Jump to content
QuittingAdderall.com Forums

Stephalopolus

Members
  • Posts

    1
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Stephalopolus

  • Birthday 12/16/1986

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Massachusetts

Stephalopolus's Achievements

Newbie

Newbie (1/4)

4

Reputation

  1. I am absolutely terrified of quitting. I need about 80mg of Vyvanse just to get of off empty and get myself dressed and even thinking about attempting ANYTHING. I was on adderall from 14 until 20years old. Stopped for two years,where by I developed the most uncontrollable binge eating disorder that I actually struggled with before the first adderall since I was probably years old- another addiction that consumed my existence and denied me any hope for happy functionality. This time, accompanied by bulimia and terrible ADD symptoms. I then resolved to get on Vyvanse around age 22, thinking it would be less addictive. Im 27 now and right where I was with the adderall. Bad idea. I can't believe I fell into that trap again. The Vyvanse is even WORSE. Atleast with adderall I could take breaks. I have to take this stuff everyday. I already do THE BARE MINIMUM IN LIFE. And I feel like life demands SO MUCH OF ME, and I am not up for the challenge.I just moved back in with my mother, I have been living independently for the past 9 years. I just cant function and work enough to pay my bills. I realize that productivity is an illusion. I go to school part time at a community college, where they basically ask Nothing of you. I still cant finish assignments or show up to class, or keep my living space in any dignified order. Like rotting food and trash on the floor chaos. 80mg of VyVanse and the compromise of my personailty for THIS?! The only thing I have to say is that I am able to be in school, and read with less trouble, and I have tried everything to give me some repose from binge eating, and this is the longest ive gone without binge eating. Pretty much since i've gotten on the stuff. I am almost done with classes and assignments for this semester, I am planning to detox off this shit. I did for 4 days this summer. I drove 3 hours up to maine with my bf and purposely didnt pack my vyvanse, because my resolve lasts about 2 hours when I have access to the stuff to not take it. I slept the whole time, over ate, but on the 4th morning I woke up at 8am like a normal person and that is something that is totally foreign to me. Of course, that was the day I was heading home and I took it the next day. I just dont really believe that I can do it. 13 years, this stuff has been in my life. I feel like its hopeless. I'm already so sluggish and depressed, I don't know if I can bare to add this coming off to it. I do have a juicer, and looked into Gerson therapy a while ago to get off meds. I havent been able to find much about what to juice coming off amfetamenes. I just really need alot of support, because I feel so alone. I belong to a 12 step fellowship where most of my contacts have had a past with alcohol or heroin. I know its the same, but its different too. I need people to understand the motivation predicament. Thanks. -Stephanie
×
×
  • Create New...