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Andreas

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  1. Oh how could I forget! I was working a temp job and was fired because my key card, and computer use showed that I was staying there all night. I stayed all night (playing video games) because I had no computer at 'my place'. I was actually squatting at my ex-gf empty apartment for 4 months (the building was being sold). I had to keep the lights out at night so no one knew I was still living there and when I was bored huddling in the dark alone I would go to my temp job and play video games all night (hopped up on the goof-balls(Adderall)). The only thing this hobo was missing was a trash can fire. It was not the first time I was homeless vagrant/fired from a job and it was not the last time either. Writing it out like this I can definitely see a classic junkie trope evolving. Once again I can't say that Adderall was the primary or even exclusive cause but how could it not be correlated to my Adderall use/abuse. A picture is worth a thousand words and I have some great pictures documenting me off Adderall, on Adderall (when I felt amazing and looked like a tweaked out drug addict, and off adderall post stroke. I have learned that my perceptions of reality had little to do with reality. And I would like to say that every time I see zerokewl's avatar I smile!
  2. Hey InRecovery. High blood pressure is the most important risk factor for stroke (according to the American Heart Association) I had normal blood pressure before taking Adderall (120/78) I had high blood pressure the entire 13 years I was on Adderall peaking at 170/120 just before my stroke 6 months after the stroke I was off Adderall and took no blood pressure meds and I was back to 118/80 I may not be able to prove causation but I certainly can prove a high correlation. It's only during the last 4 months that I have recognized the central role Adderall played in the shitification and of my life and I'm working on my quit story where I will document the 180 degree turn for the better my life took after the stroke. I am amazed and inspired that so many of you have quit/or are trying to quit before you end up in the hospital or the morgue. Keep up the good work. Your lives depend on it.
  3. The Moment I Should Have Realized It (this list could go on forever): When I thought everyone should be taking Adderall and offered them some of mine When I saw 2 doctors to keep me in the 160mg IR/per day lifestyle that I had grown accustomed to When I went to the doctor last year and was 280 lbs with a resting heart rate of 105 and BP 170/120 When I had my first Ischemic Stroke (practice/training stroke) When I had my second Ischemic Stroke When I had a Hypertensive (High BP) Hemorrhagic Stroke (blew a gasket) and nearly died last year (8 days unconscious in the ICU When the first words out of my mouth upon my release from the hospital, "When can I get back on Adderall?" The Moment I Realized that Adderall had Taken Over My Life: The moment I realized that I accomplished more in the year after the stroke without Adderall than I did during 13 years with Adderall.
  4. Definitely cost me a couple of jobs (due to the performance gap between how I was actually performing vs how I felt I was performing (I always felt I was amazing and that they had simply failed to recognize my genius)). I also found the job search extremely challenging when I was on Adderall. I never had this problem BA (before adderall). Between drinking, smoking, gambling, video games, random raging, ruining relationships, watching tv shows/movies, online dating/internet porn (just to name a few of my hobbies) I just couldn't find the time to look for a job (internet porn wasn't going to index itself) and I would often say it would be even worse if I weren't on Adderall. I'm starting to think that this might not be true.
  5. It's such a cliche but eating healthy and exercising make all the difference in the world. I'm glad to see that you have been able to make such important changes in your lives. I've accomplished more in the last year without medication than I have in the last 12 years with it, and people no longer call me a sociopath. It's the little victories.
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