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Everything posted by JustinW

  1. Work anxiety...and relationships

    I know it's tough, but you can do it! You have so many good things going for you right now; focus on them. Keep fighting the good fight.
  2. So painful

    Welcome to the forum! When I was stepping myself down, I took 2 weeks per step (5 mg increments) but I took 4 weeks for one of my steps because it was really bad. We are all here to help each other and we all have good days and bad days.
  3. I removed and replaced all of the zip ties in our server rack, distribution wall, and phone system with velcro straps and then got a Dymo printer and labelled everything in the room to excess. All of this started because I had to troubleshoot a voice line. Does that count?
  4. There's Always Hope

    Thank you for sharing your story and congratulations on being clean for 3 months!
  5. addiction

    I will admit that my discussion about cravings is an over simplification. My desire for Adderall is for the effects whereas my desire for cigarettes was/is for the tactile sensations.
  6. Almost at 8 months - mixed bag of emotions

    I understand the flat feeling. I find myself feeling at peace with losing my job, house, or even my life (not in a suicidal way). I try to write it off as being content but I'm not sure that it isn't just the withdrawl screwing with my head. I used to find myself recharged after a vacation and ready to get back to work, even before the Adderall. Now there isn't a vacation long enough to get energized or enthused about my job. I think that you are falling into the same pit of self criticism that I, and many others, are guilty of getting into. Fight the funk! This poem always seems to boost my moral, maybe it will help you too? Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by: Dylan Thomas Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night. Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  7. Confidence -

    Truely a great woman and role model
  8. 8 Months Sober, Couldn't be happier

    Congratulations! Hearing your story is an answer to prayer this morning as I am at that 6 month point and still having a bit of a rough time. I needed this post. Hopefully your story will be my story soon!
  9. addiction

    It is a nasty thing to get hooked on, think about how bad it is for you and how bad it will be for the little one to be hooked on it too! I told my pharmacist to throw away my prescriptions and I pray for the strength to throw away the rest of my pills some day in the near future. I quit smoking over 10 years ago and I suppose that Adderall addiction is similar in that the cravings never go away completely but are dulled over time. Keep up the good work; we are all here for the same reason and we are all here to support each other because we know what it is like to start and continue this journey back to our true selves.
  10. My story so far

    Thank you Brandy, and what really surprised me is that the term "heartless bastard" was used quite frequently but hasn't surfaced once since quitting. "Asshole" still gets thrown around on occasion though. Weekends are really tough for me because I don't have a structured schedule; does anyone else have that problem? I was supposed to fix the oil leak on my car, kill weeds, and fix my soffits this weekend. I fixed the car and then got distracted teaching the kids how to play golf for the rest of Saturday and Sunday. I have always been this way except for when I was on Adderall. I blamed the Adderall for a long time, believing that I wasn't this way before taking it but that was a lie.
  11. Day one: feeling grateful (and tired)

    I would say "Flush The pills" also but I would be a hypochrite. I still haven't been able to complete that step in the process myself and I am just a little past 6 months.
  12. Admitting I have a problem...

    Be sure to build a really strong support network when you go off to help you develop good coping skills and ensure your success in quitting. A therapist is a great tool to have in the toolbox. The first month is the worst and after two weeks you will be halfway there; it could be a good time to kick it. Don't torture yourself more than necessary.
  13. Going back on.

    You can do without the Adderall, but it will take a ton of self discipline to get things done. If that isn't an option then you should at least have an exit strategy to get off the pills eventually.
  14. Feeling down? Getting a craving? CLICK HERE!

    Socialize - take a walking tour around your office and find out what is happening in other peoples' lives.
  15. Going back on.

    I have the same feelings and thoughts as Workingthroughit and Sebastian. This is not an easy road to hoe and I keep romanticizing the time that I was on Adderall. This drug LIES!!! Make a couple of lists and keep them on your person at all times: List #1: Major Accomplishments before and after Adderall List #2: Things I like about me when I am not taking Adderall. It took quite a bit of introspection and reading other people's lists to figure out how I was really different off the meds. I even had to discuss the list with my wife to help me figure out somethings, like being a better dad off them. I find these two things very helpful on my bad days; but yeah, I am really sucking at work too lately. Hopefully it's true what others have said and we are being harder than ourselves about work than the true reality of the matter, and that it will get better soon.
  16. Want to quit but need help!

    Thanks for the update, keep up the good work!
  17. Going Through Changes

    Usually means Original Poster or Original Post
  18. Going Through Changes

    Reading your OP pushed me into finally joining the forum. Thank you for sharing it.