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I totally agree with JustinW.

I didn't "get it" the whole addiction thing. For almost my whole life it just didn't make sense to me. Why don't the people just get the strength and stop? I never realized the physical and mental withdrawal/depression was so strong. Seeing comments recently about this actor dying got under skin as well. Chances are I might have been one of the people throwing stones even a year ago. I too wouldn't wish addiction on my worst enemy even being someone that abused for a shorter period that most on here. I don't think you're ever out of the woods with addiction and it's unfortunate and scary. As much as NA/AA isn't my thing{maybe not just yet}, I'm still glad it exists for those that huge amount of people that do.

You're not alone with the multivitamin/sleep problem{non-Gnc}. I gave it 3 tries and never again. Got a total of zero hours of sleep.

No problem. You'll have ups and downs but the ups will always follow no matter how unimaginable they may seem at the time.

As a friend you never met, I hope you would try any other means besides a stimulant.{Hypnosis, meditation, yoga, exercise}. Like someone said previously- "no one plans to become addicted " Once your brain recognizes that "good feeling" it can't turn the clock back and forget without going through the hell that a lot of us have been through. My good feeling kept me calm and at peace while my world around me I just let collapse. I'm towards the very lower end of time on/abusing and I feel like I went through depression/hell not to mention financial ruins. You really can do it without this junk. It was only a few months for me using and then abusing, but it's really fcked my life up.

Couldn't agree more. I have a history of depression and anxiety. Im not saying that I don't haven't always had adhd symptoms, but once I started adderall all of the bad stuff SEEMED to have gone anyway. It took distorted what reality actually was and i needed more to continue to feel "good". Eventually you find out the hard way that what problems you left are still at day one and you feel them 10x more. I never used them for school purposes, but being an older fart I just wanted to have a brain that worked normal and not scattered. Hind sight is always 20/20. Take it from someone that doesn't drink or "do drugs". This stuff can have you hooked sooooooo fast. Part of me thinks I was hooked from the first pill{low dose}. The cons outweigh the pros 100/1. It stinks people have to find out the hard way. But I guess that's why were here-to learn, support or warn.

I thought I was the only that got the shaft from Melatonin. Seems like once it wears of you're shit out of lucky trying to get back to sleep unless you have something else up your sleeve{or in your system}.

Thank you. Keep it goin...

40 days adderall free(including today)

This is a pretty blunt and honest board. Being with someone that uses or abuses is going to make it remarkably difficult to stop. I'm just being honest, but it will make chances of recovery 50x harder than it has to be. Please take that respectfully.

No one is here to pressure you. You come clean when you're ready. I found that reading stories and venting/bitching helped me.

There are plenty of people on here that live and relate to your life. Can you get back to life and be adderall free? Absolutely. It's going to be a process and there will be lots of lows before highs , but you can do it. It doesn't sound like your if the paper is your reason not to stop now but that's just my 2 cents. When you're ready there are plenty of us here to help. I was looking for the nearest cliff last week but I'm not this week. Stick around and read stories. I can tell you one thing for sure. You're not alone at all in your abuse, depressions etc etc

For starters are you taking it as prescribed, abusing, not prescribed at all? Quitting is all about whether you want to or not regardless of life circumstance{school, work, high, depression etc}.

Congrats!!!!!!

Welcome to the forum. Consider this your space to vent-be yourself. Find out the true reasons you use and why you keep getting pulled back. If you're truthful with yourself it will at least be a guide. No one will force you to stop or pressure you here. I learned my vices are depression, anxiety and being lonely. Im just giving my 2 cents. It's not easy to stop, but it can be done if you really want to. If you read more, you will find out why your "happy" brain chemicals aren't working so well if at all. Just browse around here. Today might not be your day to quit, but you will defintely learn A LOT and it will help when you are ready to quit.

I totally relate 100% to Lucky. I don't feel i fit in at AA/NA. I did like the cookies though. I feel like we kind of fall between the cracks. Even stuff like the timing of meetings etc is so off{at least for me they are}. Having anxiety issues doesn't help the cause. It is very good that there is support like this group. We have our up days/weeks and our shit ones too. For Robin-keeping an open line of communication with your husband is great and will probably be your rock to stay clean.

Like Quit said, even family is an issue for me. Maybe even more than friends etc. So in a nutshell no reason to feel alone. There are plenty of us that share that common unfortunate bond, but i still hope you push forward and don't give up.

You are definitely not alone in that department. I can make a mental processes into 100 parts to take out the garbage. I feel your pain. I often wonder what others think of me when they see my car parked and don't see me for days sometimes. I used to be a socialite, I'm just not there yet. Maybe someday...

Good for you. Im glad to hear positivity and good things coming out of this for you.

I wouldn't like to be on meds either, but I just started yesterday and hoping that some good relief comes soon. Thank you for your nice words.

Will check this out. Thank you, Lucky

Thank you for the replies. Still waiting on the doc for a call back.

Yes, I just left a message with my doctor. I would eat gravel if it helped.

The depression/anxiety is unbearable for me right now. In my whole life it has never been to this extent. I'm trying to keep in my mind that it will get better. Mine hit without warning. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

You got through another day without them. Whatever it takes for you to stay clean, keep doing it. Sitting around without any motivation is given when you stop this stuff. Your brain is healing and learning to function without the aid of a legally prescribed stimulant. Adderall had the opposite effect on me and made me EXTREMELY physically lazy but mentally all I was doing was challenging myself. What actual physical work I needed to get done was completely neglected. Im lucky my ass didn't become glued to my chair from sitting on it so long reading for endless hours and "feeling" more intelligent. If I stick it through and don't look for the easy fix I think it will work out. I've seen all my negative patterns and things to be address-almost like a check list. Some days are better than others and some just are horrific, but at least I don't have to base my life and thoughts around my so called miracle pill.