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Zerokewl

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Posts posted by Zerokewl

  1. I don't use on a regular basis anymore, but i have relapsed and used sporadically.

     

    What i was wondering was how does your body/mind react to the crash?

     

     

    So my ultimate question is, Is this a physical malfunction or is it mental?

    Have i done so much damage to my body that it teeters on the edge of like a heart attack or something?? OR do i have panic attacks when i come off of the pills?

     

     Adderall is speed what you are describing is jonzing.  What you are experiencing is dehydration so hydrate, drink a smoothie etc.   

    • Like 1
  2. A Honda engine seized? How's that happen you sure about that? Far as your ability to move on past all that is great but Honda engines are damn near bullet proof. I just sold my Honda CBR 600RR to pay some bills feel your pain.

     

    I'm surprised too, a oil leak I think. The oil light had been coming on for a about a year I just thought it was an older car and you know and kept giving it oil.  I asked a mechanic about it and he looked at and wasn't worried. I was adding oil when I filled up.   I'm trying to get a good price for the parts.  But you buy a Honda with the idea that they are bullet proof, but I guess not.  

  3. I need to constantly remind myself of this.  It is so true.  I was always seeking the greater buzz and I know that I would have found myself in a stimulant addiction at some point in my life.  I am really glad I have learned those lessons and moved on.  

     

     

    This is so true. I think about what if I hadn't taken adderall for the 1st time what would have happened what would have life been like etc etc. But the reality is I would have found something to get addicted too. 

  4. To be honest, I will really miss that car. I'm really feeling this loss hard. I really wish I had a few more year with that car. Financially I'm really struggling and the loss of this car is a big blow to my ego.   

  5. My cars engine has seized and is not worth repairing. The sleek Honda coupe with leather seats was one of the last vestiges of my former life. A life where I had nice things. I've caught myself thinking about the day I chose to take Adderall.  When I 1st took that pill about 6 years ago.

     

    I have very little left of my life before adderall. A life where success came easy, good times and friends.   When I bought that car life was really good, I had a girlfriend, an impressive job title and a bit of money.  But then I took adderall, to give me a little edge on some paperwork. Adderall destroyed my career.

     

    A career that got me that car. A car that represented me at that time in my life. It represented my success a success that almost destroyed me with long nights and early mornings.   I was not in control of my emotions and I had no idea what depression was even tho I fell victim to it many times.    

     

    I'm going to ride my bike to work tomorrow,  and hopefully I can figure out some sort of transportation soon.  I will miss that car and its sunroof. But I'm glad that I get to find a

    new car that represents me right now.  I've grown past needing a car to prop up my self esteem. 

     

    I am successful by my own standards and I am happy in this new life.  

    • Like 3
  6. Cool.  Do you feel like you are "mostly" recovered?

     

    Close enough. Such a hard question to answer. Adderall completely blew up my life,  I'm still picking up the pieces. But I'm moving forward, I quit smoking 2 years ago today also. I've even lost some weight. In total its been 5 years since I heard the word adderall, and it put a colossal crater in my career, relationships and finances.  I am stronger from the experience. But I'm just glad its over. Tho I don't think we ever fully recover but close enough lets get on with life.  

  7. Thank you two for your input. I've been trying to quit for almost two years. The longest I've been able to stay off is almost 2 weeks. I'm on it due to narcolepsy so it makes it difficult already feeling sleepy and useless. Being sleepy I can deal with, but this lifeless zombie stuff has got to go. I keep seeing posts of people saying 6 months to a year or more and it scares me. I used to go off of it months at a time no problem and felt "normal". Aside from the damage and sudden extreme weight gain, I'm also worried about my family. All the sudden my husband of almost 20 years is married to a lazy, uninspired, fat-arse...He's being supportive, but we all have our breaking points.

     

    i've never been married but I hear, communication is key.  If you are going to quit and your relationship is going to survive your husband will need to understand  what you are going thru.  Lots of people have commented on their relationships on this forum before. Maybe start reading about how they dealt with it. 

  8. welcome to the board. I agree with HC time heals. In the early stages focus on the small wins, showering, house work, etc are huge accomplishments in the early days.  I tried a lot of nootropics, supplements etc in the early days. A  good multivitamin, a fish oil supplement, diet, exercise and a healthy routine will do wonders. You have to give those things time to work.   Adderall really messes with your brain chemistry, what you are experiencing is a re-calibration of sorts.  

    • Like 1
  9. I hear good things about Welbutrin. While taking a drug to get off a drug seems counter intuitive. I took a zoloft for a period after I quit Adderall and it was somewhat useful and in no way habit forming. I just stopped taking them one day, in fact there are some leftover in a drawer.

     

    I don't remember when the depression fog cleared for me but it did and it will for you. 

     

    Exercise, sunshine and travel are the best remedy for depression.

     

    Talk to your doctor, hopefully he isn't a drug pusher type doctor, do your own independent research. Before trying any new drug.  Sadly you can't blindly trust your doctor.  

    • Like 1
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