babysteps

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in high school but I don't think I ever really had it. I think I was just in high school and going through hormonal changes like most teenagers and was probably misdiagnosed. Update: I'm in my last few weeks (5mg) of adderall and I've really felt the difference. I seem to get tired more easily and am not as motivated to work out as I once was. I sleep longer and have decided to see a nutritionist to teach me how to regulate eating patterns again. I'm hoping this is just a part of the process and hopefully It won't last too long!

My story. For a while and at my highest dosage (45mg or 90mg when doubled) I was invincible. I did well in college. I worked out a lot, I had energy for everything. I also started sweating more and getting anxiety. While on adderall I was also prescribed to Wellbutrin. In the beginning I couldn’t imagine life without Adderall. I remember doubling it up if I didn’t want to eat that day or if I needed to get more done. That’s the other thing about adderall, it kills your appetite. My weight was average in high school 5’5 125-130 but on adderal I got down to 110 at my worst. What I’ve also heard is that it creates obsessive compulsive behavior in people. For me it created an eating disorder hell which has taken me years to free myself of. After years of therapy, my doctor and I decided that I needed to get off of adderall and while I knew this, I still wasn’t ready to stop taking it. I was however ready to stop doubling it up. I could be exhausted and take that pill and lie down and within a half hour I could feel my blood flowing and a need to move, wakeup and do something. What I first loved about Adderall, I've slowly grown to despise. Then the fear of weight gain set it. The fear itself was the worst part. See I tried taking “breaks†but I was useless without it. I would vacillate between being a vegetable and a compulsive binger. I had no self-control. It was scary because I didn’t want to be like this all the time if I got off the pill. I’m 24 now and since I first started this nightmare almost 6 years ago, I’ve wised up a bit. I finally love myself and am ready to go through hell if necessary to regain my true self. I finally feel worth the effort. This has been a long time coming but I am ready. A month ago my doctor gave my my last three scripts and I felt a joy inside like no other. I couldn't stop smiling. It felt so right and as it still does. I’m proud to say that I am currently on 15mg of Adderall and next month I’ll be on 10mg and 5mg in January and then I’m done. Along with gradually lowering my dosage, I’ve started practicing yoga more and incorporating more raw food and green smoothie into my diet. Honestly, I don’t feel depressed or have any crazy side effects yet like others have noted. I’ve even had days where I simply don’t take the pill and I’m fine. Sometimes I even have the urge to just not take the pill at all but I know that gradually weaning myself off is probably the safest way to do it. I credit my increasing natural energy to incorporating raw food into my diet. Glad I found this site and a community of people who know exactly where I am coming from! Thanks.