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Everything posted by lunax

  1. Today was the first time in a few months that I didn't use adderall, mostly because I started having sharp pains in my left kidney a few days ago which landed me in the hospital this morning. This may or may not have been due to the fact that I have been misusing adderall and certainly not eating or hydrating well. In any case although I am in a vegetative state right now, not taking it today has made me feel like there is still life inside of me. I ate every bite of my lunch with a sense of appreciation for all the different flavors, and it felt so good to smell my dogs breathe as she licked my face this afternoon....these are the small yet special things that don't matter when I am on adderall. I only signed up to this site a few days ago and I am so happy I did. I'm sad to see that others are struggling in the same way but glad that there is a supportive community of people on here to reach out to. I don't know what tomorrow or the day after will be like because I haven't come up with a plan yet. However I am grateful to have somewhere to come and share this experience.
  2. Binge eating...

    I can't stop! Fucking addictions and eating disorders just go hand in hand.
  3. Hi everyone! Just wanted to checkin...I miss you guys! I don't even know how long it's been since I've signed on, don't even know how long it's been since I've been adderall free but I still am! Started a new job back in February which has been really challenging without adderall but that's not even an option for me anyone. I'm also 6.5 months pregnant which has been a wonderful experience thus far. Anyway, hope you're all doing fine. xoxo
  4. Just sneaking in here to say is in under 2 weeks, I'm 4mths pregnant, stressed as hell but happy to say I'm still addy free! Sorry I don't get to post much these days but you guys are always on my mind I'll be back again soon xoxo
  5. Does anyone take Wellbutrin and L Tyrosine together? If so, I'm just curious about the doses of both of these together. I'm currently on 100mg of Wellbutrin SR which isn't doing much. 😒
  6. 20 Months Later

    Thanks for sharing. It's nice to hear success stories and see that there is light at the end of the tunnel! Congrats and keep up the good work!

    Hey my friends, just wanted to stop by and say happy holidays. Hope you are all doing great. All is well on my end just been really busy! Here is a quick update: -still addy free, going on 4mths! -accepted a new job which I will start in Feb -purchased a home in November which I haven't moved into yet because I'm slowly renovating it -my wedding in a little over a month...feb 1st And last but not least.... I am 2.5mths pregnant! I could never imagine getting through all of this without adderall, but I thank God everyday for giving me the strength to stay clean and level headed. I wish you all of the best in the upcoming year and thank you all tremendously for being such great cyber friends! I could not have gotten through the last few months without your support.

    I can't even express how proud of you I am LL. I know this was very tempting but I'm so glad you decided that half of that pill was not worth throwing away 76 days of being clean. I admire your strength! â¤ï¸

    So true. Amy don't give up. Also don't stop posting, we are all here for you. This has happened to all of us at some point. Start over whenever you're ready. But seriously don't feel ashamed or embarrassed, I'm glad you told us.
  10. Terrified of gaining weight

    Hey LilTex! How r u??? Thanks for checking in. I'm doing good...still addy free. The wedding is February 1st and I'm surprisingly calm mostly because I have a lot of support. I often wonder how neurotic and crazy id be if I were still using. I also can't help but day dream about how much of my to-do list would be done by now. But oh well this is still the life I prefer living over being strung out on addy all day every day. I had my first dress fitting last week and I'm definitely not at a weight that I love. But I'm not going to be high on my wedding day, and in the end that's the most important thing.
  11. I’ve always had issues with my weight and quitting now (5 mths till my wedding) seems too risky for me because I know I will put on 10lbs and hate myself for it. A day off of adderall is a day of binge eating for me. Also, every time I stop taking it its like my GI system completely shuts down which makes me gassy and bloated (tmi, I know). P.S I am also taking 100mg of Wellbutrin SR, which doesn’t do shit. Any advice on the weight gaining issue?

    That is truly wonderful Amy, how are u feeling?

    I miss posting here this week. How are you my friends?

    My therapist (not my prescribing doctor) told me to think of those thoughts (the ones where we are triggered to use) as clouds. Notice the cloud, recognize that it's there, and then watch it pass until it's gone. This little exercise has really helped me.

    I agree with this Justin. I feel like we have a little family here so maybe we should make it a more generalized forum that we can all participate in.
  16. A few questions...

    In that case, you need to cut him off!

    I love it...i think I might start up an IPledge-Yoga
  18. Binge eating...

    Thanks for sharing. These are great tips and I seriously need to practice #2. I had to get off Wellbutrin recently and since then I've been binging like crazy. inevitably food is my 1st drug of choice.
  19. A few questions...

    I didn't break ties with my doc because she's a good doc who prescribed in moderation, unlike some of the others I had in the past who were practically spoon feeding me adderall. I also see her to manage my anti depressant medication so there was no need to cut her off. I did however make it clear to her during our last session that I was becoming addicted to adderall and had decided to stop taking it. She was actually glad that I did and hasn't even brought it up since.
  20. A few questions...

    Hi Amy, I'm just curious, are you planning to quit smoking while simultaneously quitting adderall? Although I support both of these things just make sure you're not taking on too much at the same time. I smoked for 12yrs and quit 4yrs ago this January. I've always had very clear skin, but while I was quitting cigs I had bad breakouts and my entire body felt like it shutdown for like two weeks. I definitely think i was just flushing out all of the toxins during this time hence why I felt like complete shit. I'm still struggling with #3 myself, I actually just went on the most important job interviews of my life yesterday and kept forgetting what I was talking about mid sentence. Embarrassing and Frustrating to say the least! I think my continued use and abuse of adderall fried a shit load of my brain cells but I'm optimistic about the fact that my brain will slowly but surely heal itself. Anyway keep up the good work, I have a good feeling that you'll be sticking around here for a while!