Lucyinthesky

Thank you for your advice and support, I definitely am still working on accepting the superficial sacrifices of living amphetamine-free. But I know it's worth it in the end! one day at a time i guess

Hello everyone I am fairly new to this forum, I've been addicted to my prescription adderall since I was 16 and now I am 22. I was prescribed 30mg and after five years I was taking 120mg a day minimum. Whenever I ran out, which was inevitable, I would buy more from my friends, who all just happened to be prescribed as well. Finally after five years, on July 25, 2014, I quit my adderall, cold turkey. I moved to California in the beginning of August in hopes it would help isolate me and perhaps keep me from returning to my old ways. I havent picked up my prescription since the beginning of July and this is the longest I have gone in five years without picking it up. I've been very proud of myself lately and though the physical dependency seems to have faded I still feel this strong mental dependency. Starting school at a new college and a job working nights at a restaurant, I've been wanting to relapse more than ever. Also I am a bridesmaid in my bestfriends wedding this October and I'm extremely insecure about my weight gain. I went from 117 lbs on adderall (I'm 5'3) to like 135 lbs. I work out every day but I love food too much. Adderall made weight loss easy, I just have this bad feeling I am going to end up relapsing by October. Sorry for rambling, I just would like some advice on how to deal with these thoughts.. also I brought my stash of adderall to california with me as a 'security blanket'.. stupid I know.. but I want to be honest with someone.