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amandaVT

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Everything posted by amandaVT

  1. I can totally relate. After throwing my phone, screaming in front of my daughter and fighting the urge to stab myself I take clonipine steadily and painkillers are in the mix. I quit Adderall but what am I doing!!!
  2. I've been here before, asking the husband to give them back. He didn't give them back because he remembered the years of misery they caused, not because he wanted them for himself. I can't I magazine a relationship like that. I'd be jealous all the time.
  3. Just another way to find a pill that hypes us us up. I used those right before relapsing for a few months.
  4. I was solidly in step 6 maybe starting 7. It gives me hope that I wasn't the worst one out there. How very selfish of me but I quit 5 days ago so I'm still self absorbed. Off to NA I go!
  5. Advice: sleep. Isolate yourself at first, watch TV, call into work, sleep more, don't do anything at all. Just focus on getting rest.
  6. I wish you luck. I've so been there. In the hospital twice trying to kill myself drunk. Drinking at 10 am when I didn't have it. 150 mg a day for god knows how many years. On and off. Relationships lost, people exploited, thousands lost. So I quit four days ago. Have a 5 year old. I know the itch. The decision to get it again and it seems like the only thing that will MAKE ME FEEL BETTER when really I don't want to feel at all. So good for you for wanting to take part in your life. First week of withdrawal is sleeping and wanting to kill anyone who wants you to do anything. I found after 3 days of sleep red bull made me more functional. I'm really a baby myself even though I quit a million times, I started 999,999 times. God luck and welcome back to the human race.
  7. I've started thinking demons are communicating with me. This does go away in my experience. Quitting tomorrow.
  8. I just took my last. I am quitting my job. I'm so scared of how I'm going to feel tomorrow. But I can' truncation on or off of it anymore. It's ruining my family. I can' tog to work. My priority is being sober and everything else is second to that.
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