infinitya

(since this is an update, here is my first post on this forum for anyone who cares: http://forum.quittingadderall.com/topic/1401-i-cant-believe-im-posting-this) Hey guys, dunno if anyone cares (thought this might be helpful) but here's an update so far: I'm still following my cutting down schedule, and so far I've gone down from 60 mg to 50 mg a day (almost to 45). When I type the numbers, it seems like I've lessened only a minuscule amount, but I definitely feel the difference already. It's kind of surprising, actually. First off, yeah, the appetite thing is noticeable, but a few weeks ago I suddenly had this urge to start drawing and painting again. I used to be really good but after I went down the whole adderall thing, I never ever worked on my art again. I wasn't even good anymore, and I had no desire to do it because I didn't even feel creativity to create the motivation. So yeah, for the last few weeks I have been doing nothing but working on my art again and I'm so surprised at the insane shift getting off adderall is doing... I honestly didn't even connect why I made the jump back into the creativity until maybe a week ago, but it all makes sense. The hardest part is the weird withdrawal feeling. It's so difficult to describe. It's like I feel restless for no reason. Like I want to break out and do something, but I rationally know there's nothing to do. It's just this strange "trapped" or uncomfortable restlessness that is tough to deal with. But I'm writing and drawing for the first time in maybe 4-5 years or something. And I actually finish what I start too. I'm glad I have this to fall back on, because it's definitely helping the process for me. I even notice myself laughing more and being less robotic/super focused, hahaha. I am feeling less motivated to do the daily stuff and sleepier, but I was expecting all that to begin with. Anyway, hope this helps someone (I was debating on whether or not this would be interesting to even write, but who knows). I'm glad I randomly came across this site because I know in the long run I will feel better. Thanks guys

No need to apologize. I definitely get what you mean. I'm more angry with putting myself in this position out of a foolish and immature decision I made when I was younger. It just seems like I'm constantly having to destabilize my equilibrium recently. It's been a constant "quitting" phase (antidepressants and the subsequent massive depression from the withdrawal, smoking, etc) that never stays for long!

You're right, and I totally know the what you mean when you say you feel like you might have a heart attack! Honestly, the weakness/shortness of breath thing was something I didn't expect at all and has really limited my exercise/physical stuff (not that I'm particularly athletic, but still, it was impossible to do if I wanted to). Well, you guys helped me make me decision. I just got back from the doctor's after telling her my decision and started tapering down 5 mg every 2 weeks starting today! I will make sure to update. Thanks guys. I really randomly stumbled into this site and it was a good turning point. I never really confronted my own adderall use before. xoxoxo

Thanks for the posts, guys. I already read all the articles on the site, and I'm debating on whether or not to just quit cold turkey or taper off slowly (reducing by 5 mg every 2 weeks). My main question still remains about this and the weight angle though. Wouldn't tapering off extremely slowly like what I'm describing pretty much get rid of the weight gain? It would seem like the body would be able to adapt much better this way. I don't exercise but I do eat healthy. I think the adderall actually makes it harder for me to exercise, because I lose my breath very easily.

Hey guys. Before I start: I'm already assuming I'll end up writing a lot down here, and I know this thread could easily be skipped over, but please bear with me because I desperately need some guidance and insight. I'm surprised at myself for even being here, but I felt the need to reach out since I am. I started adderall xr when I was 17. I'm 21 now. Before adderall, I had my ups and downs with antidepressants from some depression I struggled with, but that's all. I don't know if I actually have anything close to ADD (I did have trouble in class with daydreaming constantly and adderall did help, but again, who knows). At the time, my main motivation for getting on it was the weight loss. I was 17 at the time and not even fat, but had bad self image and also a tiny bit of "baby fat" that I thought would never go away, so I lied my way into getting a prescription for adderall xr (30 mg/day). Shortly after, I went back and got a new script for 30 mg twice a day (one in the morning, one later in the afternoon) cause I felt it coming off later in the day and got the tired/hazy feeling without the second pill. Obviously, I did lose weight, but I never was big in the first place (the highest weight I ever was: 5'4 125 lbs, and I credit that to just being young and not losing the baby fat yet). I didn't end up scarily thin either (5'4 & 110 lb afterwards -- also, the appetite suppression thing obviously wears off if you don't keep upping the dosage, so that suppression hasn't been applicable to me for years). Anyway, from age 17 til now at 21, I'm still on the 30 mg/twice a day schedule. I don't feel a "high" or extra boost from it anymore obviously, but maintain the normal schedule to keep balanced (obviously if I just stopped one day, I would feel hazy, tired, and disoriented -- when I take it, it's just feeling "normal" and not anything like being high or hyped up). I'm 107 lb currently, but any weight loss I have had recently is from my own healthy eating habits and getting off birth control. Anyway, my point is, I'm on the stuff but just to keep normal now. I regret being stupid when I was younger and putting my body into dependance on the drug in the first place, but now I'm here. I do feel I concentrate much better in my classes since taking adderall, and haven't abused or raised my dosage since the initial time in the first few months 4 years ago. I recently quit smoking and got off birth control because I want to be as healthy and free from depending on anything outside of my own body. With my background info, do you think I should get off adderall? Like I said, I don't actively abuse it anymore and it's more of needing to maintain the equilibrium I put myself in years ago. Because I know I have self control with the stuff, I know I can taper off slowly if I wanted to. My main fear: weight gain. I am terrified of getting off and having my body plummet from the change after all my hard work in eating healthier and not crash dieting and all that crap (that I used to do when I was younger). If I have weight gain, I know myself and my issues, and it would easily trigger horrible depression with me and I feel stuck. Would tapering off very slowly (reducing by 5 milligrams every other week) negate any possible weight gain I might have? My adderall is time released (XR), so they are in capsules filled with tiny beads, so I would have to open the capsules and reduce the amount of beads in there little by little to taper off, correct? Anyway, I would be thrilled to read any insight/advice/personal results relating to my question that people give me here. After dealing with the major depression I had after getting off antidepressants a year or so ago, the task of getting off adderall seems so impossible. All that is stopping me is the weight angle. So main question -- tapering off very slowly: would it negate that side effect? But also, your advice is greatly appreciated. I'm not even sure if I should get off or not since I do notice legitimate improvements in attention years after the "high" wears off. I don't know though. For those of you who read this, THANK YOU. I pray you guys can guide me in the right direction here.