Frank B

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Posts posted by Frank B



    I recall in 2014 Chris got banned from the playoffs due to failing a drug test which found he was using adderall. Of course he claimed it was a medical needs for his ADHD and year after he got a doctors note and could take them in MLB. Well he did good when he started going back on them got a huge multi million dollar contract. But then started playing bad again. Looks like his time of the golden days have past and he’s not getting that focus needed from his drugs. Anyways like all of us this shit stops working at some point. Of course sports news won’t connect the two but not hard for any of us on here to see what is going on. 


    Side note been been doing much better myself sort of staying off the main forms for awhile just want to focus on moving forward. I think reading all the stories of agony sort of bring me back to a bad place. My crazy ass is still here though for anyone just message me if you feel the need. 

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  2. 11 hours ago, DrewK15 said:

    They are tools of compliance and manufactured bravado, not individuality and creativity.

    Yes great way to put it Drew! 

    For sure listen to that podcast if you get a chance like everything to do with the Nazi party the total hypocrisy of how they sent drug abusers of cocaine to death camps yet fed everyone speed is ridiculous. The speed was made in a lab by a doctor so it was considered safe and good for the people. But it’s really not much different then today in our society you can abuse the fuck out of prescription amphetamines but long as you have a perscription no problem. You go buy cocaine get busted with that you can get thrown in prison and it can easily destroy your life if not end it in prison life. The way we treat illegal drug abusers is a crime against humanity and the way we allow prescription drug abuse not much better. What’s even worse is the war on poor minority drug abusers. If you have money you can get away with getting busted with some cocaine. Your black poor live in the city have one crack rock your looking at a couple years easily. I’m not defending all drug abusers but the system is set up to make repeat offenders plain and simple you have a felony drug charge good luck finding a job. It’s too bad the powers that be in the media have us all occupied with fighting each other over bs politics instead of people seeing the big picture of wtf is really going on. Nazi owned the media it seems now Republicans own half Democrat’s the other this is not good we are not being told the truth on either side thank God for podcast. 

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  3. Stuff you should know is the name of the  podcast episode “We’re nazis drug fueled crankheads?” I’ve always been fascinated learning about the Nazi party and the use of these drugs. For the record I’m not a pro Nazi just interested in how basically the entire nation went into madness overdrive then crashed hard like anyone using speed. If your bored check it out the only thing I was thinking listing is just maybe they would question the large amount of Americans now using legal prescription speed and what repercussions might we face? 

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  4. On 3/15/2019 at 8:40 PM, Socially awkward said:

     that’s interesting to know. I was under the assumption that NA was for everyone, not only opioid addicts. 

    I did ateened NA do think it’s good for any of us. But the part that is so unique with are addiction is the ridiculous amount of recovery it takes to be a productive person again. It’s like you quit most hard drugs and after a couple months things get better your more productive at work have more ambition etc. For us it’s just the opposite and most often you will have people saying maybe you should get back on it because you could lose your job or whatever. It’s tough would not wish this burden upon anybody. 

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  5. On 3/15/2019 at 10:02 PM, oswhid said:

    While our relationship is doing really well all things considered, there are times when I feel we could benefit from talking to to a counselor but I would never risk going to someone without knowing beforehand their view on adderall. 

    I’ve been to a counselor she was good yet when it comes to long term effects on this stimulant she was totally in the dark as I’m sure 99% of counselors are. 

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  6. I use this site also don’t be shy to contact someone directly on here with a personal message. Nobody understands what we are going through NA helps but honestly they are way behind dealing with this soon to come epidemic. The generation adderall is getting older soon they will all want to stop and absolutely nobody is prepared to deal with this. Quitting opioids does not have shit on this I know because I was addicted to them both. 

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  7. Just update have been feeling better last couple days do think the Wellbutrin has started to kick in and is helping now. Ideally I would not be on any medication but at least knowing this is a med I can get off of easily helps. Although this drug has few side effects will say I do get light headed easily recall last time I was on it this happened. 

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  8. 23 hours ago, William said:

    @Frank B I agree that many of us that took Adderall were motivated to start with, and the drug helped us push even harder. I’m self employed too and I haven’t been doing much of anything but just getting by. I’ve spent my life in construction but I’ve never really elevated my business.  Adderall makes its user way to self reliant. With endless energy I was constantly taking on parts of the job I should have subed out for $10/hr. Instead I was killing myself doing mindless demo work. I’ve been trying to find ways to give up some of the control in the work I do. I think as tradesman we sometimes get so hung up on perfection and “doing the job right” that we can’t see the larger picture. That being as a single individual you can’t do the volume of work that’s required for more then just an average income. We wind up beat up and burned out. Which is when the thought of an Adderall boost is so enticing. The math of a one man band just doesn’t add up. And that reality for those of us in the trades, especially as we get close to 50, is depressing and demoralizing. So maybe it’s time to take on an eager apprentice? I’ve hired plenty of guys over the years but it’s never lasted more then a couple years. But I’ve seen guys take on young kids out of high school and really grow their business. Maybe that’s a possible avenue for you. HVAC is a trade that keeps growing. I wish I would have got involved in that instead of carpentry all those years ago. 

    Yeah it’s been a thought only problem is hiring someone who can be reliable is not cheap and you’d have to guarantee certain amount of hours so actually makes more work hustling to get more jobs. In the summer I do normally hire a helping hand but only thing they can do is carry tools help move heavy things. I’ve been keeping off looking at a long term plan but hitting 40 this year made me realize shit I’m getting old can’t do this forever and I have no retirement plan and not enough capital to sell my buisness for much at all. I could still possibly go to work for a union and have some retirement but I know I’d work all the time and prob hate my life. 

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  9. On 3/8/2019 at 7:47 AM, sleepystupid said:

    i wish i could use cannabis like this, but those vape pens just make smoking every night so easy. i also wish i was one of those people that gets inspired or energetic from it, but frankly it just numbs me. if i'm in a particularly bad state of mind, it can depress the fuck out of me.


    Yeah pot just makes me lazy but also gives me anxiety paranoid especially shit these days it’s like everyone has to smoke the most powerful shit on the planet. Noticed even Joe Rogan lately has concerns with how powerful weed is getting these days. I use CBD oil sometimes for depression it helps some but it’s expensive and you build a tolerance quickly. 

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  10. 1 hour ago, oswhid said:

    @DrewK15  I see that what I wrote came out wrong.  Even though it came out wrong I just get so upset (not mad) when I feel that someone may have unrealistic expectations and use that as a reason to relapse.  My hate for this drug has no limit and I think it got the best of me today.  My husband is doing really well but he does not like to talk about it much.   I think I just needed a release today and seeing Frank waver brought up the suppressed terror I have of my husband relapsing though there has not been any signs.

    I wouldn’t say I have unrealistic expectations but I do hold myself to certain standards and know my efforts have been overall very poor. I think many people who took this were like me had high motavtions before adderall and simply used it to amplify what was already available. To go from that high of pure nonstop work ethic to being like a lazy teenager who just has no ambition in life is a hard pill to swallow. I don’t want to be a slave to a pill  again on edge all the time have a skyrocket heart rate. But I do want the ability to focus more, have more ambition to build my buisness further and look at other possibilities like investments properties etc. I guess to a normal person I’m doing fine paying all my current bills staying in very good physical shape. But to me that’s not enough always wanted more guess I just need to hope with more time I can still gain momentum to get more done in life.

     FYI if your husband ever does open up to you about wanting to possibly use again do not come at him like you did me it could backfire.

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  11. 1 hour ago, Tom23Jones said:

    @Frank B We all have times where it gets extra tough, or things get extra dark and gloomy.  Just stay patient man, adderall is definitely not the answer which I think you fucking know that man.  They say change happens when the pain of staying the same gets greater than the pain of change... It seems like your at a point where its time to change things up.  I've always said massive action is the cure all.  You are already doing so much right but it seems like its time for a few more radical changes. It could be anything that'll spark a positive mindset shift. Join jiu jitsu and get your kids into it too, cut out alcohol 100% and never drink again, go to a bunch of NA meetings, start a gratitude journal, take up yoga and/or meditation, sign up for a marathon or tough mudder and start training.... any or all of those things could be the turnaround you need.  Can't hurt right? your mood and motivation is already shit right now.  Go get after it buddy, your life and your kids lives depend on it

    Actually been doing boxing and teaching kids also. My son is also learning karate and jiu jitsu I’ve talked to his teacher about learning some myself awesome guy went to Japan to study martial arts was a ex cop who taught the force hand to hand combat. He also got to train with Royce Gracie guys legit knows his stuff. But yeah anyways I just see all these highly motivated successful people kicking life’s ass and I’m still just getting by, tired of getting by I want more and I’ve sat on the sidelines for a couple years. I know going back won’t make me better but what will just tired of myself not going for it. 

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  12. 1 hour ago, oswhid said:

    @William   It was a stupid fluke and I blame myself.   Not a day goes by that I don't wish I go back to one moment in time and not do what I did.   When our son was in 3rd grade he was having "behavior problems" according to his teacher even though his grades were fine.   She said he wouldn't stay in his seat and had problems paying attention.  Turned out he just needed glasses and was getting up to see what was going on and also was missing things that she pointed out because he couldn't see.  But before we figured that out, we took him to a doctor who, you guess it, prescribed adderall.  We got a prescription for I think 5mg ir.  I really wasn't that thrilled about putting him on drugs so he never even finished the first months supply and we never refilled.  Meanwhile we figured out the real problem.  But that bottle with 2 or 3 pills stayed in our drawer for 5 years.  One day my husband who was 49 at the time complained about not being able to stay focused on his work because of constantly being interrupted by people.  I remember it like yesterday - it was a beautiful spring day.  I walked over to the drawer and handed him the bottle and in my ignorance said "try this see if it helps". Apparently it was love at first pill.  I had no idea that that one act would alter the course of our lives forever.  As I said, not a day goes by that I don't relive that moment and want to weep. I constantly imagine walking over to the sink and putting it down the disposal instead.

    How I got hooked my kid was given it I took it got him off thought side effects way to harsh for kids but then went and got my own prescription it was love at first pill also.  I recall immediately gutting my bathroom for a remodel that I was wanting to do but kept putting off. I stayed up for days working on it bathroom turned out great but yeah wasn’t worth getting hooked on the pills. 

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  13. 4 hours ago, oswhid said:

    @Frank B  Well I've seen it up close and personal.  I figured I would piss you off even though that wasn't my intent.  I know you don't think that life should be roses all the time BUT I have noticed an ongoing theme among a lot of you that sounds like you have forgotten or never experienced adult life without adderall and have unrealistic expectations.  Everyone has financial worries these days.  We are old and have no retirement because of decisions my husband made while on adderall.  I don't have the answer to that but I can tell you that adderall isn't it.  For the record, I admire you for being so blunt and honest in your posts.  I figured you could take it.  :)

    No problem it is just a frustrating situation I obviously do not want to go back on but had to post my issues I’ve been keeping to myself for along time, mainly because I do not want to have newbies see my struggles so far out and make them think quitting is pointless. However until you’ve gone through what we have it’s hard to tell someone like myself say it’s just my age and normal. Definitely more to it than that I’m 40 not 60 i experienced adult life before adderall grant it much younger. 

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  14. 42 minutes ago, oswhid said:

    Going to rant just a bit so I apologize in advance. Sometimes I think that many of you on here have unrealistic expectations of REAL life. Maybe you were on adderall so long that you forgot.  Or maybe you started when you were young and got off when you were more mature. More mature as in older, slower, less filled with youthful energy and enthusiasm.  All the things that people gradually experience as they age but you missed it because you had artificially masked it.  Now you are experiencing it for the first time and well - welcome to the real world. Guess what?  It isn't all roses.  It sucks sometimes. A lot of the times.   Us non-users are lazy, unmotivated, depressed ALL the time too.  Who the heck ever said that work has to be fun and fulfilling.  It's just f'ing  WORK.  You know,  what you do to make money.  That's it.  If you don't hate it that's great but not a requirement.  Good grief!!!  We lay around all weekend watching netflix and not doing shit that we know we should do too.  We have days where where it all seems pointless and hopeless too.   Yes we have good moments too but they come and go.  Life is not one constant stream of energy and motivation.  Yes there are those people that seem to always be happy, motivated and energetic but they are the exception not the norm. And maybe they are faking it a good bit too - putting on a show. Like those people who present a perfect life on facebook.   @Frank B it IS normal for someone in shape to be unmotivated.  One day I may run ten miles, one day I may clean the whole house, and then I may spend several days sitting on the couch on my computer reading in horror and depressed about that thing currently in the white house or wasting hours doing a coloring app on my phone. What isn't normal is endless motivation. But I can tell you one thing that is wonderful about real life these days -  not living with an asshole who is a slave to adderall.  End rant.

    You think I feel life everyday should be all fucking roses? I’ve never said that or thought that. Been off this shit for 3 years understand that completely. My current state of effort is not productive enough to secure a financial future for my children and definitely in no way going to provide me with a source of income for retirement. I have focused on recovery my body for the last couple years in hopes it would slowly start to reflect in a little more ambition work wise. It has not and I’m at a loss  given you haven’t used yourself maybe you don’t have the right to give your smart ass opinion. 

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  15. What more can I do? I eat healthy, work out daily, volunteer to help kids in sports, drink very seldom yet I’m still very unenthusiastic about work which but actually sort of enjoy what I do. It’s been 3 damn years couple months and I don’t feel much has improved over the last 6 months. I just started Wellbutrin again about 2 weeks ago it’s doing very little. I just feel like going to the doctor and saying, “I give up, to be a productive worker again I’m going to have to use adderall.” I know everyone says going back is a mistake hell said it myself many times. But I just don’t know what to do I’ve given this recovery my absolute everything and it’s still a daily struggle and I can’t see anything changing at this point. Hope this does not make new people from wanting to stop I abused heavily for nearly a decade so guess paying the ultimate price which is never actually recovering. I got so mad at myself for just being fucking lazy slapped the fuck out of my face even had a bloody nose, instead of getting motivated to get my ass in gear to focus on work I laid down watched the price is right. For someone as in my physical shape I should not be this lazy unmotivated it’s not normal I can’t deal with this for much longer. 

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  16. 22 hours ago, Clavicula said:

    Yeah I actually have a ton of cognitive problems from the schizophrenia, not ADHD, and Strattera seems to help. Honestly, I would give anything to kill the cravings and lift the depression, which is why I am taking it. I read that it doesn't actually increase dopamine. It simply prevents the reuptake of norepinephrine. It doesn't really have abuse potential. I am feeling okay with starting Strattera because I read on Wikipedia that you can stop it without having withdrawals. And I would love to share my writing with you. I'll PM you.

    You might talk to the doctor about Wellbutrin it’s been shown to help a lot of us and although I hate being on anything I just started a new prescription again on it due to bad seasonal depression. I do not know much about Strattera but know from experience you can go on and off Wellbutrin with little discomfort normally once summer hits and I get more sun I don’t need it.

    Hopefully your journey to quitting adderall will be easier I’m a firm believer the length of recovery is based on how much and how long. I abused daily high dosage for nearly a decade so my recovery is on the more extreme side. 

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  17. Documantry on Amazon called Buzz One Four talked about pilots who manned 30-40 hour nonstop flights carrying nuclear bombs in B-52 bombers during the 1960’s. All pilots were required to take “buzz pills” amphetamines. It’s amazing we live in a country that locks up people for having weed for personal use yet we forced pilots carrying weapons of mass destruction to use speed drugs. 

    One of these planes crashed into a mountain somewhere in western Maryland what the document was primarily about. It was carrying two 9 megaton thermonuclear bombs combined over eleven hundred times more powerful than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima. If dentonated would devostated multiple cities from Washington to Boston. The crash was not caused by the crewman rather a tail fin fell off it was already documented to have issues of failure in strong turbulence. There were 32 of these plane crashes documented with nuclear payloads. Some were blamed on pilot error. To this day nuclear  bombs from wrecks still sit in a Georgia river another one in Seattle woods a few others scattered around. You’d think at some point all efforts to retrieve these bombs would be top priority. 


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  18. Definitely hits the nail on the head unfortunately I’m sure most parents believe it does not apply because their child was classified as ADD. Possibly it could persuade them to lower dosage but when grades start slipping sure they would just go back to the higher dose. It’s really a shame people do not understand the grip of addiction that takes place and he’s right cocaine has nothing on adderall. I did lines in my younger days quit never craved or missed that shit again after a couple days. Adderall quit 3 years ago still think about it at least once a fucking day. 

  19. You need to make some sort of nutrition plan. I think going keto with intermittent fasting is the easiest it suppresses hungar by adding more fats to your diet. Although I’m not on it now helped me out a lot when I first got off this stuff. You can’t expect your big appetite will just go away. This is why so many skinny trophy wife soccer moms love adderall it takes little effort to stay thin while on it. 

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  20. 34 minutes ago, EricP said:

    Congrats Frank! 

    I also sink like a rock, have my whole life. While I can do some basic strokes and keep afloat long enough to save my own life I suck at swimming. I will have to consider trying this also as soon as our local pools open back up in the spring. I tried a little last summer however felt like I lost my coordination and my endurance and desire to move fast has faded a bit since quitting. Will have to give it another shot! 

    It’s really great exercise no impact on joints so sort of a break from running and weights and get some killer cardio. I’d recommend buying some fins it’s helped me a lot also a front facing snorkel so u can focus on form not worry about breathing. These are ones I got pretty reasonable price work great.


  21. Well over the last couple months took on a challenge I’ve avoided my entire life. I never learned how to swim growing up. But felt it was a challenge worth taking on. Taken a class as a 40 year old adult is very humbling and you must leave your ego at the door. Happy to say I’ve made a lot of progress started doing laps now, ok one then stop for a little while still getting that breathing part down. I have little body fat so it’s a constant effort from going under my body just wants to sink. Anyways this is something on adderall I would have never considered to be important enough to take on plus my ego would not have let me. My ultimate goal is to take part of a triathlon some day I’ll need a lot of practice swimming and get more time on a bike and pick up a little more running but hopefully something I can do in a year or so time. Now if I can only have the same drive, focus and motivation when it comes to actual work work as I do for self improvements I’ll be in great shape. 

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  22. 27 minutes ago, EricP said:

    If trying to keep a job my guess is you will need to taper off very slowly over a long duration of time. I stopped cold turkey and that was horrible. I don’t know if anyone here had better results from tapering off but it couldn’t hurt. The hard part about tapering is that you will still have a supply and will be super tempting to increase dose as soon as feeling awful 

    I tapered my second and successful time quitting. It was done in a 3 month period with a date set in stone last day to take it. My drug dealer I mean doctor recommended a year step down but I didn’t have the patience for that but knowing the first time I failed after a month going cold turkey I did want some sort of step down. Your either going to quit or not so if you can’t control your dosage to step down chances are your not serious about quitting. Just my thoughts some disagree believe in the cold turkey method only but I tried it once just did not work for me. 


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  23. I feel it will be very hard to keep up that fast pace career quitting and still working just being honest. Think you need to determine if your still functioning at a high level on this drug fact is it stops working for all of us and at some point and we actually become somewhat lazy and very unfocused. The only thing we want is more adderall chasing that euphoria feeling that has faded away. If you are still doing your best on it how’s your health? Is this career and taking adderall worth some the serious health risk? Is taking it daily something you can continue doing until retirement or heart attack whichever comes first. If someone can make millions in 7-10 years on adderall have money invested then quit think it’s worth the risk. For everyone else we fucked up and should never have taken it. 

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