Rth3806

Ok so I told her last night. I had it planned to talk to her but it didn't go the way I wanted I was in the shower and she walked in with my pills and was like can you explain these? So I got out of the shower and let her read this thread. At first she was about half way down and I saw her getting mad. Bt when she was finished she got real emotional and told me shed be here every step of the way. She was so supportive. We talked for a while about it and everything was good. It really lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. Thanks for all your support guys and I know I can do this. There is no other option. Thanks again all.

Ugh I've my gf is home now and I don't think I can do it. It's going to be a lot. My life is going to come to a screeching halt after I tell her. If she stays by my side for this, which im planning on, she will make sure that it gets taken care of. And I need that. She's stronger than me in that department. I give in to temptation to easily. But then It'll start my decent off adderall which is going to be absolutely miserable. Im planning on 2 months its going to take to start feeling better. A month of it is going to be spent home in my bed. It's going to be depressing and lonely. I'm going to miss out on a lot of money with my work. Since I own my own business I am prepared to lose some customers as I can't tell them I'm addicted to prescription pills. I'm pretty much going to be MIA to everyone for a while. People like to judge and I carry a name around town. I'm a reputable trustworthy business man and can not let that get ruined. But the way things are going if I don't put an end to this now I'm going to end up having a damn heart attack. I took 300mg today. I'm not a tweaker. I sleep I eat just like normal. Bt that's the problem. It takes me that much to feel normal. It's starting to scare me. Especially feeling how I did this morning trying to stop cold turkey. Unbearable. Thanks again for listening.

Ya man. I'm taking adderall just to fight off withdrawals at this point. I'm up to 260mg today and I feel normal. Not high not low just normal. I'm formulating a plan to slowly come off with the pills I have left.

So I didn't take any adderall as of yesterday morning. Yesterday was ok, a little sluggish but tolerable. But this morning, holy hell, It was unbearable. There is absolutely no way I can do it cold turkey. I'm going to sit my gf down tonight and I'm going to tell her. I have to. After feeling what I felt this morning I'm super scared. I won't be able to do this alone and I'm praying shell understand. Thanks for all the input everybody. It means a lot knowing I have support out there. I'll keep u posted.

I am really happy I found this site. I thought I was alone on this. Ive read article after article and its just insane how many people feel or have felt the same way. This drug is god awful. I've never really messed with petscroptiom pills or drugs for that matter. I'm a strong minded person In every other aspect of life. But when it comes to this, I'm a Sucker. I know everyday I'm wrong, I know what I'm doing and I know where the road will eventually lead, but I continue. The physical and phsycological bearing adderal has over me is more powerful than anything I've ever felt in my 25 years of existstance. I can't believe I let it get this out of control. I have 90 20mgir pills left and 10 30 mg ir left. That's about a weeks worth. I think I'm gonna try to drag it out 2 weeks and stop. In the next two weeks I will find a way to tell her what's going to happen and Im going to give it another try. I'm gonna end up dying from this shit if I don't. Once taken to enhance my life now it's threatening to take my life. Only in about 2 years time too. Sick shit. I've been taking. 200+mg a day for about I'd say 6 months now. Anyone have any experiences coming off of dosages like this?

When we first met I knew I was in loge with her. I needed to know of I felt the same off adderall and it gave me motivation to stop. So I did. I slept for 2 dys straight, was extremely fatigued and didn't communicate well with her. She was dxtremely turned off and I almost lost her. To save my relationship I went back on. I told her that I was tking meds for my ADHD and I was stopping and I just needed those cpl days to recover. Day 3 or 4 I got more pills and told her withdrawls were over and I was of the drugs. Since then I have taken everyday. We have grown so close and out relationship is so pure I'm afraid to lose that. I don't know I I can handle losing her and quittin these evil pills. I hope she understands cause I'm going to have to tell her.

I've never lied to my gf....ever. Not even a little white lie. We are so open and so honest with each other it's just perfect. She is going to be hurt when I tell her. And what we have that is so perfect is going to be fractured. Once it's fractured it can never be repaired. And it's going to be because of me. It's really tough

I completely agree with you 110%. I know action needs to be taken if I want to move forward. I feel like I'm treading water so to speak. Eventually I'm gonna burn out and drown. The only way to move one step forward is to start by taking 5 steps back. I guess I'm just scared. It's easier the way things are now. Once I make these changes and put myself all in I know things are going to get really really bad. Everything in my life will be effected and I'm nervous it may be so bad I may not be able to come out of it. I'm putting my work and my relationship at risk, the two most important things in my life besides myself. It's really hard to make that move knowing I could somehow lose both. The worst case scenario is just way to much for me to handle. Of course I can start over, get a new gf and build business back up. I won't have the energy or drive to do that for a long time, I will mud up my name and it will just seem too overwhelming. I don't know what is do at that point. That's why I'm seeking any sort of advice, tips, remedies, secrets. Anything I can do or try before resorting to putting all that at risk. I've tried stopping cold turkey cause that is the only way for me to avoid temptation. I drink numerous red bulls 5 hr energys and coffee all day and I barely get any effects. I obv can't stop until I tell my gf what's going on or else she's going to see me on my death bed and be taken by surprise.

It's tough. Of course I could take some time away from work if it meant getting healthy again. But from past experience and taking smaller dosages the withdrawals were terrible. They were do terrible people thought I was on drugs when really it was the opposite. People wonder why im acting different. It's scary almost how bad it was. Now taking over 200mg a day which is double when I first tried to stop I can only imagine. It's going to take at least 30 days of misery and rest to start feeling better to work again I know if. I can't take a month of work. Especially right now during my busy season. I feel so unhealthy, my feeling are all synthetic. I feel like a fake and a cheater. But every day that goes by I still wake up in the morning and throw back 60-80mg in one shot. Before I even wipe the crust out of my eyes or even take a morning piss, I got right for my bottle. It's disgusting. Thanks for letting me vent on here and the response. I haven't told anybody. Everybody thinks I'm ok and deep down I'm crying for help. I'm afraid my girlfriend, the only person I truly care about will be devestated and angry with me I've hid this from her as we have a real open relationship. I'm stuck

I can say 100% now that taking and becoming terribly addicted to adderall ruined my life professionally and socially. I the past year and a half I have lost a girlfriend of 6 years, many friends, family and tons of $. I build swimming pools for a living and have my own business. I started taking adderall every once and a while when I had strenuous work days to help me through. I would take one 20mg xr and is be set. A year and a half later I take sometimes over 200mg Ir a day, everyday. I'm being self destructive as the things I love and cherish start slipping away from me. I know I need to stop and I wish I could. I can't. The worst part is nobody knows. I'm currently with a new girlfriend of 6 months and even she doesn't know. Everyone just thinks I work alot. Every now and then I get severe panic attacks. Or if I run out I slip into a deep depression. So deep that I sometimes think about killing myself. I never would but its sick the thought passes through my mind. I feel myself killing my body. No sleep no food tons of cigarettes. I've tried stopping many of times. Cold turkey and gradually. I just can't do it. At this rate this time next year ill be up to 500mg a day. I know the only choice I had is to go to rehab but I can't do that either. Any other remedies on quitting slowly?