Jump to content
QuittingAdderall.com Forums

Newbury

Members
  • Posts

    5
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

Newbury last won the day on June 16 2014

Newbury had the most liked content!

Newbury's Achievements

Newbie

Newbie (1/4)

13

Reputation

  1. So this isn't as easy as I once thought. I went against my word this weekend and took my prescribed dose to get through my weekend of classes. The mind has an evil way of justifying things when it wants. Today, I woke up and came to the conclusion that adderall actually is causing too many side effects that aren't ok for me and the way I have felt on it doesn't even feel great enough to overlook the negatives, I failed the challenge but I think I had to solidify my reasons for wanting off by feeling it out in the classroom setting again. I'm meeting with a dear friend tonight. I'm giving him the prescription so he can dispose of it as I can't see myself flushing them down the toilet. Also, I am calling my doctor to tell her I no longer need to come into see her as I no longer want the medication. I feel more at peace with my mind and know that I get rid of the temptation I have my solid tested reasons for not taking the medication.
  2. Thanks, Madhatter! Congratulations on your progress to you and everyone! It certainly isn't as easy as it would seem! Day 3 down. Wahoo The mornings are tough but once I get through the AM hours, the rest of the day my cravings subside. I keep telling myself not today, I won't slip back today. What scares me the most though is that my mind thinks about it a lot and I allow myself to contemplate going back to the prescription at a later date. Just not today. Anyone care to share any mantras that help them through? One day at a time, I suppose. And I'm really enjoying my sobriety. Life is really good when your mind isn't in some altered state.
  3. Hi- I've only been off adderall for two days but I've been noticing my skins condition looks downright terrible. I'm trying to drink lots of fluids and healthy veggies to bring back the glow. Did anyone else notice more fine lines and uneven skin tone? Don't even get me started on the acne. Ugh. Anyways just trying to gauge how long it will take for my skin to bounce back.. I'm hoping that it eventually does and I haven't permanently compromised the health of my skin. Thanks.
  4. Hi, I have just started the 30 day challenge and in an effort to not create long lengthy posts on that thread, I decided to create a little journal here for myself to keep motivated. I am not turning back. I'm getting healthy and kicking the bad habit. I miss the old me. The way she looked. The way her mind wandered. The swagger and glow I use to naturally exude. My sense of pride in my accomplishments. The steady flow of thoughts and natural bouts of energy. Feeling tired and realizing I had a long day and it was time to rest. I just felt like a marching analytical zombie on adderall. I felt so capable yet I still couldn't harness all my energy and mental alertness on one important thing. I'm not going to completely bash adderall though. Prior to having the prescription, I really had a hard time with my thought process. I felt so foggy like my mind was not working. But I think that's a normal part of life for some. And to artificially create a sense of focus and alertness is playing with fire. How long are you suppose to take a pill for that propels you out of bed? A whole lifetime? At some point you either have to quit or your life ends with you still medicating yourself. How awful would it be to be still using adderall when your old and gray and on deaths bed? I truly believe adderall has a purpose. I think it's great at clearing and focusing your mind so that you can build the right skill sets to be on par with your peers. For some people it's really easy to get it all done and to rise to the occasion of deadlines and tasks. I have always struggled with those types of things. While on adderall, though, I had that mental clarity that allowed me to go down my to do list and check off the items. I now know how to do that. Adderall isn't needed to get the job done. It was needed to bring my mind in focus so I could see how to operate like the rest of the world. And for that I thank adderall. But like a relationship that isn't serving you well anymore, I have to let it go so I can open myself up to the other positive things waiting for me that aren't going to happen if I stay on the adderall path. I believe in my abilities off adderall. I'm committing to staying off of it for 30 days. At the end I'll reassess how my mind feels but right now this seems like the right thing to do. One day at a time. A place to vent and read about others experiences. I think I have all the right tools to do this!
  5. Hi forum! Last night I was up reading this thread. I found everyone so inspiring especially sweetcarolinee and her positive energy and optimistic outlook. After much deliberation of whether I had the willpower, I have decided to commit to the 30 day challenge. Today is my second day of not popping the pill and I feel good! I was only on a fairly low dose but I am pretty sensitive to medications so it def took a toll on my system. There are a couple of things that I want to remember about why I'm choosing to let the medication go so I'll list them here for future reference when I feel tempted.. Feel free to skip reading as it may be lengthy.. 1. I've gained weight in the most unflattering spots (face, thighs, tummy). I run a lot and I practice Pilates regularly so this weight gain is so shocking to me. I have noticed my eating habits are really weird and I would robotically eat and never feel full. 2. My skin looks terrible. Emerging pimples and dry skin. I worked so hard at clearing my skin up when I was younger and now i really compromised my diligent efforts and all the time I put into fixing it before. 3. I don't feel particularly proud or amazed when I complete something. My heart and mind are going so fast that I can't even appreciate my work anymore. Especially true after a run. I just don't get that endorphins rush of joy at the end. 4. I see other girls and feel envious that they haven't succumbed to this pill. They look relaxed, happy, and just in better condition than me despite my maniac over the top efforts. Maybe more really is less. Looking stressed isn't pretty. 5. It hasn't helped me focus on schoolwork. I just feel more capable and energetic but my readings aren't any more easier and I read even slower because I'm fixated on understanding every sentence. 6. I'm tired of worrying about the side effects and if anyone knows I'm on something. So I want to remember these things along with my triggers. I know in the morning it is hard for me as I usually want to get into the gym and adderall helped my motivation. But I've found the motivation to go to the gym the last two days without adderall's help and I felt so friggin proud of myself when I was done. Like the old me with sweat dripping down my face. I felt like every step I took was bringing me closer to my recovery. I feel like coffee is helping a lot right now. And this website. And looking at people I aspire to be like and realizing adderall is like a stealthy toxin that's polluting my body and not bringing me any closer to what I want to accomplish. I compromised my own hard work that I put into myself before acquiring the prescription. It's time to leave the pills behind and take pride in what I can accomplish through my own accord. Some days will be tough but I am really confident that with summer here and the sun shining, I can get myself on track.
×
×
  • Create New...