Frank B

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About Frank B

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  1. Today is a good day !

    Well got a call from a company who was interested in hiring me and buying my business . They want me to do a 30 day trial see how it works out for us on both ends. Think this is what I've been waiting for man it's raining here today but for me suns shining!
  2. Today is a good day !

    So far not making money today but dammit I feel good! Took kid to school got the gym had a good work out. Last night my bb team played out of their damn minds now heading to the elite 8 tournament this weekend! Just thought I'd share since I share too many bad days lol. Maybe if I'd focus less on how much money I'm not making everyday and being happy the money will come my way.
  3. How many of us are 100% ADD ?

    Unlike the ability to say what blood type you are the labeling of ADD seems to be in the eye of the beholder.
  4. See a lot of different post on here regards to having ADD and some of us just telling the doctor what they want to hear. I don't know how to make a poll but if someone does maybe you can. For myself I'm not really sure I might have had slight ADD always struggled in school etc but I knew also what to say. I'm just curious long term how recovery is different from those of us who knew for fact they were ADD , those who weren't sure and those who knew they weren't but faked the symptoms to get this drug.
  5. Well is this really a shock to people? I mean you get hooked on heroin they give you fucking methadone then your hooked on that. Truth is rehab is a money making business your best interest is not always really a concern. I recall when I had my breaking point and wanted to be seen immediately I was denied by everybody. How do people actually think addicts going to get better if they have to wait a two weeks just to see someone. I even walked into a Salvation Army rehab I was desperate some rude ass lady over the intercom kept yelling "What you want!" People at a breaking point need help that day but it's not available I guess unless you go 5150 I felt like it but knew I could not afford a trip to the hospital. All this when Obama was president now shits only gonna get worse cutting funding for all programs to line the pockets of the rich. People who don't see how fucked we are just being blind . I mean seriously cutting off after school programs for inner city because grades aren't better? We are going to have more drug addicts in America soon shits hitting the fan glad I'm off addy I would probably be out of control with all this bs.
  6. I need to stop!

    Thanks for coming back. Although quitting sucks even at a year for most I've yet to see anyone give in and be happy with their decision. I've been at a big crossroad in my life with career etc I seem to blame my inability to make a decision because I'm not on adderall and not motivated. But truth is these problems have been coming for along time in part because I was so doped out on addy. It takes a very strong person to quit even stronger to quit again I've tried and failed twice but now on the longest stretch of I think 15 months now (damn this site for taking our tickers away!) . I would suggest while your still on it write a couple times in a journal or whatever why you want to be off it so bad. Save those for your weak days when you feel like giving up. What I've noticed is the further away I go from my stop date the less I look back on the negative sides of adderall and looked at what I accomplished on it. Not gonna lie did some amazing things on it often wonder "Who was that guy?". But the side I forget was somone waking up everyday taking a pill then could feel my heart race like I just ran a marathon or sometimes being up all night and pissed seeing the sun come up because I knew the days reality of family work was ahead. I just wanted to be by myself working on my projects all the time.
  7. Have you tried a Gluten free diet? My cousin had all sorts of weird shit wrong with her but after a month or so off it she was normal for the first time. It's not just for diets has something to do with your body rejecting gluten. Also last time u posted similar question I suggested maybe seeing a chiropractor u never replied. I think with something rare doctors can't figure out I'd be open to pretty much anything that could possibly help. Again I really hope you find a answer sure it's driving you crazy but don't think it's addy related.
  8. I would google the hell out of it sure your not the only one maybe blood pressure related not sure. It seems unlikely after 2 years would be adderall side effect but u never know I guess good luck.
  9. Day 65 Severe Depression Kicks In

    At 3 months heck yes I was! It's gotten a little better but my biggest issue now is ambition direction I feel lost. I think if you tell yourself constantly that you have a heart problem you might actually get one by telling yourself you do. Feel that's my own issue in recovery keep telling myself I have issues with drive ambition motivation is because I stopped adderall. If I can overcome my own thoughts I might be maybe free it's hard to do if I'm successful at it I'll let you what worked. But if you really feel your heart problem is not in your head for sure go get seen asap.
  10. Day 65 Severe Depression Kicks In

    I abused the heck out of this drug for years and knock on wood my heart seems to be fine. Do you exercise or go to a gym? If so do you check your heart rate on the machines? That might be a good place to start but I'm no doctor but for me that's how I judged where my heart was at. I never had a constant rash but sometimes when I was dehydrated from non stop adderall abuse my neck and face sort sort of broke out in a rash. I feel the physical side effects of adderall go away pretty quickly at least for me but the mental side smh goes on a lot longer. At 3 months I was still seeing a therapist and it helped if I could still afford to see one I never would have stopped. Hope you feel better the struggle is real!
  11. 10 months and counting!

    Yes I can make a very good living working normal hours. Problem is self motavation to promote my business like I did in the past. I'm more of a wait until they call me approach which is not productive. Glad your husband is able to get by at work you may ask him really how is it going. For me at 15 months it's really hard to accept I have not got back on track where I want to be. Feel like that's a big reason many on here have been clean for months relapse. It's getting semi better but it's a very very slow process.
  12. 10 months and counting!

    Yes I can make a very good living working normal hours. Problem is self motavation to promote my business like I did in the past. I'm more of a wait until they call me approach which is not productive. Glad your husband is able to get by at work you may ask him really how is it going. For me at 15 months it's really hard to accept I have not got back on track where I want to be. Feel like that's a big reason many on here have been clean for months relapse. It's getting semi better but it's a very very slow process.
  13. 10 months and counting!

    How is he doing at work? That's the big part of the problem we all struggle with sure we can enjoy life again but have trouble enjoying life when we really don't care to put in the work it takes to enjoy those things. That's my biggest issue can't focus or get the drive needed to enjoy life because I'm not making the money it takes, barely paying my bills maybe since I'm self employed it's just harder feel at times I should give up my business and have a boss to hold me accountable then again if I get my self motavation back I might really regret letting go of something I built for 14 years. It's been really hard for me to know what I should do. Sorry made this about myself I'm just curious on how people do with work off addy.
  14. I have no problem reading in fact read more now vs on adderall. But doing a lot of things like for instant doing some drywall repairs today take a lot longer and I must force myself to do it. On addy that stuff was fun and did it a lot faster. I totally gutted my house on addy remodeled loved it now just doing minor stuff is a challenge and that sucks I hope this gets better. Not to say it hasn't gotten better. When I first stopped addy I watched a lot of tv and read books on rehabilitation addictions etc. Tell your husband force yourself to be held accountable if you go into this lukewarm you will fail. Good luck!