jlp

Hi, I've decided to quit adderall tomorrow. I'm a 21 year old college student whose been taking 30 mg XR everday for four years, and feel as if the last four years of my life have been lost to this pill. I haven't made any new friends since graduating from HS and I have lost most of my old friends, and I feel like Adderall is the culprit. I just simply cant connect with people any more....I kind of just dont care about other people and their lives, and I cant really forge any meaningful relationships. I really wish I could, but I just dont know how. I used to be funny too.....people often told me that I would be a comedian some day, but ever since Ive taken adderall, I try to be funny, but nothing comes. I've just lost all my creativity and personality and Im at the point where I just dont know what kind of person I really am. I dont even know what I like or what I want, which is incredibly frustrating. I feel like a shell of a human....with no personality or emotion. It seems like the adderall doesnt work anymore, either. Im chronically late, I usually just use my little period of being focused to get lost in a video game or the internet.....My room is a mess, my car is too, and cleaning and doing laundry just feel like they are too mundane and dont do anything for me in the bigger picture. I definitely struggle with actually going to class and doing assignments as well....its like the adderall is making my ADHD worse. Anyways, enough with all this depression. The only reason I havent quit is because I actually feel incredibly weak in the gym w/o adderall, and I definitely binge eat when I dont take it. I feel like thats all that I have going for me right now; working out and getting in shape.....but I think the weakness and binging are only short little phases and Ive realized that there's no way I can live a happy, successful, and even productive life while on adderall. That is why I am quitting tomorrow.