Alicia

I finally told my doctor that I am abusing adderall and want help to stop and he actually wrote me another script! He said I should ween off of it but I told him that even if he writes me one for 22 pills, those pills will be gone in 2 days b/c I ABUSE adderall. I left his office, tore up the script and made the best decision I have in a long time. I can't afford to see a psychologist or god for bid go to rehab so I've decided that NA was the next best thing. I went to my second NA meeting last night and shared my story about being addicted and abusing adderall for 10 years and I was quite shocked at how many people came up after the meeting and told me they were addicted too. For the first time I did not feel totally alone in this uphill battle of addiction. You think of NA meetings filled with people who are on crack, heroin or just alcoholics but it's almost the opposite. The majority of people there seemed to be battling some kind of prescription drug addiction, middle class working adults with families and normal lives. It was an eye opening experience making the decision to start attending NA. You don't even have to speak- you can go and just listen to other people talk about what you are mostly feeling and everyone there is so completely understanding and non-judgmental. Anyone out there looking for a different route (besides this website which started my journey to recovery) please reach out to me and I can help you get started finding a meeting in your area. Yes it's scary at first but it is a solid program with a lot of success stories and I hope to be one of them Keep living life one day at a time and try and stay present in the moment. My mom used to always say "the hardest part of moving forward is not looking back". She was such a wise woman Thanks as always for reading. Alicia

I am on day 5 of quitting and I feel fabulous. Nothing like I thought it would be. I have been drinking a lot of coffee with turbo shots (espresso) and believe it or not I think it helps. I don't know how long it will take my body to realize that I no longer have the energy i used to but so far so good. I am so proud of myself!

Well it has been 3 days since I quit and the biggest step was giving my best friend 120 pills to flush down the toilet. I have faith in myself and faith in God and I will kick this addiction. I quit smoking cold turkey 6 years ago and now it's adderalls turn. Good luck to everyone !!!!

I am so tired of relying on blue pills to get me through each day and the terrifying feeling I get when I am about to run out. I have been taking adderall for about 10 years now. I was diagnosed with ADD in college and did not abuse it at first but in 2004 my mom died suddenly from a brain aneurysm and my life changed completely. She was my best friend and I relied on her way to much emotionally and I have never felt so alone in my life. I could hardly function or get out of bed in the morning and that's when adderall became my new best friend. I had always self medicated in the past but this was different- I was popping a pill just to get the motivation to take a shower in the morning. My life was a roller coaster of emotions for the next couple of years as I went from job to job and relationship to relationship. I was slowly becoming a different person and didn't realize it until about two years ago. I was abusing adderall and in therapy trying to figure out why I was suffering from such panic lately (not even thinking it was the stimulant that I had been abusing for 8 years and of course not telling the psychologist that I was taking it). I went 8 days without sleep and was delusional. I was hallucinating and twitchy and had lost 20 pounds. I was suicidal over it. My doctor admitted me to a psychiatric hospital and I was there for over a week. I was so scared but I think it saved my life. You would think something like that would scare me straight but it didn't. Here I am today, still living script to script and dreading the week that I have to go without it b/c I have to wait enough time in order for my primary care doctor to prescribe it. I actually like my job but am fearful I will lose it because of calling out when I don't have my adderall. Here's the thing- I hate the way adderall makes me feel anymore but when I run out I get SEVERE panic attacks where I can't even leave the house. I can't eat and I shake all day long. It's horrible. I hate the way I am when I'm on it and off it but I am making the choice to get off it permanently and have never been more afraid. I live with my boyfriend and love him so much but he does not even know that I take this horrible drug. I have become so good at hiding my addiction. How do I tell him that I am about to turn into a different person as I go through all this? I don't even know where to start. I am grateful to have found this site and know that I want to quit. I miss my mom everyday, but I miss who I used to be without adderall more. Well, thanks for listening.