I hate myself

Worried Sister, your post hit me right in the heart because I am going through a similar situation. What it all comes down to is that your sister has to be the one to make the change. There is nothing you can do if she refuses to face her addiction. The TV program INTERVENTION is a good source of information as is Al-Anon. By helping her during these self inflicted crises you are prolonging her misery. It will be hard to not help her, but you must let her know that if she does not agree to treatment or stop her Adderall abuse on her own, you will no longer be available to her. It is tough love and the only thing you can do to help her. Can you get your family to arrange an Intervention? I am struggling myself on a daily basis to finally stop this horrible Adderall addiction. I have quite a few friends who are also taking this drug that I find it extremely hard to completely quit. Sometimes I just want to run away for a few months, get healthy again and get my real self back. What breaks my heart is seeing how it is destroying my younger brothers life. He has completely changed since starting this drug years go. He is constantly on edge, antisocial, and looks like he has aged 20 years in 5 years. He is also in denial and actually thinks he needs the drug to live his life and gets defensive when confronted. I know what you mean about the health problems, this drug destroys your immune system, causes heart damage, and accelerates other chronic diseases. But what it destroys most is the most important thing in he world-- self love and the ability to love others. Good luck and keep in touch, this site is an invaluable source of information.

Thank you Ashley26 and Edie for your advice. It does seem crazy to quit a job in this bad economy. When I am off the Adderall for a while I actually enjoy going to work. The problem is, the periods off the drug are not long enough to see positive changes. I have had social phobia and anxiety most of my life. Mainly manifested with self consciousness, shyness and a lack of self esteem. But because of these meds I feel more like a person going through the motions instead of living a happy, enjoyable life. So, in comes amphetamines, in the guise of diet pills and ADD medicine to the rescue. I actually enjoy my days of cleaning, organizing and keeping busy. It is only after I take a break from the pills that I see how ridiculous my thinking was at he time. I look at my projects, the crap I spent my money on and selfish behavior and see how I am wasting my life. I just have to keep reading these posts and work towards recovery. I have my Craving Control supplements and have started walking. I wish you all the best of luck in your journey in getting off this horrible drug. Thanks again.

I remember years ago in my 20's (when I was abusing alcohol) seeing an advertisement which said: "I drink because I hate myself." That phrase hit me like a ton of bricks because it was so true and is still true now with my new addiction to Adderall. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would get caught on this roller coaster again. I managed to get through my 30's and most of my 40's drug and alcohol free and never imagined I would be so stupid to go down this road again. I am trying to decide if i should do something drastic like quit my part time job which pays very well or fully retire and stop all these stupid drugs and be free once and for all. I have anxiety and social phobia and take meds for those conditions along with Adderall just to get through the day and then crash after work. Right now I would rather have less money than to keep on hating myself more each day. I've tried easing myself off the anxiety drugs and adderall but felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. Needless to say, dealing with a lot of people at work was very difficult. This site is very inspirational - just reading all the success stories gives me hope. I'm not looking forward to the deep depression, crying jags and weight gain, but I think if I don't have to deal with coworkers or the public it might be easier to take my time to heal emotionally and physically. Has anyone here taken a long break from life to heal from this terrible drug?