongue gives a nice buzz. I was almost as addicted to taking a pill on a regular basis as I was to the actual drug. I used this approach well into the second year of my recovery.
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Send that pill to hell and flush it now! (unless you already took it)
I found a lone pill a couple of years ago, and I was going to hang on to it for a friend. The temptation was unbearable after about five minutes so I flushed that little blue fucker.
Do you really want to go through this recovery game all over again? Don't give up, you have over a month of freedom under your belt already!
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From my standpoint, I dread the thought of waking up under the addiction of Adderall. I just can't imagine how awful that would be anymore. I saw my adderall addiction as a mortgage on my future. The pain of recovery is merely the act of paying off that loan. The first ten weeks of recovery are absolute hell. But even during this challenging period, some days are better than others and eventually the good days will outnumber the bad days.
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10 hours ago, LuLamb said:
. But I have clients to see so I also want to take a skosh of one of the 20mg pills I had found stashed last week.
Be careful, that can be a slippery slope. Even the smallest amount of the drug can change thinking pathways in your brain. It could be enough to make you just say "fuck it" and go back on it despite your best intentions. Total abstinence is the only effective way to ensure your Quit will succeed.
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Another motivating factor is that the opportunity to quit comes around infrequently. I found that to be true with both adderall and cigs. It could be another few months or years before you feel like quitting again. keep going!
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2 hours ago, LuLamb said:
I’ll bring all of my supplements and the two Addys I found yesterday and I feel fine about that. I have not yet been tempted to take them. Maybe I’m playing with fire or kidding myself by keeping them around.
It's funny how that works. I used to quit smoking cigs by having them around, and when I kicked Adderall, I kept a mutilated melted glob of two burnt pills on a rock until.....well, I still have that trophy. I burned my last two available pills when I quit.
What matters most is your solid determination to make this Quit succeed!
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Welcome to the forums. You have a good start with this endeavor by cutting off your supply. Being older certainly makes quitting more challenging. I was 48 when I quit after using it for nine years -and that was about eight years ago. When I was in the process of quitting, it gave me tremendous encouragement to read the stories of people who had actually successfully quit and moved on with their life.
I've always felt there are three variables that impact the length and difficulty of Adderall recovery: how much you used (daily dose); how long you used (years on speed), and your age.
I remember the early days of recovery, when food and rest were my main motivators. I hope you can rest a lot during these first few days of your journey. And don't worry about eating too much. I'm sure you know that drill..... Good Luck!
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10 hours ago, ReadytoQuit said:
. Adderall makes me feel happy and I kick ass at work, but when crashing my lows are very low. Today, I went cold turkey. I didn’t ask the doc for his advice. Just did it on my own. This is not the first time, and I’m worried it won’t be the last. Need some advice.
Welcome to the forums.
It certainly won't be your last time quitting if you don't so something different. Obviously, you haven't told your doctor you are ready to quit. That would be a big first step. It takes a log of courage to do that. If it is easier to lie, then tell your doctor a whopper like it gave you some really unpleasant side affects or tell the truth about how badly you dislike the ups and downs of your addiction. But if you don't cut off your supply you will be right back in adderall hell again next month. Another thing I suggest is to create some kind of negative outcome if you fail to quit this time, What could you consider to be a significant penalty or next step if this Quit fails?
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Disappointed in myself; continually tested with real friends
in Tell your story
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Welcome to the forum. You have a tough situation that I can relate to. When I quit, I was determined to keep my friends. I would even let them use hard drugs in my home a few times. But, I had to step away from them. One friend, whom I have known since we were 13, kept using adderall then meth for several more years. He eventually quit his addictions about a year ago and we are still good friends and hang out together often. I didn't see him very often when he was still using, mostly by his choice. My other friend continued using all drugs, and eventually went homeless and I have lost track of him.
What I'm trying to say is that I get how important your friends can be and I don't think you have to abandon friendships to successfully quit, especially if there is more than drugs holding those friendhips together. I also think that your occasional use of adderall and xanax is both risky and foolish. It doesn't take much to reactivate a speed addiction. You didn't elaborate on the reasons for quitting adderall, and I suggest putting those thoughts in writing so you can be reminded how awful and insidious this addiction was, can become again.