[Relapse]

Sean I know right around the 2nd year I was actually calling around to find psychiatrist. Part of me was just saying I’ll be open to suggestions but I knew the real reason, I wanted to get back on adderall. I actually ended up calling someone off here who changed my mind so I never made that appointment. If you’d like message me I’ll give you my number. I dont have all the answers but be glad to help anyway I can sometimes it’s best to talk it out. 

[30 Days! (But Now What?)]

It seems odd I’m now the “old guy” with a son 18 I started young just now hitting 40. Think younger generations now are not making the same mistakes mine did as often having children before they are ready yet for all the problems it does make one is forced to grow up. How I got into adderall when he was in second grade my son was given a prescription to help him focus in school. It totally made him into someone else no happiness or sadness sort of a zombie. I thought what is this like I’m gonna try it myself see what it could be doing. Well I loved it but thought it was way too harsh for a second grader. So I got him off it then went and got my own prescription and that started me on the road of 10 years of addiction. It was a stupid choice I knew it was bad for my child yet thought the benefits it gave me of superhuman motivation was worth the bad side effects. 

[30 Days! (But Now What?)]

Congrats on 30days! If I did not have my own buisness when I first quit probably would have been fired. So it’s really hard to judge at this point what your going to do. I don’t know how old you are but guessing mid 20’s? If so your not alone see so many young people sort of lost, a little college and part time jobs no set career. I’d give it time just focus on quitting if your lucky enough to have that luxury. My oldest son is graduating high school this year although he’s not big on studying he feels just going to college will get him a job afterwords. That’s true if you know why your going for but this bs taught in high schools schools you just go to college and just land a big paying career afterwords is garbage and I tell him that. Personally I went to trade school best thing I ever did. I’m not saying he must go that route but if he really does not like to study or have any goals in mind going to college I feel is a waste.

 Too meet new people maybe join a gym or do a little volunteer work in your community. Seems like visiting Israel will be something to keep you occupied and mind off addy for awhile good luck on the trip. 

[My Story So Far, 191 Days Clean]

Definitely hang in next week I’ll hit the three year mark and things improving a lot. Think out of all three people that quit when I did on here I might have had a longer time to really get back to a new normal. Might have been how long I took addy and how much plus I was abusing pain pills. But regardless yes coming into year three things are getting so much better. The start of year two I would not have said that. 

On 11/12/2018 at 3:48 PM, SeanW said:

I have a very similar story. Ended up rock bottom, moved back home, went to an outpatient rehab for about two months. I'm 19 months clean and my anhedonia is still very prevalent. I find it very hard to find any motivation to do anything and I'm bored all time. I force myself to workout daily and eat healthy. Things have gotten slightly better with time. I'm am definitely a lot better than the first few months. I'm going to hang in there and hope for the best because a lot of long time quitters say you don't get significantly better till year two and three. 

[New here (my story) Venting and welcoming honest advice!]

Sounds like some major side effects and your heart definitely at risk. Sad your “doctor” heard you concerns and gave you a higher dosage. Feel honestly these jerks should be legally liable for creating speed junkies. We all took this to be our best but in the end does the opposite. The good thing is your very new to this only two years so likely your recovery period should  take less time but does not mean at all it will be easy. So you know it’s literally killing you it’s obviously not the answer to your problems hope you choose to stop sooner va later. Just look at it a small phase of your life that’s in the past don’t beat yourself up too bad. Yes life goes on without it will folding socks, cleaning house or reading a instruction manual give you euphoria after you stop? No it won’t but it’s fake your never able to enjoy real things in life that should bring you happiness when doing busy work gives you a rush. 

[Long timer checking in.]

Congrats we started same time along with Bluemoon know she’s been doing good also pretty cool all 3 of us made it.

[CBD oil]

I bought some cbd oil you put under your tongue about a week ago. Feel it’s really helped some with anxiety/ depression and  with some body aches I always have. Highly recommended giving it a try it does not get you high no thc but gives all the other benefits of cannabis. Also think it’s helped with the urge to drink as I’m doing a sober November. 

[5 days clean feeling hopeful but tempted]

Congrats on 5 days! For most people I’d say take a month or two off eat whatever don’t worry about work outs take it easy then dive into those challenges. If your livelyhood depends on appearance and u can’t take time off then you’ll have to get on the ball with a game plan with a healthy way to control your appetite. Become friends with apple cider vinegar it helps, also like I mentioned before consider a keto diet. It would be best though if you could just let yourself go a month and just focus on stopping the meds. Just consider at some point your gonna have to quit for good and really no time is the right time always something will be going on in your life where you feel it’s a need.

 

[Sober November]

1 hour ago, quit-once said:

I did a Dry January and it was almost life changing, although I didn't give up the weed.  It changed my relationship with alcohol.   I feel like doing it again this year, but not until Jan, which is technically next year.  Good luck!

 

I had weed this summer on float trip this summer for the first time in a long time. I basically sat and said nothing for hours totally paranoid. Stuffs a lot more potent these days not for me lol. But believe it should be legal everywhere such hypocrisy alcohol which can literally kill u if over consumer is legal but pot still is not. Let alone the medical multiple benefits.

So far just 5 days in feeling a little more energy even though never drank to falling down drunk but think the 2-3 beer buzz from before dinner I’ve grown accustomed too every other day was getting too much. If you do intermittent fasting u know that’s usually a very solid buzz also lol. From what I’ve read it’s pretty counterproductive drinking before u eat the body is focused with breaking down alcohol alllowing more fat to be stored from the food so also this may help me with my fitness goals as well.

 

 

[Sober November]

I decided no alcohol this month inspired by Joe Rogan’s sober October, although not having to give up weed and shrooms since I don’t do that stuff. Feel lately been relying on a few drinks at the end of the day for stress relief too often. Earlier in my recovery I did this and honestly did not feel much different far as sleep and energy curious to see how it will feel now. Anybody who has occasional drink feel free to join me although should have posted this pre nov lol. 

[Triggers]

13 hours ago, marybelle said:

he asked about triggers and I said my trigger is my appetite being a model, my body is something that makes me money it is my job. of course it FEELS better to accomplish fitness goals off addy but again I was mentioning MY TRIGGER which is decrease in hunger. if only quitting were that easy "omg it just FEELS BETTER off Adderall" yeah no shit. thats why I'm here. it isn't that easy, I am on this site because Adderall is ruining my life. where in the hell did I say my life is golden?? 

In my opinion being healthy looking good post addy is the most obtainable goal to achieve. But I’ve never had a real bad eating disorder not male model so hard for me to judge if that’s your main reason to use. I know back in the 50’s they pushed this shit on housewives to stay thin believe woman just have more troubles with food vs men. If you already like to work out you’ll probably enjoy it more off addy because you’ll crave that adrenaline rush u no longer get with pills. Maybe look into a keto diet to curb your appetite when you quit addy it’s probably not a life long solution but the diet does work u won’t crave food all the time and along with intermittent fasting you won’t be spending tons of money on food good luck hope u decide to quit for good it’s not easy I know. 

 

[Triggers]

On 4/11/2018 at 4:26 AM, marybelle said:

for me its my hot ass body & all the money I save on food :/

both times I tried to quit and I get my appetite back I always remember thinking to myself.. how to humans have the time or money to eat this fucking much in a day??

Most people over eat no doubt. But with discipline you can do things like intermittent fasting. Feels much better accomplish fitness goals off addy. It sounds like you don’t have much interest in stopping which is fine your body just wondering why your on this site if everything is golden on adderall? 

[Why my short relapse wasn't a bad thing.]

Glad you found out u did not want I’d urge anybody to share thoughts about going back on here first maybe it would have avoided it all together. Just curious why you felt if you quit for 14 months and still had brain fog how would going back on it for only six months then quitting again be beneficial? Even if it did help at the new job be right back where u started after six months having to quit again. I highly doubt uour doctor would have said no to u after six months if you changed your mind, actually with that 6 month request he should have not given it at all honestly but majority don’t care that’s obvious. Hope u tossed away those pills even if it made u feel aweful part of your brain will always crave them no need to have them available. 

[2018s Most Googled Health Condition - ADHD]

Well pretty much everybody is adhd  these days but medications are not the solution put your fucking smart phone away for a couple hours lol.

[Rewatched “Take Your Pills” documentary and my thoughts.]

I watched about half of it definitely seemingly promoting its use couldn’t bare anymore. I’d love for them to do a follow up on all those college kids doing so great on it 10 years after. What happens when it loses the magic? When the user realizes they have no self will it’s all artificial. They can’t function with coworkers and family because constantly on edge. When your only goal is getting more and more meds chasing that euphoria and focus it once produced. 

[9 Months. Help!]

MADD congrats on 9 months. Yes we do seem to always focus only on the bright side of this dark drug. Your fighting yourself the addiction is etched deep in your brain and that voice in your head is screaming it wants that drug back. But you know what will happen, you know how bad it makes you feel, you know that’s not what you really want. I’m sure you’ve read what to do in recovery but if you haven’t try to start working out either take long walks, jog or hit the gym up hard either way do something to get your endorphins going. For me do believe that’s been a huge help even getting up now at 4:30am to hit the gym. I’m not a morning person actually hate it but what I found if I get up at 7am or 4:30am I still hate it the same so fuck it wake up early be mad get some shit done at the gym so don’t have to worry about it the rest of the day. 

[My Personality Medicine]

The obsession fades but the impact of the years of use never goes without notice. I still compare my achievements on adderall vs post and always look at the extra mile I put in on the drug. Simple fact is it stops working at some point if it didn’t doubt anyone would really be on here. Look at it like this you lost a arm you can focus the rest of your life saying how much better you could do with two arms or you can take on new challenges with what you have and adapt in life. Your never going to get that arm back just as adderall will never do what it did for you at one time. It’s not easy it plain sucks at times but you got to move on. The good news is you didn’t lose a arm (or hopefully not at least) you still have what you started with but mentally you gonna have to push yourself non stop to be productive. It does get easier but takes a lot of time. 

[I finally need to tell my doctor]

Your doctor is your drug dealer not the savior who is going to help you quit. Long as he can do it legally he will continue. Just know ethically most do not give one fuck if your addicted to adderall they need repeat customers. So stop looking for a outside force to get yourself to quit. You want your doctor to say no more tell him you have no health insurance and cannot self pay problem solved. 

[A year off adderall and in a bit of a slump]

On 8/23/2018 at 9:34 PM, SeanW said:

I'm so tired.. so tired of this.. so tired of pain.. I don't want to be here anymore.. 

I understand completely felt the same way so many in the past 2 years plus but I know going back to adderall is not the answer. I have seen several people on here go years off it only to relapse but be right back on here after a month or two and quitting all over again. Adderall does wonders when it works but we all at some point get the reverse effects and it no longer helps us focus and achieve goals. I assume that’s why you stopped in the first place?  I’ve yet to see someone quit on here and life is just going great on it decide hey I should just quit this mircle pill but I’m doing wonderful! We only quit after life comes crashing down from our crippling addiction to these pills and they make us lifeless zombies only looking for that next addy pump. 

[Long-term quitters: Any lingering issues?]

“Basically, I still have sleep issues some nights, as well as anxiety and sometimes bouts of depression.  I wonder if I'm back at my pre-adderall baseline with these issues (which I've had on and off all my life), or if I might have caused some long-term damage that made these things worse. “

 This sounds exactly like I feel and I’m over 2.5 years so if your like it at 5.5 years bet I’ll be the same. It’s frustrating all my life been looking for answers I’ve felt I need something to help me just always felt out of balance and that’s how I found addy. Ive looked at options lately to combat my depression lack of focus posted about trying Kratom for a solution last night as a option then realized maybe it’s not a good suggestion for people on here. I’ve also thought of going to a low T center to see if that’s a issue but I’m pretty sure it’s not because I have good sex drive and can work out just fine. Plus if you start taking testosterone your body stops producing naturally so your pretty much forced to pay up rest of your life or have a major withdraw in hopes your body will start producing I’m betting that withdraw similar to ours. 

 I don’t know man you do everything right far as diet exercise not drinking ( still do on occasions) and u still feel low energy and unfocused like what else can you do? They say your depressed u can find help well that’s just a flat out lie. Antidepressants don’t work , talking works some but with a professional cost a lot of money and time. What worked for me was fucking adderall also pain pills made me fucking happy until it all went out of control.

Battling lifetime depression and unable to now focus and motivate has been getting me down lately. I want to make future plans set future goals but too lazy to focus and too scared I can’t complete them. I’m past the point of being easy on myself for withdraw because that’s fucking over and  I got to get shit done accomplish real goals not just sit around half the time being lazy yet patting myself on the fucking back like I’m doing so good. I’m not saying I’m looking to relapse so don’t anyone on here give me the fucking lecture about starting adderall again I know what will happen. Just wish something natural I could find that could help lift my depression a little bit help me focus just a little but guess I never will force to be like this until I die great, grand , fucking awesome. 

[WE ARE ON DAY 3!!]

Congrats on quitting smoking I went to vaping have for like 6 yrs ago now never could quit nicotine 100% but won’t smokes cigarettes again. If your 30 wouldn’t think your just now loosing your hair I know some female members complained about thinning hair on addy so for whatever reason u could be too.

[WE ARE ON DAY 3!!]

Your on the right path just remember to take it easy for awhile don’t push yourself too hard. I never had my hair getting thinner on addy but thought it grew faster. Then again when you stay up for days at a time you sort of lose track of time so who knows if it did or not grow faster than normal. Guess I’m lucky not a lot of baldness on either side of my family tree. Most my friends who are bald now lost it mid 20’s doesn’t seem to bother them much just shaved it. Good luck with quitting stay close to this site I could not have quit without it. 

[Cold Turkey or Taper Down]

I quit twice first time cold turkey failed after one month. The second time tapered down but under three months and been off it now for over 2.5 yrs. I can’t say which is best but only thing that matters is once u decide which day is your last that’s it no safety net toss away your stash, burn your future scripts and burn bridges with your doctor. 

[TWO YEARS :)]

Congrats on your second year glad you doing well! 

[1 month shy of a year off Adderall after using for 17yrs!]

Congrats on one year! If you’ve seen my post and most others we all felt the same way after one year. Although I was self employed keeping afloat I was not bringing in the income at all like I’m now 2 yrs plus past my quit date. If I was working for someone my first year off this stuff probably would have been fired. Stay in the gym watch what you eat and be patient this is a minimum 2yr plus process after that things really do get better. I know that’s not what we want to hear but for us long time abusers it’s the reality of the situation.