psychgirl617

This.

Saw this today on "Couples Therapy" on Vh1 about the lead singer of Creed, Scott Stapp, developing an addiction to Adderall and becoming psychotic-- thought I would share. The focus of the story isn't the Adderall addiction but his diagnosis of bipolar disorder. http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/creed-frontman-scott-stapp-prescription-drug-abuse-led/story?id=30996539 More specific article about him relapsing on Adderall: https://www.thefix.com/content/creed-frontman-scott-stapp-back-wagon-after-adderall-induced-psychotic-episodes A good reminder for us all of the consequences of abusing this nasty drug.

I can SO relate to this. So, so much. Like, I've worked harder in the last year to stay off Adderall than on anything else ever, yet the discomfort from being in a body that is not thin is nearly unbearable. However, from my experience in the world and also in eating disorder treatment, I have found that the discomfort is a lot worse on days that I FEEL depressed, anxious and have nothing to show for my self-esteem. It is more bearable to live in my current body on days when I do things that make me feel good-- doing something productive, practicing yoga, dressing in flattering clothes that I feel confident in, making a healthy meal, being of service to others, etc. I don't know if that helps, but I just wanted to identify and offer ideas as to what helps me. I just noticed we both live in Boston! Feel free to PM me if you ever want to meet up. I'm also unemployed and currently struggling with that, so I get it.

I took Vyvanse for several years. It is totally 100% addictive. You can just take 2 pills instead of 1 and you will feel high....so the whole argument about "sustained release" ensuring safety is crap.

I saw this article online and it really resonated with me: http://www.sobernation.com/7-great-reasons-to-get-into-recovery/

@Katers: I actually didnt go to their detox unit. I was put on their short term unit because I was suicidal and had a lot of medical complications as a result of my Adderall addiction. They were fantastic there. They don't have a 28 day residential program that I know of, but they do have a 2 week residential program associated with McLean called Naukeag and I went for a few days but didn't stay as they had no concurrent eating disorder treatment available there.

I went to McLean Hospital near Boston to detox. They were awesome. They worked with me to taper my Adderall dose and after that, I transitioned to a dual-recovery 30 day residential program for eating disorders and addictions in Philadelphia called The Renfrew Center (one of the reasons I got addicted to Adderall was to lose weight as part of an eating disorder). The Renfrew Center was good for my eating disorder, but their addiction program was paltry.

Being authentic to myself by cutting off ties with people (therapist, boyfriend, etc.) that I don't feel a genuine connection with. Exercise- specifically yoga due to its emphasis on meditation, healing, prayer and body awareness AA meetings Snuggling with my cat Staying busy with a structured schedule Giving myself credit for small steps, such as bathing or cooking a meal, going to a meeting, etc. Finding new coping skills: having a cup of tea when stressed instead of popping a pill or having a drink Prayer/meditation

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling, Kev9765. I can relate to the feelings of inadequacy around accomplishing things but the reality is that we have to sit with those feelings and accept the pace that we are getting things done now that we're sober. Because if we go back to the drug, then the pendulum will inevitably have to swing back in the opposite direction, resulting in the "come down", the irritability, the exhaustion, the paranoia, anxiety and depression. While we may be able to accomplish more in the moment while taking Adderall, the consequences of doing so just simply aren't worth it in the long run. I don't know if what I'm saying is helpful, but I just wanted to let you know that I totally understand where you're at, that you're doing a great job with your sobriety (6 months is amazing!) and keep on keeping on because I promise you this feeling WILL pass.

I went into the psychiatric hospital and tapered down slowly. This isn't "standard" procedure for amphetamine withdrawal, but I have a history of an eating disorder and couldn't quit cold turkey due to the insane anxiety of my hunger coming back full force if I went from such a high dose to nothing. Plus, I have had suicidal ideation in the past when I had tried to quit amphetamines cold turkey. In retrospect, it was EXTREMELY difficult to taper because every day I took the pill which activated my reward circuit in my brain and elicited cravings for more Adderall. Yet, I couldn't have more Adderall so I was essentially torturing myself. I would not recommend it but I think everyone's quitting circumstances are different.

New article I saw posted today from the NYT about people in the work force getting addicted to Adderall: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/19/us/workers-seeking-productivity-in-a-pill-are-abusing-adhd-drugs.html?_r=0

Feeling "normal" in early recovery....i.e. doing things like taking my clothes to the dry cleaner, scheduling a hair appointment (and actually showing up!); Being able to tolerate intense irritability/loneliness without pills; Developing some sort of spirituality; Stability! Not so many ups and downs.... My cat My health My support system

I can totally relate to being able to exercise more while taking Adderall....when I was using it, I could run 10+ miles at a time. I actually recently started running again after buying a new pair of running shoes and giving myself a few months to re-gain my strength after rehab. I am proud to say that last week I went on my first run Adderall-free since 2008, and it feels great!!! It's hard to believe while you're still using, but exercising without Adderall IS a possibility, and this is coming from a person who had no hope in the first few months of recovery. I was just dying to start working out again but so frustrated that my body felt so weak and tired. You will definitely be able to exercise again post-Adderall. However, you need several ingredients: 1. Sobriety 2. Time 3. Self-compassion I personally go to AA to help me stay sober and part of the reason is a constant reminder of that idea of "Progress Not Perfection". Easy Does It....Be Gentle With Yourself. If you give yourself rest initially when you get sober, you will find that your body will slowly gain strength and energy again to exercise....and when you do exercise, you will find that you feel so much better about the gains you do make because they are real and not drug-induced. Best of luck to you!!

The best analogy for Adderall that I have come up with is that it is like the kindling wood you use to start a fire. Once I take Adderall, I crave other addictive prescription drugs such as Vicodin, Percocet, Klonopin, Ambien, etc. The Adderall starts that fire and it creates a kindling effect (i.e. craving for more drugs and/or Adderall) that builds the fire bigger and bigger until it's out of control. The only way to put the fire out is to pour water on it, which in my case was actually alcohol-- as many others have mentioned in their posts when they have said that they drank to come down from the Adderall. Now that I've been off of Adderall for several months, I have no desire to abuse opiates, benzo's, or any other controlled-substance....including alcohol. I honestly think the Adderall stimulated my addict brain in such a way as to either want more, more, more Adderall or to get fucked up on more, more, more prescriptions and alcohol. Without that initial activation, I no longer crave those substances. So for me personally, I think Adderall is a gateway drug because it leads me to use all my other drugs of abuse. Without the Adderall, I don't crave or use other substances.

Perhaps you should have an honest conversation with your doctor and explain that you do not want to take the adderall and you feel like it functions more as an anti-depressant for you than anything else. Perhaps he could prescribe something else for your depression/eating disorder? It sounds like your'e using adderall to enable an eating disorder/treat depression. this is really a terrible idea because the adderall will eventually stop working and leave you worse off than where you were before it. i suspect you need to address your eating disorder/depression first. you will feel hungry after qu9tting adderall. you need to learn to see hunger as a healthy thing. as a final note--200mg of adderall is a hgue dose. i'd find a new doctor who recognizes that dose is about 4x the maximum amount most doctor's would prescribe for anyone. the permanent changes to brain chemistry take place at doses that high. anyway, i'm not tryign to scare you, but i'm really worried about you and i'm afraid your doctor is not. i think you could start this process by at least finding a doctor who recognizes that your daily dose is much higher than any snae doctor would ever prescribe and help you get back to a dose that is at least a healthy one....whether that maeans lowering your dose and prescribing you an anti-depressant or some other kind of appetite suppressant (there's at least one weight loss drug that was prescription but is over the counter now. the way it works, i think is kind of disgusting. if you eat fats, it gives you the shitrs or something....i don't know, but there are some appetite suppressants/treatments which are not stimulant you could ask to be prescribed WHILE YOU SOBER UP. but any doctor that prescribes youa dose that high, does not have your well-being in mind. please be good to yourself. much love. @dangerbean & unod1a: Thank you guys so much for the feedback and advice. I am currently in the hospital detoxing and am proud to say that I basically did everything you both suggested. I was honest with my doctor who was prescribing the Adderall/Vyvanse and I got rid of my supply prior to going into the hospital for detox/mental stabilization.....I am now down to 5mg at 9am and 5mg at 1pm. Tomorrow will be my first day Adderall free in almost 6 years. I feel extremely depressed in the sense that I don't feel I have a lot to live for, but I am safe now and my physical health is starting to improve. I also don't feel paranoid and I am not actively psychotic and I am so grateful to have found good treatment. After I stabilize mentally, physically and detox, my plan (if everything goes okay) is to go to a residential eating disorder treatment center that also specializes in Addiction for about 30 days -- or however long my insurance will cover my stay at the residential level. From there, I will step down to the day treatment level and begin the hard work of outpatient work including AA/NA meetings, outpatient therapy, exercise, nutrition, possibly moving to a different part of the city that is less congested and working on daily meditation/spirituality and some form of work for income/structure. I have hope for a different life for myself and am slowly working towards that life one day at a time.

Hi everyone, I recently went into treatment for my Adderall/Vyvanse addiction and it was surprisingly not a detox. As it turns out, I was told that "there is not a detoxification protocol for amphetamines/Adderall" like there is for opiates or benzos-- all the admissions people I spoke with weren't willing to taper the dose down. The reason I requested this is because my Adderall addiction is tied to weight control/eating disorder, so I can't just stop the Adderall....otherwise, I experience feeling hungry again and I can't handle it. I also have felt suicidal in the past when I've run out of Adderall. My addiction is severe....we're talking 200+mg Adderall IR/day or 120-280 mg Vyvanse. Anyway, I guess I have a true dual diagnosis in that sense. I was admitted to an inpatient psychiatric crisis stabilization unit for 12 days-- they tapered my Adderall and helped me feel safe. I was then transferred to a residential substance abuse treatment center that was not equipped to treat eating disorders-- I left after 3 three days. I was wondering for people who have attempted quitting adderall and those who have successfully quit adderall: 1. What form of treatment did you use to help you quit, if any? (Detox, self help meetings like AA/NA, 1:1 therapy, residential treatment, inpatient hospitalization, etc) 2. If you didn't use professional/substance abuse treatment to help you quit Adderall, what helped you quit and stay quit? 3. Were you addicted to Adderall or just dependent on the same daily dose?

Hey Olivia115, I'm so glad you responded to this old thread. I wrote my post months ago and no one responded until you....it gives me hope that I'm not alone and that I, too, can achieve sobriety like you did. I think there are specific struggles that come with being an Adderall/stimulant user as a young professional woman in a city like Boston where everyone is so focused on your education level and status. It's like having a graduate degree is standard and people assume that if you don't work 5 days a week, you have a second job (I can only speak from my own experience). In addition, as others have mentioned in other discussions on this forum, there are issues with getting off of Adderall and gaining weight, which makes me very scared of sobriety and recovery. Most recently I have loved the way I look and my body for the first time in my life. That is the one good thing Adderall gave me, and I know it was at a huge price.....I have a long term boyfriend who is amazingly supportive, but I don't think I could be in a relationship when I feel so shitty about my body...... Anyway, other issues I am dealing with as a young professional woman: maintaining a semblance of a career in an extremely competitive job market, have educated/successful friends that I constantly compare myself to....you get it. Anyway, sorry if I'm rambling. I have been on a much lower dose of Adderall due to being more honest with my prescriber and more motivated for sobriety. I am trying to get into treatment but I have had a lot of difficulties with access to care. Olivia115, I would really enjoy meeting up with you for coffee/tea sometime to hear more about your life and what helped you recover (and stay sober for 1.5 years! That is amazing!). I will PM you about trying to find a meet up time. Hope you're doing okay today.

Hi all, I am also working on recovery from Adderall addiction and in the Boston area. Similar to what another member wrote, I have been attending AA/NA meetings and, while I find them helpful, there are a lot of pieces to their stories that I can't relate to-- i.e. blacking out, being hungover, doing stupid stuff while drunk/high-- that are very specific to the drug of alcohol (or other drugs), but not Adderall necessarily. I understand that the underlying emotions can be similar at times for all individuals in recovery, but I feel that it would be helpful to meet people who are physically experiencing the same symptoms as I am. Everyone I meet in in AA is so happy and reports being more energetic since they've stopped drinking. Meanwhile, here I am feeling depressed as f*ck and so tired that just hearing that other people are feeling better/more energetic in recovery is irritating. Anyway, I'm 25 years old, a young professional in the Allston/Brighton area and would really like to meetup with people and/or start an on-going weekly group so please let me know if you're interested and what your availability is. Thanks!