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ms.sassy.kara

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ms.sassy.kara last won the day on August 1 2012

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  1. Congratulations! on being 32 (now 33) days clean! A doc also tried to put me on vyvanse but it wasn't affecting me as well as Adderall did, so I didn't like it. Keep up the good work. And great job on being drug free! I would also like to give a shout-out to the guy who made this site. it has helped me so much
  2. Hello . I am on day 25 of quitting Adderall. I am a 24-year-old female. I am officially able to say that quitting Adderall is the hardest thing I've ever done. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 12. Alot of problems in my family were happening and we went to family counseling to figure out how to alleviate the tensions in the household. It was my father, me and my stepmother. She has self-esteem issues and depression - and feels the need to control everyone around her. A psychiatrist diagnosed her with severe depression. But she wouldn't take her medicine, because I was the one with the "problem." So, after some discussion and the counselor/pschiatrist tested me for ADHD, I was diagnosed. They said I had a mild case - I didn't show the classic signs of hyperactivity and inability to focus but I did tend to talk too much. I didn't have trouble in school, on the contrary, I was able to pay attention and pretty much always got A's and B's. But at 12 years old, I was not doing so well in keyboarding class - was just barely getting a C. So, out came the ADHD diagnosis and then the prescription for Adderall. First it was 10 mg in the morning and 5 mg after school. I improved my keyboarding grade, wasn't talking back to my parents, wasn't blurting out in class....all because of this "miracle drug". After about 6 months, we switched my medication from regular Adderall tablets to Adderall XR 15 mg. And then all of a sudden things were better in my life. Fast-forward 6 years, I was 18. Time for college. I felt lost and confused in college and wasn't able to keep a high level of organization. The answer? of course - more Adderall! My dose was upped to 20 mg a day, and then a year later I went to 25 mg. 25 mg of XR was too much. I was hyped up. I had a "high" in the mornings. My dose was lowered to 20 mg daily once again. The only way I was able to figure out the Adderall wasn't the answer was when I was 23 and was out of school. I seemed to have an unnormal amount of energy. I got my first job in a manufacturing plant. I lost it, 7 months later. Then I got another job, moved to another state, and lost that job 3 months later. During that time, I was hostile and aggressive due to the job loss but also because when you aren't working and you are still taking Adderall - well it makes you go a little crazy! All of a sudden you have this high energy level and nothing to do with it all. I declared bankruptcy, moved into my relatives house, and changed careers. I still wasn't happy. I was doing good work. But the happiness element only came in brief flashes. Then I met the love of my life. We moved in together. I continued to take my Adderall XR, although my new insurance at work didn't cover it. Then I got more and more controlling and agressive towards my boyfriend. I began to wish he was taking Adderall like me so he could get as much done in a day as I could. Very unfair assesment, as he has a very physically demanding job that he does 12+ hours a day. Without even recognizing it, I had gotten to the point where my life revolved around that single act of popping my pill in the morning. Waiting the 15 minutes until my brain and body reacted to the blissful reality of the energy boost on my pill! How is this any different than a drug addict???? It's not!! So I quit. After 12 years of being medicated, I've had enough. But it has been really rough. REALLY REALLY ROUGH!! I have been on it for 12 years, and I feel like I don't know who I really am. I don't know myself at all! I have had all the withdrawal symptoms of a meth addict. I feel like crap. My self-esteem has taken a direct hit. I feel very lost, confused, and not confident at all. One day it all came to a head and I was sobbing, saying over and over, "Who am I, who am I?" At day 14, I flushed my medication. Which is a good thing, because if I hadn't, I would definitely have had a relapse. The withdrawal symptoms I was experiencing by day 20 to day 23 were pushing me over the edge. I wanted my Adderall so bad!!! How could this happen? How could the drug companies do this? How could there be 14 million prescriptions for Adderall being filled every year in the U.S.? This drug that screws with your mind! Makes you feel good, gives you a heightened, unrealistic portrayal of energy and will power that you don't truly have. No one needs to have that much. It's unnatural. This drug is only LEGAL in the United States and Canada. Doesn't anyone see anything wrong with that?! During the first week of being off of it, my head felt dizzy. I had light-headedness. I slept 13 hours for two days straight during the first week of being off of it. I try to only sleep 7 hours (which was plenty before..) but somehow I still feel tired. I am trying to exercise daily, as I know this will help. I have wanted to sleep alot. I sleep 8-9 hours and more sometimes. On a positive note, there have been some days where I get alot done at work and alot done at home. But out of the 25 days off of it, I still feel like an addict - wishing I had it. There is hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel. My boyfriend has been really supportive, without him in my life to see what my future could be, I don't know if I would have been able to stop. I would have kept saying, I need it, it's okay. Please if anybody can read and learn from my experiences, just know that Adderall is not the answer to your problems. Maybe going without medication is not an option for you, but please don't get sucked into Ritalin or Adderall or any type of stimulant. They are dangerous and very addictive. Finding this website has been a very bright spot for me in the past couple of weeks. I'm very glad to know I'm not the only person going through all of this!
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