Im 23 years old and have been dependent and addicted to adderall ever since I tried it my freshman year of college. I found a doctor who wrote me a prescription and have abused it ever since. I graduated last May and have told myself ever since that I wouldn't take adderall anymore because it was just to get through school. I figured I would stop after because I was taking a year off and I wouldn't have to rely on taking it everyday, so I would tell myself its fine you're stopping soon anyways under the most ideal conditions with no work or responsibilities. Its a year later and I take the same amount I was taking in school and I do way less with my day. I always make excuses to not stop taking it because I may need it or I'm never going to finish what I am doing. I feel like I need it just to get out of bed in the morning and enjoy life. I secretly hate it but I cant stop it, even when the thought of taking one makes me nauseous in the morning (because I took so much of it the day before) I cant seem to stop myself because I need them to make my day standable. Everytime I go to flush them down the toilet I always talk myself out of it. I have no idea what career I want to pursue because I feel like the adderall just makes me content with my life as boring as it is in reality. I hate it but I am so scared to be without it because of what I am not going to be able to accomplish. I hate the feeling of having to rely on it, it just makes everything so much better. Come 2 months I am moving to a new city to look for a real job and feel like I cant keep living like this or I wont even be able to hold a real job. I just dont know how to quit it, because what if I do end up needed them. I get hysterical every time I think about it because I actually really want to quit and just be the person 4 years ago who got into college without ever touching adderall. I am really in need of some support, encouragement to quit and some tips! please and thank you so much.