Frank B

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Everything posted by Frank B

  1. My Personality Medicine

    The obsession fades but the impact of the years of use never goes without notice. I still compare my achievements on adderall vs post and always look at the extra mile I put in on the drug. Simple fact is it stops working at some point if it didn’t doubt anyone would really be on here. Look at it like this you lost a arm you can focus the rest of your life saying how much better you could do with two arms or you can take on new challenges with what you have and adapt in life. Your never going to get that arm back just as adderall will never do what it did for you at one time. It’s not easy it plain sucks at times but you got to move on. The good news is you didn’t lose a arm (or hopefully not at least) you still have what you started with but mentally you gonna have to push yourself non stop to be productive. It does get easier but takes a lot of time.
  2. I finally need to tell my doctor

    Your doctor is your drug dealer not the savior who is going to help you quit. Long as he can do it legally he will continue. Just know ethically most do not give one fuck if your addicted to adderall they need repeat customers. So stop looking for a outside force to get yourself to quit. You want your doctor to say no more tell him you have no health insurance and cannot self pay problem solved.
  3. I understand completely felt the same way so many in the past 2 years plus but I know going back to adderall is not the answer. I have seen several people on here go years off it only to relapse but be right back on here after a month or two and quitting all over again. Adderall does wonders when it works but we all at some point get the reverse effects and it no longer helps us focus and achieve goals. I assume that’s why you stopped in the first place? I’ve yet to see someone quit on here and life is just going great on it decide hey I should just quit this mircle pill but I’m doing wonderful! We only quit after life comes crashing down from our crippling addiction to these pills and they make us lifeless zombies only looking for that next addy pump.
  4. Long-term quitters: Any lingering issues?

    “Basically, I still have sleep issues some nights, as well as anxiety and sometimes bouts of depression. I wonder if I'm back at my pre-adderall baseline with these issues (which I've had on and off all my life), or if I might have caused some long-term damage that made these things worse. “ This sounds exactly like I feel and I’m over 2.5 years so if your like it at 5.5 years bet I’ll be the same. It’s frustrating all my life been looking for answers I’ve felt I need something to help me just always felt out of balance and that’s how I found addy. Ive looked at options lately to combat my depression lack of focus posted about trying Kratom for a solution last night as a option then realized maybe it’s not a good suggestion for people on here. I’ve also thought of going to a low T center to see if that’s a issue but I’m pretty sure it’s not because I have good sex drive and can work out just fine. Plus if you start taking testosterone your body stops producing naturally so your pretty much forced to pay up rest of your life or have a major withdraw in hopes your body will start producing I’m betting that withdraw similar to ours. I don’t know man you do everything right far as diet exercise not drinking ( still do on occasions) and u still feel low energy and unfocused like what else can you do? They say your depressed u can find help well that’s just a flat out lie. Antidepressants don’t work , talking works some but with a professional cost a lot of money and time. What worked for me was fucking adderall also pain pills made me fucking happy until it all went out of control. Battling lifetime depression and unable to now focus and motivate has been getting me down lately. I want to make future plans set future goals but too lazy to focus and too scared I can’t complete them. I’m past the point of being easy on myself for withdraw because that’s fucking over and I got to get shit done accomplish real goals not just sit around half the time being lazy yet patting myself on the fucking back like I’m doing so good. I’m not saying I’m looking to relapse so don’t anyone on here give me the fucking lecture about starting adderall again I know what will happen. Just wish something natural I could find that could help lift my depression a little bit help me focus just a little but guess I never will force to be like this until I die great, grand , fucking awesome.
  5. WE ARE ON DAY 3!!

    Congrats on quitting smoking I went to vaping have for like 6 yrs ago now never could quit nicotine 100% but won’t smokes cigarettes again. If your 30 wouldn’t think your just now loosing your hair I know some female members complained about thinning hair on addy so for whatever reason u could be too.
  6. WE ARE ON DAY 3!!

    Your on the right path just remember to take it easy for awhile don’t push yourself too hard. I never had my hair getting thinner on addy but thought it grew faster. Then again when you stay up for days at a time you sort of lose track of time so who knows if it did or not grow faster than normal. Guess I’m lucky not a lot of baldness on either side of my family tree. Most my friends who are bald now lost it mid 20’s doesn’t seem to bother them much just shaved it. Good luck with quitting stay close to this site I could not have quit without it.
  7. Cold Turkey or Taper Down

    I quit twice first time cold turkey failed after one month. The second time tapered down but under three months and been off it now for over 2.5 yrs. I can’t say which is best but only thing that matters is once u decide which day is your last that’s it no safety net toss away your stash, burn your future scripts and burn bridges with your doctor.
  8. TWO YEARS :)

    Congrats on your second year glad you doing well!
  9. Congrats on one year! If you’ve seen my post and most others we all felt the same way after one year. Although I was self employed keeping afloat I was not bringing in the income at all like I’m now 2 yrs plus past my quit date. If I was working for someone my first year off this stuff probably would have been fired. Stay in the gym watch what you eat and be patient this is a minimum 2yr plus process after that things really do get better. I know that’s not what we want to hear but for us long time abusers it’s the reality of the situation.
  10. Joe Rogan - Why We Sleep

    Love his podcast although hard to keep up each one between 1-3 hrs long has a new one seems like almost everyday lol. Sometimes feel old I like listing to podcast and sports talk more vs music driving guess once you hit like 37 you’ve heard all the songs u like way too many times and all the new music sucks.
  11. Found an old pill and flushed it

    Funny how strong those things are like Frodo and the ring it talks to u. I recall during my abuse I’d run out and search everywhere for hours hoping to find one addy or pain pill that fell out somewhere. I’d look everywhere crawling on my dirty shop floor even if it landed in cobwebs whatever I’d brush it off and take it. Sometimes I just enjoyed looking for lost pills like a quest I was one sick puppy. Like you if I find one can’t think about it just must destroy it ASAP.
  12. Anddddd I relapsed...sorta.

    Nothing to be embarrassed about we’ve all done what your doing. I would say this don’t look at a psychiatrist for answers they only prescribe drugs you want off drugs correct? You might instead seek help from a Psychologist one who does not prescribe meds but seeks real answers to your problems. Wish you luck either way.
  13. What do you think?

    I bet 10% or less for adults kids I’m sure it’s higher of sticking to a dose because parent monitor the distribution of legal meth for their children, idiots.
  14. Feeling good and very lucky.

    Guess I’m lucky enjoy my trade been working some long hours lately and still try to hit the gym although my work can be very physical so some days skip. The best part even if it’s hot I’m in the sun it gives me a lot of natural energy I could never be in a office everyday I’d be miserable although I do office work after 8-12 hours in the field. I know why I went on addy not because i was lazy just wanted to do more but now realize even if my phone is ringing non stop, jobs scheduled out couple days or weeks because I can only work so many hours, office work behind it really doesn’t matter. I’m one person people and things can wait. I’m important, my kids are important and sleep is very important something I thought in the past was a waste of time too much to do. Hope you find your passion because your ready to take whatever on your good at.
  15. Feeling good and very lucky.

    Sometimes now I feel like I’m back on it, then recall before I took addy I was actually a very motivated person naturally it just 2 yrs couple months for it to return after stopping adderall. Any doctor or person wants to say withdrawal symptoms for that long is all just in our heads like to slap the piss out of them. Yes I was pretty much a lazy ass for 2 years doing the bare minimum but never wanted to be and none of us do why it’s so hard for us to quit but we fucking made it hope others can do the same.
  16. Anthony Bourdain suicide

    One month my ass it takes 2 yrs get your shit together. I’m pretty much back where I was now before addy but was a very long struggle. Far as this suicide I’m betting he was on a SSRI for mild depression then decided to off himself like so many others taking the mind altering crap. Could be adderall related as well all those Hollywood people on that shit but still does not trigger suicide like many antidepressant medications.
  17. Dreams are making recovery difficult today

    Hope you are staying off let us know remember your addiction side of your brain is very strong right now. It will do anything to make you give in be it dreams, depression etc just know on a long enough timeline that addiction grows very weak. It will always be around but it gets much easier believe me. Right now your in a battle for your mind and soul your addiction side is very strong but know everyday you don’t give in it gets a tiny bit weaker.
  18. Dreams are making recovery difficult today

    O yeah if your like me you’ll have dreams of using quite often the first year. Your going to have huge ups and downs first month. Don’t worry about doing much just the bare minimum for a month or two it’s the only way.
  19. You found it here online. I did go to NA however felt sort of a fraud because sorry I’m not giving up alcohol for the rest of my life. Sure know I should etc but I’m not. That’s not a trigger for me at all to take adderall. My trigger was each and every morning drinking a cup of coffee wanting to kickstart my day to kick ass at my job. Did I drink too much on addy? Yes I did but that was only after working all day then drinking at night still taking addy and working in my shop until the sun came up then back to coffee. Anyways some on here would argue you should quit both believe it’s up to each individual to decide that for themselves. Personally that’s why I never got in real deep with NA but was good to talk to others about addiction. More help should be offered for us but probably never will be so just be glad for this site to help each other out.
  20. Confession: still dating girl on Adderall

    My sons mom who lives with me got a new script couple weeks ago. I tossed that shit right in the toilet told her you bring that shit in here again I’m kicking u out on the street. You continue date this girl your putting yourself at risk my situation is a little different believe me if we didn’t have a kid together she wouldn’t be here but while she is I do not allow that crap in my house. Btw how the fuck can u spend 4hrs rearranging a woman’s wardrobe off adderall? Actually come to think about it even on addy don’t think I could make myself do that. She must have some voodoo punany be careful with this one.
  21. Went to neurologist

    Cerebrolysin can’t you order that but says not for human consumption? Seems kind of risky although I’m feeling much better because of the time off this crap would never shy away from something that could help us ex addicts feel even better if it’s safe.
  22. It’s time my man it sucks I know but that’s what heals us. I don’t know if dopamine levels slowly rise or we just forget what it’s like to function daily on speed. Lately been listing to my iTunes while working a lot of the songs bring me back to being strung out on addy listing working all night in my shop on some project. I sometimes even feel a little high while listing the minds very powerful it’s scary. I think we can all overcome this don’t hate yourself for what you did just accept it move forward and know it’s something you never want back in your life again. Try different supplements but just don’t get scammed a lot of those pill producers use highly skilled marketing teams to persuade people who are desperate for help willing to spend anything.
  23. Neurologist Anyone

    If you are fucked up beyond healing do you really want to know? People can overcome crazy obstacles in this life not actually knowing the odds. Just think back when you were nothing but a sperm if ya knew the odds of becoming a real person would you have even tried? Just sayin lol.
  24. I’ve spent a lot of money on these kind of things my first two years. However never $100 per bottle. You really don’t know what’s in this crap most ingredients are from China. If it bumps you up some who knows could possibly have a little decongestant medication in it which U can buy pretty cheap at a drug store yourself. My opinion your getting a placebo effect or it contains a mild stimulant and your wasting your money.
  25. Progress at last

    I was a little tipsy writing that last night but was celebrating one really hard days work that paid me pretty damn good. Anyways this site has done so much for me but honestly feel at this point and time probably visit a lot less. It use to be every morning I’d wake up and say great another day struggling without adderall. When you have that feeling this site is such a great place to be. It’s finally not feeling that way and really trying to put it all in the past. Like to say further down the road I can help people more on here but for now taking a break and move forward. I’ll still check in time to time so feel free message me. When it comes down to what is the secret to quitting in my mind are two very important things. 1. You must get rid of all medication and sources to easily get a new prescription. If I had a emergency stash or still saw my prescribing doctor I would have failed by now no doubt. 2. Time it takes so long for your brain to overcome the shock of quitting. Yes diet exercise sure helps but it does not cure, time alone is the answer in my opinion. The length for most hard users about two years plus to really start to feel a big change. Yes you can function before this point but it’s a struggle for sure.