Frank B

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Everything posted by Frank B

  1. Sober November

    Well just update of overall shit lol. Anyways one thing I’m noticing not wanting to drink much is suddenly my interest in watching sports dropped big time after all what to do if not drinking while watching games of young athletes living glory you never had or will have. Don’t get me wrong I still watch my local teams but if I miss a couple of their games I don’t care as much. My workouts have been getting harder, off the daily booze I have more intensity but also it could be to my change in diet. Ok I’ve been a big fan of keto was basically on it about maybe 1.5yrs. But reading more and looking at my lifestyle decided to stop and bring some carbs back in and reduce the fat intake. Carbs being mostly rice and sweet potatoes nearly daily. I’m not eating fries or chips unless it’s skip day which now is more of a cheat meal not a entire day. I was tracking my calories and learned I was in a calorie deficit. So now I’m eating normally good sized meal 3 sometimes 4 times a day with a protein shake every meal with some carbs, veggies and lean protein meat. Being off the keto I really do appreciate that diet it does work far as loosing weight and food was great. But if your hitting the gym 5-6 times a week it can drain you. I seem to have more energy now. So it’s hard to know what’s been better the new diet or cutting off the nightly buzz but I’m going to keep doing what’s working. Plus I feel a lot better my kids don’t see dad having a couple of beers every other night. Hopefully they will recall when older dad ate healthy worked out almost daily and drank occasionally. They are a big reason I quit addy did not want them to see me pop pills everyday to be productive and now I’m continue to grow and be a better role model.
  2. I didn’t read it all but if he’s still gone probably best think it’s more than just adderall but it’s certainly a big factor.
  3. Early Warning Signs

    If I worked for someone else right now I’d probably bring in about the same amount of pay but work double the hours. So you can make good money working for someone else, just more work. If I had more buisness smarts I’d probably be making a lot more but that’s just me. I’m fine where I’m at maybe once I’m totally over this post addy fog I may get more ambitious to grow but right now can’t handle that pressure and I’m paying all my bills so I’m happy. If I was to ever quit my company I’d for look into going Union they make very good money plus killer benefits with retirement packages. The bad side is the pay sort of sucks to starts union or not but with time it gets better. Huge shortage of younger techs in this field so if you want job security would be something worth looking into.
  4. Early Warning Signs

    I jumped right in knew it was probably horrible for me but was so thrilled I could work non stop didn’t care. I basically remodeled my entire house on that stuff. But recall I was so fixiated I lost friends they came over we’re supposed to go out and I was doing tile in my bathroom at like 9pm on a friday this was still in my later 20’s. Pretty soon the phone calls to hang stopped I was a full blown workaholic for about a decade. Accomplished a lot I don’t regret all of it but sure did miss a lot of life with all my projects. I’m not your typical academic scholar taking it to cram on midterms. I was using to run my hvac buisness, remodel flip homes and restore old pinball games basically I never slept just work work work. Now I’m 3 years clean I love to sleep now. I still like my job but the remodeling and game repair stuff stopped. My main hobby now is health working out and eating right maybe some would say a little obsessed but now I make time for family friends and sleep for sure. It’s been very hard but I had no choice Little doubt I’d be dead if I never stopped. I was so messed up I was planning a suicide to end the madness because never thought I could actually quit.
  5. Sober November

    Feel good wouldn’t say life changing but here is the positive. My little pouch belly has gotten flatter lost about 3lbs, even with a strict diet working out nearly everyday a few miller lites will keep you from ever getting a 6 pack at least at age 40 and I’m getting close to having one. I know it’s kind of a d bag goal but never had one so going for it why not. Also a lot less peeing it’s like soon as my lips taste beer I gotta pee all damn night and all morning so not dealing with that is nice. Not relying on it every night to relax just learning to cope without it. I did drink on Thanksgiving but I also ran a 5k in the morning played flag football after I felt I deserved it dammit. I only drank 2-3 beers entire day did not drink to get a buzz did not crave getting a buzz either just enjoyed the beer. I feel moving forward drinking will be a occasional treat having with a weekend cheat meal. Far as more energy focus to be honest haven’t noticed much difference but sure it’s helping in some ways.
  6. I bought some cbd oil you put under your tongue about a week ago. Feel it’s really helped some with anxiety/ depression and with some body aches I always have. Highly recommended giving it a try it does not get you high no thc but gives all the other benefits of cannabis. Also think it’s helped with the urge to drink as I’m doing a sober November.
  7. Relapse

    Sean I know right around the 2nd year I was actually calling around to find psychiatrist. Part of me was just saying I’ll be open to suggestions but I knew the real reason, I wanted to get back on adderall. I actually ended up calling someone off here who changed my mind so I never made that appointment. If you’d like message me I’ll give you my number. I dont have all the answers but be glad to help anyway I can sometimes it’s best to talk it out.
  8. 30 Days! (But Now What?)

    It seems odd I’m now the “old guy” with a son 18 I started young just now hitting 40. Think younger generations now are not making the same mistakes mine did as often having children before they are ready yet for all the problems it does make one is forced to grow up. How I got into adderall when he was in second grade my son was given a prescription to help him focus in school. It totally made him into someone else no happiness or sadness sort of a zombie. I thought what is this like I’m gonna try it myself see what it could be doing. Well I loved it but thought it was way too harsh for a second grader. So I got him off it then went and got my own prescription and that started me on the road of 10 years of addiction. It was a stupid choice I knew it was bad for my child yet thought the benefits it gave me of superhuman motivation was worth the bad side effects.
  9. 30 Days! (But Now What?)

    Congrats on 30days! If I did not have my own buisness when I first quit probably would have been fired. So it’s really hard to judge at this point what your going to do. I don’t know how old you are but guessing mid 20’s? If so your not alone see so many young people sort of lost, a little college and part time jobs no set career. I’d give it time just focus on quitting if your lucky enough to have that luxury. My oldest son is graduating high school this year although he’s not big on studying he feels just going to college will get him a job afterwords. That’s true if you know why your going for but this bs taught in high schools schools you just go to college and just land a big paying career afterwords is garbage and I tell him that. Personally I went to trade school best thing I ever did. I’m not saying he must go that route but if he really does not like to study or have any goals in mind going to college I feel is a waste. Too meet new people maybe join a gym or do a little volunteer work in your community. Seems like visiting Israel will be something to keep you occupied and mind off addy for awhile good luck on the trip.
  10. My Story So Far, 191 Days Clean

    Definitely hang in next week I’ll hit the three year mark and things improving a lot. Think out of all three people that quit when I did on here I might have had a longer time to really get back to a new normal. Might have been how long I took addy and how much plus I was abusing pain pills. But regardless yes coming into year three things are getting so much better. The start of year two I would not have said that.
  11. Sounds like some major side effects and your heart definitely at risk. Sad your “doctor” heard you concerns and gave you a higher dosage. Feel honestly these jerks should be legally liable for creating speed junkies. We all took this to be our best but in the end does the opposite. The good thing is your very new to this only two years so likely your recovery period should take less time but does not mean at all it will be easy. So you know it’s literally killing you it’s obviously not the answer to your problems hope you choose to stop sooner va later. Just look at it a small phase of your life that’s in the past don’t beat yourself up too bad. Yes life goes on without it will folding socks, cleaning house or reading a instruction manual give you euphoria after you stop? No it won’t but it’s fake your never able to enjoy real things in life that should bring you happiness when doing busy work gives you a rush.
  12. Long timer checking in.

    Congrats we started same time along with Bluemoon know she’s been doing good also pretty cool all 3 of us made it.
  13. 5 days clean feeling hopeful but tempted

    Congrats on 5 days! For most people I’d say take a month or two off eat whatever don’t worry about work outs take it easy then dive into those challenges. If your livelyhood depends on appearance and u can’t take time off then you’ll have to get on the ball with a game plan with a healthy way to control your appetite. Become friends with apple cider vinegar it helps, also like I mentioned before consider a keto diet. It would be best though if you could just let yourself go a month and just focus on stopping the meds. Just consider at some point your gonna have to quit for good and really no time is the right time always something will be going on in your life where you feel it’s a need.
  14. Sober November

    I had weed this summer on float trip this summer for the first time in a long time. I basically sat and said nothing for hours totally paranoid. Stuffs a lot more potent these days not for me lol. But believe it should be legal everywhere such hypocrisy alcohol which can literally kill u if over consumer is legal but pot still is not. Let alone the medical multiple benefits. So far just 5 days in feeling a little more energy even though never drank to falling down drunk but think the 2-3 beer buzz from before dinner I’ve grown accustomed too every other day was getting too much. If you do intermittent fasting u know that’s usually a very solid buzz also lol. From what I’ve read it’s pretty counterproductive drinking before u eat the body is focused with breaking down alcohol alllowing more fat to be stored from the food so also this may help me with my fitness goals as well.
  15. Triggers

    In my opinion being healthy looking good post addy is the most obtainable goal to achieve. But I’ve never had a real bad eating disorder not male model so hard for me to judge if that’s your main reason to use. I know back in the 50’s they pushed this shit on housewives to stay thin believe woman just have more troubles with food vs men. If you already like to work out you’ll probably enjoy it more off addy because you’ll crave that adrenaline rush u no longer get with pills. Maybe look into a keto diet to curb your appetite when you quit addy it’s probably not a life long solution but the diet does work u won’t crave food all the time and along with intermittent fasting you won’t be spending tons of money on food good luck hope u decide to quit for good it’s not easy I know.
  16. Triggers

    Most people over eat no doubt. But with discipline you can do things like intermittent fasting. Feels much better accomplish fitness goals off addy. It sounds like you don’t have much interest in stopping which is fine your body just wondering why your on this site if everything is golden on adderall?
  17. Glad you found out u did not want I’d urge anybody to share thoughts about going back on here first maybe it would have avoided it all together. Just curious why you felt if you quit for 14 months and still had brain fog how would going back on it for only six months then quitting again be beneficial? Even if it did help at the new job be right back where u started after six months having to quit again. I highly doubt uour doctor would have said no to u after six months if you changed your mind, actually with that 6 month request he should have not given it at all honestly but majority don’t care that’s obvious. Hope u tossed away those pills even if it made u feel aweful part of your brain will always crave them no need to have them available.
  18. 2018s Most Googled Health Condition - ADHD

    Well pretty much everybody is adhd these days but medications are not the solution put your fucking smart phone away for a couple hours lol.
  19. I watched about half of it definitely seemingly promoting its use couldn’t bare anymore. I’d love for them to do a follow up on all those college kids doing so great on it 10 years after. What happens when it loses the magic? When the user realizes they have no self will it’s all artificial. They can’t function with coworkers and family because constantly on edge. When your only goal is getting more and more meds chasing that euphoria and focus it once produced.
  20. 9 Months. Help!

    MADD congrats on 9 months. Yes we do seem to always focus only on the bright side of this dark drug. Your fighting yourself the addiction is etched deep in your brain and that voice in your head is screaming it wants that drug back. But you know what will happen, you know how bad it makes you feel, you know that’s not what you really want. I’m sure you’ve read what to do in recovery but if you haven’t try to start working out either take long walks, jog or hit the gym up hard either way do something to get your endorphins going. For me do believe that’s been a huge help even getting up now at 4:30am to hit the gym. I’m not a morning person actually hate it but what I found if I get up at 7am or 4:30am I still hate it the same so fuck it wake up early be mad get some shit done at the gym so don’t have to worry about it the rest of the day.
  21. My Personality Medicine

    The obsession fades but the impact of the years of use never goes without notice. I still compare my achievements on adderall vs post and always look at the extra mile I put in on the drug. Simple fact is it stops working at some point if it didn’t doubt anyone would really be on here. Look at it like this you lost a arm you can focus the rest of your life saying how much better you could do with two arms or you can take on new challenges with what you have and adapt in life. Your never going to get that arm back just as adderall will never do what it did for you at one time. It’s not easy it plain sucks at times but you got to move on. The good news is you didn’t lose a arm (or hopefully not at least) you still have what you started with but mentally you gonna have to push yourself non stop to be productive. It does get easier but takes a lot of time.
  22. I finally need to tell my doctor

    Your doctor is your drug dealer not the savior who is going to help you quit. Long as he can do it legally he will continue. Just know ethically most do not give one fuck if your addicted to adderall they need repeat customers. So stop looking for a outside force to get yourself to quit. You want your doctor to say no more tell him you have no health insurance and cannot self pay problem solved.
  23. I understand completely felt the same way so many in the past 2 years plus but I know going back to adderall is not the answer. I have seen several people on here go years off it only to relapse but be right back on here after a month or two and quitting all over again. Adderall does wonders when it works but we all at some point get the reverse effects and it no longer helps us focus and achieve goals. I assume that’s why you stopped in the first place? I’ve yet to see someone quit on here and life is just going great on it decide hey I should just quit this mircle pill but I’m doing wonderful! We only quit after life comes crashing down from our crippling addiction to these pills and they make us lifeless zombies only looking for that next addy pump.
  24. Long-term quitters: Any lingering issues?

    “Basically, I still have sleep issues some nights, as well as anxiety and sometimes bouts of depression. I wonder if I'm back at my pre-adderall baseline with these issues (which I've had on and off all my life), or if I might have caused some long-term damage that made these things worse. “ This sounds exactly like I feel and I’m over 2.5 years so if your like it at 5.5 years bet I’ll be the same. It’s frustrating all my life been looking for answers I’ve felt I need something to help me just always felt out of balance and that’s how I found addy. Ive looked at options lately to combat my depression lack of focus posted about trying Kratom for a solution last night as a option then realized maybe it’s not a good suggestion for people on here. I’ve also thought of going to a low T center to see if that’s a issue but I’m pretty sure it’s not because I have good sex drive and can work out just fine. Plus if you start taking testosterone your body stops producing naturally so your pretty much forced to pay up rest of your life or have a major withdraw in hopes your body will start producing I’m betting that withdraw similar to ours. I don’t know man you do everything right far as diet exercise not drinking ( still do on occasions) and u still feel low energy and unfocused like what else can you do? They say your depressed u can find help well that’s just a flat out lie. Antidepressants don’t work , talking works some but with a professional cost a lot of money and time. What worked for me was fucking adderall also pain pills made me fucking happy until it all went out of control. Battling lifetime depression and unable to now focus and motivate has been getting me down lately. I want to make future plans set future goals but too lazy to focus and too scared I can’t complete them. I’m past the point of being easy on myself for withdraw because that’s fucking over and I got to get shit done accomplish real goals not just sit around half the time being lazy yet patting myself on the fucking back like I’m doing so good. I’m not saying I’m looking to relapse so don’t anyone on here give me the fucking lecture about starting adderall again I know what will happen. Just wish something natural I could find that could help lift my depression a little bit help me focus just a little but guess I never will force to be like this until I die great, grand , fucking awesome.
  25. WE ARE ON DAY 3!!

    Congrats on quitting smoking I went to vaping have for like 6 yrs ago now never could quit nicotine 100% but won’t smokes cigarettes again. If your 30 wouldn’t think your just now loosing your hair I know some female members complained about thinning hair on addy so for whatever reason u could be too.