CajunGrocer27

For the first time having things I could say were real hobbies that I had a real emotional connection to. Music for hours and hours until I got blisters were some of my best memories. But at the same time, without realization, my diet was going downhill, my drinking was getting worse, my attitude more reckless and self absorbed, and it began taking its toll on my family. My behavior was unpredictable at best, and any accusation of wrong doing, or confirmation of my irresponsibility from my parents resulted in rage, terrible words, storming out and getting fucked up. I found the more depressed I felt at these low points, the more inclined I was to self-destructively hit the meds. I couldn't have said it better myself. I became so self-absorbed in music, because for the first time I was able to enjoy doing it for hours at a time, that I actually ruined friendships and relationships with girls because it was all I cared about. I acted like a complete nut and asshole but felt it was completely justified. The hard part about quitting is finding the motivation to continue to do things that make you happy, such as music, without the euphoric kicker of a pill. I'm two months clean and still trying to find that motivation but just know that your story is very similar to many of the experiences of other members of this site.

Hello, I am over two months clean of adderall since an addiction that started at 40mg and grew to 60mg a day (more if I were going out) over the course of 2+ years. Before I started taking adderall, my friends would have described me as funny, outgoing, sociable, happy-go-lucky, etc. I realized that adderall had taken that, and many other positive aspects of my life, away from me and so I decided to quit taking it. It's been over two months since my last pill and I must say that the depression/fatigue aspect of the withdrawal seems to be getting worse. I have barely any energy to get out of bed and no reason to many days as unless I have an interview (I'm currently unemployed). I know I should be working out but it's almost impossible to find the motivation to do that. I certainly do love to eat though. I find that I'm avoiding social situations with friends and family because I'm embarrassed about my ballooning weight and lack of confidence in being able to bring any type of conversation to the table. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy or had a good day. I take multi-vitamins and extra vitamin D. I can't seem to get past this barrier of lethargy even though the boredom is excruciating. it's a vicious cycle of boredom but lack of energy to be active. Is it common to experience these feelings for this long? Any tips to get past this? How long can I expect to feel this lethargic? Will I ever have a normal energy level?