Frank B

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Everything posted by Frank B

  1. Month plus still hate my lazy ass!

    Just FYI technically not married if it was not for having a young child with her Id probably not be with her can't go into details but love my son and even with the imperfect situation he is better here with me and her if not he would be in a bad environment and legally I could not get full custody like I did my first son from his mom. So welcome to my world a fucked up mess.
  2. Month plus still hate my lazy ass!

    Quit once I've stated a lot of my reasons in the past but bottom line yes I was pushing to hard Id end up taking double my dose to finish projects basically stay up very late or all night then crash the next day usually once a week at least. Part of that reason was because between me and my wife we have 5 kids only one from her is mine and trying to get projects done during the day is damn near impossible plus one is blind and love to have him help but around live electrical wires and dangerous shop tools machines etc very hard to get things done. So I usually waited until a Friday night and just hit my extranal boosters at night and have time all to my own to get shit done. I'm just overwhelmed with the situation and it's my escape I guess but fuck I think I just started to want that alone time too much and adderal helped me get their along with finding more projects but when my day job started to get overlooked I decided to quit cold turkey. Family situations just screwed up but dealing with it best way I can and now stopping this is hitting me hard knowing I can't get that time alone anymore try to talk to my wife but she gets mad when I want time to myself if it's the weekend etc so it's pointless.
  3. Month plus still hate my lazy ass!

    Yeh politicians is not what I want to be associated with just a easy scapegoat. I quit because thought I was pushing it to hard physically no side effects could out run 7th graders at practice I still look 10 years younger than I'am always had a baby face. If I took it to my grave what's it matter your gone it's over anyways why not push yourself while alive who wants to live to be 100 plus my generation will be screwed with SS going obsolete. Again a lot of excuses I know quitting is still my goal but just trying to get some people to push me on here my wife is getting sick of me not doing shit not very supportive since she quit also and doesn't understand but she took half the dosage of me for half amount of time either way it's hard but she just doesn't seem to wanna cut me some slack telling me to get my ass out of bed get over it already and I don't blame her been way too lazy.
  4. Month plus still hate my lazy ass!

    Justin that scares the shit out of me if I can't create with my hands because I can't get the energy and will power without adderall ever that would be like telling a good artist once you stop this meds you can never paint worth a shit again. Wow go back to selling my soul to accomplish what I can or be lazy bum doing the bare minimum with my soul... Either way I'm soulless in my mind one who can't create is a body wasted. I thank you for the brutal honestly life's not fair and that's exactly why I've cheated with adderall he'll look at every politician that cheat and lie and we call them heroes ( ok not all of them but some). This drug pushed me into what I can become and I abused it so now I'm at a loss for the correct thing and if anyone tells me it's ok to be lazy the rest of my life I will just give the fuck up no offense.
  5. Month plus still hate my lazy ass!

    I don't even recall my pre -adderall self much to be honest was on it for so long. I punched my mailbox just was mad about whatever two weeks ago it flew off a couple feet was a great right hook. So I taped it back on stayed like that for a week then bought a mailbox it sat in my garage a couple days finally put it back on and did a half ass sloppy job just totally discussed with myself on addy would have bought it the same day got my table saw out cut out a nice base frame and would have looked perfect but now I do something half ass and just looks like work of someone who does not give a fuck. That's not what I want to be and maybe before addy that was me and that's why I liked this drug obviously took it for a reason for 7 years.
  6. How did you fight off adderall withdrawals?

    Just wondering why you think the Wellburtin is what made you irritable? I'm on it also but my bad moods is from withdraw I don't think was caused by the Wellburtin itself the fact that I can't get my addy fix is why I get angry. I think Lexpro decreases your sex drive while Wellburtin does not so personally if I'm off the addy and have no drive for sex that would piss me off even more. Personally I'm angry at myself not able to get my ass in work mode. People on here say wait it out months maybe a year I'll try to overcome this but instead of getting easier seems to be getting harder everyday after a month plus.
  7. I feel like no one seems to understand

    I think quit once had a good point you feel ashamed like your cheating compared to a steroid user in baseball. But you gotta also account just because someone loads up on steroids it won't make you Hit home runs like Mark McGwire but in the same wait it steroids enhanced his career adderall does do the same for you In whatever your doing in life. A note on addy and baseball last year I recall a couple players getting suspended for taking it even with a script I believe they were pitchers which defiantly would give them a advantage if you played outfield be to bored on addy just sit around chewing tobacco. I do not think it addy made me smarter my god I have poor grammar on or off the pills if you read my posts not hard to see. But it did take my abilities to be more creative and figure out complex problems better because I craved perfection. So do I shout from the hills yes this drug helped me do all I did when on them ? Not by a long shot but I'm not really ashamed either, I was only ashamed that before I stopped addy working was all I cared about but it was working on self indulged projects that may or may not pay themselves back in the future hard to tell. I kinda see from reading a lot two types of abusers are on here one the daily users that were prescribed high doses then people who just hit it rock star hard like people on the intervention shows. I can't say ones better or worse its a upper no matter how you look at it. I recall a site with history on amphetamines that in the 1950s ..." Still marketed to treat obesity, narcolepsy and sinus inflammation, "pep pills" or "bennies" are sold for non-medical purposes. Some truckers, homemakers, college students and athletes pop pills to stay awake or keep active." So if it makes you feel better your grandparents probably took them also so don't be ashamed. I feel real deep shame is reserved for doing others purposeful harm. But I have real anger and frustration that I can't snap out of this 1 month plus depression. This sites really my last resort before giving up and taking a pill so do keep on here people understand and try to help.
  8. Month plus still hate my lazy ass!

    I can't say its safe or I wouldn't want to quit but what I'm fairly sure if I was smoking crack for 7 years I wouldn't have a house, family, and buisness I don't think you can put it on the same playing field. I guess if yor taking 150mg or more a day yes but I'd never go that high but felt it was smart to stop since it does kinda steal your soul and all that which I believe is true takes your personality away but makes you one hell of a worker until you get immune to it and need to higher your dose but did not want to do that made me to edgy now just trying to weather the storm I guess but also kicked smoking just trying to be a better person but it's hard to be good in a world gone to hell.
  9. Month plus still hate my lazy ass!

    Well guess its hard since it's a drug that makes you have more self motivation rather than same drug that you end up loosing everything from your addiction like crack or whatever. I don't even drink coffee I was but it does nothing at all for me just seems like everything sucks. I got a foreclosed house I bought to flip did all the work on addy by working late into the night now it's up for sale and can't even go do simple shit to make it more welcoming to sell. I remolded my entire house on my meds and I mean everything kitchen bath built a two car garage turned my old garage into a tv room everything I accomplished seems more than ever due to the extra drive I gained from my meds now I'm sitting around all weekend watching tv maybe going out to eat. I have found working out helps but I pushed myself to hard on the weights can't even lift my arms above my head lol. This just sucks I thought the hard part was over but this has been the hardest time when I quit I had motivation to quit now that I'm off I have no motivation to do much of anything. Not trying to get someone to say hey take one but just trying to get things off my chest on here that people can relate too.
  10. Month plus still hate my lazy ass!

    Damn a year ... Maybe not ready for this commitment I was getting out of hand taking more than I should at the end but maybe just take half my prescribed dose hell I don't know this sucks.
  11. Month plus still hate my lazy ass!

    I've on depressants does not do a lot for happy moods but it has helped me quit smoking and keeps my appetite under control. Shit ever since I was a kid been depressed always looked to self medicate as a teenager pot usual stuff. When was 20 tried coke for the first time loved the feeling (who doesn't some very bad stuff just say no!) but was not one to get hooked knew the consequences but felt while doing it awake and happy for the first time a lot more than pot. When I was 20 my girlfriend had ADHD was on Ritalin took that for the first time omg that was it knew I needed this felt awake and happy for the first time. At college went to get evaluated for a prescription they said no. So fast forward 7 years (long after the coke parties ended) my son was diagnosed with ADHD his mom was the one on Ritalin she did have ADHD big time I'm no doc but she absolutely needed it. My son who I was raising on my own since 9 months was a wreck on it wondered what is the deal here obviously it was powerful so I tried one to see why he was a mess great idea right? Well for me it did the same a Ritalin did not keep my son on it he was a emotional wreck but I sought out to get a script of my own. I told the doc straight up I'm normally depressed and can't always focus both statements true, so got the script here iam 7 years later trying it stop. I guess my subconscious has always sought uppers in one way or another even as a very young kid 7 or 8 I sometimes went to the gas station by myself on a bike and bought Jolt cola because it made me feel alert and happier. My question to myself is if I've always sought stimulates since a young child is why? I feel that I must have always lacked something most people have naturally and these drugs caffeine , cocaine, and adderal just put me in a place I should be but I feel it's not really 100% a ADHD problem it's something else and not sure it can ever be resolved without meds. I don't know my brains just fried from a lifetime of recreational drugs and prescription meds like 2pac said , "I gotta head but ain't no screws in it."
  12. Month plus still hate my lazy ass!

    I can't stand to give myself a break it's been over a month and hate not accomplishing much of anything. How long does this take to heal? I see a couple months ok but years or maybe never..then what's the point live my life a bum being clean off the script I'd hate myself. If the damage is just done regardless then I feel getting back on is my only option rather die young of a heart tack then live my life hating who I've become off this pill.
  13. I'd say if your going to try any drug that's not prescribed by a doctor to help the adderall addiction smoke pot. Not trying to promote smoking weed but it's a lot better to smoke pot than do pain pills pot is not addictive. Also I believe the law is a lot more harsh on non prescribed pain meds possession compared to say having a dime bag if you got pulled over, but don't quote me wouldn't want to be caught with either one myself.
  14. Well this has been a major boot camp for my brain overall myself will. I found the pain killers helped reduce the adderall cravings but stopped using them before it became a full blown addiction also (I do not recommend that method to quit) Now I found smoking cigarretts unfulfilling during my recovery it just made me tired plain and I just decided to quit plus I hate the smell of the smoke in my garage. I do smoke e cig which really kicks the nicotine cravings along with a bupropion script. Didn't think I'd post on this site much after I set my mind to not take this pill but it is such a strong withdraw roller coaster find it helps posting on here still not where I want to be mentally hate being lazy but know adderal won't help.
  15. Agree with quit-once taking pain pills won't help the adderal recovery process instead for me it only delayed the true physiological effects of the withdraw. You got realize being sober just sucks majority of the time plain and simple but the natural highs you get are X2 when they happen including something like listing to a real good song, sex, and endorphine highs like taking a bb team to a championship game winning by 1 point in the final second.. Happened to me last weekend I was feeling like cloud 9 if I was on adderal would have been to focused on coaching the next game to even enjoy the moment. As a kid always wanted to be like a rock star GNR were my role models thought partying all the time is how I should live my life, but got older knew it wasn't meant to be and found adderal was a way to work and party but the party is over now must be sober, well I do still drink occasionally so at least I have that to enjoy conservatively. Quit the pain meds ASAP your just going to crash harder longer you take them I'd like to say life's perfect over a month off adderal week plus off pain meds and cigs but it sucks plain and simple during a work day. This site is great for me personally though, It's much easier to see people in the hard stages vs only dealing with my own also even if this is anonymous I cannot post a form then go back on my word just start using again just not my personality to lie to even strangers.
  16. Wanted to clarify I doubt after all that the herbal pills curved my appetite. Since stopping adderal I did up my dose of Bupropion SR from 150m once a day now taking it twice a day. Reading more closely tonight on the side effects many users do experience some appetite reduction from this prescription. So my thoughts of herbal pills being snake oils still hold true I doubt they do much. But this medication of Bupropoin is a very mild stimulate defiantly nothing close to adderal but believe it is worth noting it helps me personally for depression of with draw from adderal, reduces mildly appetite (which is good if your worried about getting fat off adderal) also helps with nicotine cravings so you might ask your doctor coming off adderall if this would be benificial for you not sure what qualifies you for this I'm by no means at all a health care consultant.
  17. Well I do have a bad heroine habit too... Lol just kidding. I never heard of kicking multiple habits at the same time is more successful but make sense though. I can't use chew and I had a long term goal for stopping cigs it was all a big mental trick of the mind. Here is the deal I used to love chew and hate cigs but I could not go cold turkey on chew and enjoyed them new ecigs but was not into smoking. So I stopped chewing and picked up smoking the part of smoking that is joyful is the time out of relaxation with deep breaths inhaling the smoke but hated the way it smelled and besides that look like a social outcast so after 1 year of smoking I started to combine the ecig and regular smokes. Now off the adderal my craving for real smokes dropped considerably and if I do crave one I'm pretty satisfied with a e cig puff I may or may not quit the Ecig and if i never do quit so what ? It's way better than real smokes and nicotine by itself is no more harmful than caffeine it's the way you get it in you from chewing or smoking real cigs with the 1000's of chemical additives. If you feel like really breaking down use a ecig nicotine free the urge to smoke chew etc will never go away from what see. What's really odd is my appetite is not what I thought it would be figured I'd crave a lot of food but it's really been average maybe even less than it was on all that crap. It may be I'm using a lot of herbal pills that does claim to help your metabolism. I never took those with that in mind but after not having a huge appetite I wondered why and read my herbal supplements more and it does state that helps metabolism to be honest I figured it was all crap but figured I try something while kicking this addictions to help me heal my body. So if anyone is worried about gaining weight off adderal try St.Johns Wart and Green tea and one other forgot the name but it must help because I'm not choosing to endulge myself in hamburgers pizza and ice cream like I though I would after stopping adderal.
  18. This drug has ruined me

    I sometimes slap my face literally to get through a day not probably the best self healing tool but it gets me going. I get angry for being tired just discussed withmyself. It's so amazing the gov lets this strong narcotic easily available I mean any idiot can go to a local gov subsidized clinic and say "I can't focus" well here ya go kid take these. Yet anyone who is dying of cancer can't eat etc cannot get a script for a naturally grown plant marjuana in most states still. Obviously the gov wants busy working cracked out bees not laid back chilled stoners sort of a double standard here. I smoked weed for years stopped one day because I was just bored with it never had withdraws and occasionally lit up without a big relaps why?Because pot is not addictive this crap is very very addictive and makes you caple of doing amazing tasks but it also takes away your soul it's a harsh drawback not worth doing your entire life just understand you know when it's time to quit . The roller coaster has to end someday before it derails and if your on here that's your que to step off the ride and back into your real life. Along with this drug I've been taking pain pills just because it's available too me but now I've been off adderall for nearly a month and off pain meds for 2 days. Man it's some harsh shit to facing your bodies normal capability. I knew what I was doing all along was wrong but figured just one more day of this .. Well that day has ended time to face a new life narcotic free what a bummer but that's life if you want to keep living and personally I must change to be a better example for my family once your children become teenagers they start to ask and figure out if they have a pill popping father and I do not want to lead a piss poor example for them that's why I'm quitting.
  19. This drug has ruined me

    Never took Concerta but did the amphetamine 30mg 2x daily for 7 years. If your a pre-med that may be a advantage study up hard on what this drug is all about and realize your mind is still in control of your body and your body tells your mind it must have this drug to perform not the other way around. I've been off it for a couple of weeks and physically I do a hard days work I'm tired! But if I have my sons basketball practice to coach afterwords I know I can't go home be lazy I get to practice work out with the kids and forget I'm tired. It's all about getting yourself going and for myself the physically energy I miss but my brain function has doubled I can remember things I never could before I can talk to people before was too busy for small talk but if all you do is work never have a little joke or talk about a movie kids etc with someone what are you? Your a damn lifeless hard working robot who would be ideal for someone in the matrix feeding the machine but in life we have no machine we live a short life span and if you don't have any joy during a work day why work? Why make money what's the point! I think the motivation for me to stop was my kids, but what got me over the hurdle was watching the new movie Lone Survivor just watch it if you haven't. Also watch the Adam Sandler movie "click" the remote is amphetamines plain and simple. Good luck
  20. 2 weeks plus adderall free

    I probably won't post again but may check in here time to time to maybe give advice to newbie posts for help. I can tell you after 6 years of daily use in two weeks off here how my life has improved: I. Enjoy eating 2. Have dreams again I can't recall having detailed dreams on adderall. 2. More energy ? That ones a hard to believe even for me even but I think it has to do with eating again,, on adderall I had a bagel in the am then could go,until 6pm without the urge to eat and was part of the downfall for mental focus had no fuel 3. Focused myself back on my business got a $7000 bid won last week.. If I was on adderall I probably would have been too focused on my non money making side projects to even go do the bid. 4. Became a better parent can have way more patience. 5. Been able to enjoy some down time without always stressing out. I could make a list of probably 50 more positives at this time but u get the picture I think. Ok so here is what I really miss from being on adderall after two weeks... Not a damn thing! I will tell you quitting nicotine is 100x worse than stoping adderall, nicotine is always calling you even after a months! . Adderall thank god does not. It was a really was temptation for 1-4 days but after that the chemical dependency wears off, mentally you just got to kick your ass make yourself productive quit feeling sorry for yourself. This site has great resources follow the steps go easy on yourself the first 2 -3 days be a lazy ass don't push yourself you will know when the time is right to get things going to normal speed. Keep in mind if you can quit smoking this is going to be a breeze Im still not nicotine free but did cut smoking in half off adderall but not gonna stop using nicotine yet a major battle has been won for me I gotta plan ahead for a even bigger battle for the stop smoking. Thanks to people who posted to me the first couple of days it really helped me out!
  21. It's been now one week since my beloved pink super red bull pills. I was feeling lazy and tired until Saturday night. Went and watched the new movie 'last man standing' I realized what a cry baby I was being off my meds. Now after that anytime I feel tired or lazy I do push ups sit ups whatever to get myself going motion= energy = power forget those stupid pills. I will miss the all night marathons of rewiring old pinball machines but now I'm planning my hobby time and focusing back on my buisness. I can't say I regret ever doing adderal to start with but it was my time to stop I don't have a big belief in the almighty hopefully we are destin for something after death but all I know is my life has a sort of pre determined path and all goes well when I go with what feels right at the time, my advise after 2-3 days coming off these pills go and see this movie! I swear you'll be back to who you were before with no problems unless before adderal you had no drive or focus at all then actually they may be meds you need not a mental super boost like it does for most of us quitting.
  22. My finances family is involved in aa I think it's not helpful for quitting adderal. I'm not down with Jesus is the only way to sobriety and that's what aa is all about. My thoughts are what if you grew up in Iran then Muhammad is the only way out? It's all a smoke screen the will power is yourself! I'm not claiming I'm atheist but I'm a realist and if Jesus comes down to earth tomorrow and says "hey worship me and my father or you'll burn in hell" bet your ass I'd be on my knees quicker then a prostitute at a sailor convention. But we are going off books that have been translated way too many times and rewritten to enrich the leaders of the times so I'm not taking the writings all in without question ( grew up catholic just FYI ) But if you want free coffee and just a way talk to some good hearted people about your problems it's a good place to go nothing wrong with it or u can just join fight club lol. I'm really happy off this junk can't recall being actually happy for a long long time.
  23. Day 2 off super pill

    Day two of trying to quit been on heavy dose for years started when my son was diagnosed with ADHD then he was not able to take them from side effects. So I tried them just to see why, well holy crap I found a miracle pill. It made me more alert and work fast. I went to the same center and got my own prescription was very easy here u go sir 30mg 2x daily. Ok I have had my own buisness for I think two years already without going into details I do home repairs. Well now on my pill I could do my work, clean the home, take care of my child (single parent) , learn new skills built my own web site at nights, did home improvements remodeled entire home bought a foreclosed home remodeled it to flip, started a restoration hobby blah blah. I posted this all in another form on here noticed it has not a lot of views daily and now can't find it to share on this form. In short I've been a working robot machine who is emotionless and losing customers from my lack of being human yes I'm good at what I do very good but lost my ways of communications with out any sort of emotion. I have to quit I'll try and find my other post being lazy not on my super pill but hope to stay off. But have a question if your were not ADHD to start but take this for years do you actually become ADHD and while removing the drug does your long term focuses come back?
  24. Day 2 off super pill

    Went and watch last man standing tonight done being a whining little lazy bitch without my pills, movie reminded me what all of us posses and what I used to have without a pill -will power! I urge anyone feeling sorry for themselves quitting to go watch it.
  25. Day 2 off super pill

    Day 5 kinda upset with my lack motivation not giving up but not happy with laying my ass around most of the day watching tv like a bum.