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Zerokewl

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  6. get a job fatso

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Sounds like a great plan!  I definitely think you'll notice a huge difference after cutting out the junk food.  I've noticed amazing improvements in the way I feel from eating all the good shit.  I used to hate it when people would talk about how your palate changes once you start consuming healthy foods, but I am actually finally getting attached to healthy food and craving it.  I really never thought that would happen, but it did.  I am finally no longer wanting junk because I realize how bad that crap makes me feel.  Anyhow, glad you are doing well and cheers to what the future brings! :)

     

    I'm also going to try reducing my meat intake.  I was raised in a rural area, so I grew up with a lot of meat.  Going to read up on this. Don't think I'll go Vegan any time soon.. I've really reduced my wheat intake, over the last few years.  Given I come from a region that has wheat on the licence plates.  Nothing is impossible. 

    • Like 1

  7. get a job fatso

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    thanks Lil Tex I think it is time I cut back on the edibles. That needs to be a once in-a-while thing again.  I've become a junk food addict and that must change.  I'm going to start doing an hour of power thing tomorrow, do something every-morning that gets my blood moving.   

     

    At close to 3 years I feel great. I'm out of bed and doing stuff I'm motivated. My energy is better and I'm making progress. If your reading this and thinking this guy still has problems. These are not Aderall issues these are just plain ole' life issues.

     

     My 3 year plan is going to be do the following 

     

        1) eat mindfully 

        2) spend at least one hour doing something physical.

        3) practice good sleeping habits. 

        4) take my new business to the next level and wind down the old one. 

     

    Things are going well. I just need to tweak a few things. 

    • Like 2

  8. I feel nothing.. and it's a terrible feeling.

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    the path off all these drugs is not an easy one. The drug companies really have designed a special kinda hell.  Year one is hard but worth it.  The whole thing is a mind fuck just get through each day. One day at a time. You won't feel like crap forever. The productivity thing is such a myth, read an essay or something you wrote on adderall. Everything I did on adderall was rubbish that I thought was so brilliant.  

    • Like 2

  9. get a job fatso

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Thanks all I'm so glad I can vent here and organize my thoughts. My dad called and we talked about it. He isn't a bad dude, he just sorta makes people crazy. It wasn't a great visit. To be fair he said I need to lose more weight, I have lost some.  After quitting smoking and stims, I gained weight pretty normal.  I am fairly active, I just eat very poorly.      My part time job makes me happy and gives me structure so good. More importantly its low stress.  I'm doing some really good work with my business i takes a long time to do stuff. But I am doing stuff so that is progress and thats what matters. 

     

    I really feel like the weed helps with some aspects of things especially depression.  I'm using edibles because smoking weed is too much like smoking.  Weed will be legal here soon so no big deal.  Moderation is key here.  Weed does help with the depression, and I've just wasted too many days in bed.  I feel like at some point I will just not need it as much, right now it helps. 

     

    In terms of organization, I will always seem more disorganized then I actually am.  I do manage.  I need to implement and stick to a system. It seems like I start a new system every other week.   I am a creative type, so professionally people don't expect miracles. 

     

    I'm almost at 3 years and well. I need to put together some objectives to lose some weight.  Actionable items and stick to it. 

  11. get a job fatso

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Thanks for responding . I really didn't mean for it to sound so negative. Some things are good, I live a pretty good life. I just want to take some actionable steps towards getting more organised. I can point to somethings that happened this year that were really really awesome. My part-time job is very low stress and makes me happy.

     

    I accept the struggle. Just need to make some progress on a few things.  I just want to identify and conquer.  For example eating like crap makes me tired.  I just need to find that balance. 

    • Like 1

  12. get a job fatso

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    This is the advice my Dad gave me on his last visit. Loose some weight, get a better job, fix your car and stop living like dirtbag.   He also continued to tell me my business was stupid.  Needless to say it wasn't a great visit.

     

    I'm not even sure where this came from. I had some set backs last year and had to borrow money from my parents. So I guess hes pissed about that. I'm not thrilled about it either. I'm working a part-time job and trying to start a business and wind one down.  

     

    I'm trying but I'm dis organised.  With really no concept of how to get organized, I make lists. I don't really have a system.  I'm broke, I ran up a lot of debt on Adderall and poor financial management. 

     

    My Dad in his fucked up way was trying to stir me to action. He's right, I eat food that makes me fat, I exercise occasionally.  I work, but I spend a lot of time procrastinating. Also I've been using weed to numb everything more and more.  

     

    I haven't been on a date in 3 years.  I'm 38 years old and can't talk to women. I've always been a late bloomer but, I haven't gotten laid in so long I maybe a virgin again. 

     

    I'm coming up on 3 years. I've made a lot of progress, and now I'm out of bed and doing stuff. But I'm encountering the issues I had that made me do adderall in the 1st place. 

     

    I feel slow. When I recovered the world changed.  I'm old, slow and fat.  I can't keep up with the millennials. I need to be more efficient. adderall clearly isn't the answer, but what is? What actionable steps can I take to.

     

    1) reduce brain fog

    2) get more done

    3) lose weight

    4) talk to girls

  17. I feel nothing.. and it's a terrible feeling.

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    it comes back slowly than quickly. You will have good days and bad days. Recovery can seem very non-linear in the beginning especially if you measure your progress day to day.   When the 1st rays of sunshine break through the clouds it is glorious. Wanting to relapse is normal at any stage, it just gets easier to tell your brain " you don't really want that, your just tired/ rejected/ hungry/ etc".   At this stage your brain chemistry is a little more normal and that will seem boring. Boring is good but if you wanna feel do something to stimulate dopamine ask out that hot barista, take up a extreme sport, take a risk get out of your comfort zone etc etc. You will feel something you just have to push. 

    • Like 4

  18. I feel nothing.. and it's a terrible feeling.

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    I listened to a lot of stuff like this when I was in early recovery. Cheesy I know, but you need to hear a positive message over and over again.  Think of it as reprogramming. Your recovery isn't about getting back to your old self. Its about making a new self. Every day you add a layer, a brick of that new person.  Over time you start to feel things again sometimes too intensely but eventually life with all its highs and lows will take over. 

     

     

    • Like 3
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