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About hyper_critical

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    Philadelphia, PA

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  1. An Update And The Word I Fear The Most

    You The (Duff) Man.
  2. Finals week relapse and my mental breakdown (update)

    It's very hard if not impossible le to accurately diagnose someone in the throngs of amphetamine addiction with other mental health problems. Takes 3-6 months to get a baseline. More than one psych was convinced I was bipolar shortly after I got clean, due to how I presented. Thats not medical advice, just my experience. Try to find an addictions specialist and be completely up front about your situation if you decide to see a psychiatrist again.
  3. Finals week relapse and my mental breakdown (update)

    You're killing yourself. Let go. You don't have to live this way anymore.
  4. 7 year addiction & now cancer. I need to quit now.

    Tell your doctors. No brainer. Not even worth engaging in further conversation about the pros and cons and dismantling rationalizations that keep you paralyzed by fear. How is your doctor supposed to effectively treat you if you're hiding a MAJOR part of your medical history? Tell your doctors.
  5. Rehab for adderall addiction?

    Yes. Argued viciously against it, though deep down I knew how bad I was and eventually gave in to the pressure from my family. Thank God. Saved my life. Did three weeks at Seabrook House in New Jersey, then three months at their extended inpatient facility. Kicking and screaming every step of the way. Thought I would be two weeks in and out and back to work. SO GRATEFUL to have had the opportunity to heal like that early on. Do it the right way and you only have to go through early recovery once.
  6. One year down!

    Congratulations, Danquit! That's huge.
  7. After 3 years away from this site...

    Omg you helped me SO much in my early days. Welcome back! I'm glad you're alive and kicking. There's a lot of hope going around the forums these days. I hear the secret is motivation follows action, or something like that...
  8. Same Shit (kinda?) Same Toilet

    I read the whole thing. Getting off and staying off Adderall has to be your #1 priority. Or not, and you can continue as you are. All the psychobabble in the world, talking about your anxiety, career, school, etc won't do a damn thing until you deal with the elephant in the room. You know you're addicted to this stuff. You know you can't take it as prescribed. You know it doesn't work for you any more. I've been where you're at. It doesn't get better. There aren't a bunch of lessons you need to learn from continued relapse. Do what you've gotta do to quit and stay quit. Good luck.
  9. Will the drive ever come back?

    Yes. Got off it at 24, and I feel "full strength" now at 28 (nearly 29...yeesh). Probably been near/at this point for a couple years, it just hasn't "felt" like it. Came across this article the other day and loved it. Think it's something many of us struggle with after Adderall: https://startupbros.com/21-ways-overcome-impostor-syndrome/
  10. The good days

    That's awesome, Sunnie. Good for you. You'll keep surprising yourself at how much your natural self is capable of.
  11. Quitting again after a setback

    This is what chemical dependency/addiction does. It convinces us in moments of weakness we don't have a problem. This is a lie: once pickled, never a cucumber. Remember that during your next and hopefully last quit. Ultimately YOU are responsible for your recovery from Adderall addiction. You now know you have a problem. You know there is a solution. Many on here have been at least as sick as you and recovered. If you're not sure you can do it, believe us, because we are sure you can. This CAN be it, but that's up to you. Make the decision, rip the steering wheel off, and be willing to ask for help early and often. Good luck. One day at a time.
  12. No im not taking it easy thank you.

    This book really helped me in my second year: https://www.amazon.com/Second-Year-Sobriety-Comfortable-Everything/dp/1568382316 Whether you're "In recovery" or not, there are some good tidbits in there.
  13. One Word Status Update

    Strong AF
  14. Four Years Ago Today

    Hey Quit-Once, Good question. I attribute a lot of my gains the last year to working a program of recovery. But to answer your question: yes, things are getting better and better. Whether that's because of additional time away from the drug or now that my faculties have returned, me taking responsibility to continue growing from here (which includes working on managing my ADHD) is tough to know. H-C
  15. Four Years Ago Today

    Thanks, and my pleasure. Have shared more over the years but you'll have to look up old posts...I don't have a magnum opus in me tonight ; ) Six years.