luann1

My name is unimportant, though if anyone responds using gmail, you'll see my name. I have been on Adderall ER for 7 years due to a psychiatrist's diagnosis of ADD-Adult Onset, among other mental disorders. I quickly discovered, after taking my dosage the first time, that I felt "normal," i.e. no fears, no intimidation felt by me comparing my co-workers' work with my work, happiness, engergy, could carry on conversations with others without intimidation causing me to be a wall flower (thus, another diagnosis "social phobia.") I tried this weekend to quit Aderrall ER this past weekend. Beginning Saturday p.m. I was hysterically crying and haven't quit since (today is Monday, 2/13/12). I hate myself. I can't do anything but cry and feel like God has forsaken me (I am a Christian.) So, just now I took over my dosage amount (which has not been a usual habit of mine.) Adderall has ALWAYS made me feel like my "old self" - full of confidence, talkative to people, creative; but NOT EVER COMPETENT. I had several break downs unfortunately at work and I've beem committed once. I am now on disability based on mental illness and I just know I'm NOT disable, but I also know that before I began seeing a pyschiatrist, I could never keep a job. I'd last about 3 years after I began to have this horrific FEAR of work and thus, I continuously FAILED at everythings at work to the point of me quitting and finding another job(I am a lawyer - but no more - speciffically I was a prosecutor for about 15 years before I finally quit my last job, college instructor of criminal justice where I had my 2 break downs. I think NONE of the medicine or counseling is helping me, but I also KNOW Adderrall is FALSELY kime "feelnormal,"ms band that's not right. I want to feel like I used to in high school 30 years ago. All my symptoms began after high school due to the above reasonings I stated just above. I figure that since Adderall is making me experience "false normalcy," I must quit it. I've tried but I could not withstand the emotional pain I experienced this past Saturday to early this Monday morning, so I took Adderall. Is this hysterical crying and hating myself and begin thinking weird things that make me want to die NORMAL as withodrawal symtoms? Thank you and sorry for the "book" I've written. I'd appreciate SOMEONE to respond. My family has not supported me as to Adderall or even as to quit disability. I'm totally alone except for Jesus that I'm fighting to maintain my faith in. Thanks