damnpill33

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About damnpill33

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    Male
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    Michigan
  1. Michigan

    I'd be interested in meeting up I live in Westland (just west of Detroit). 7 weeks addy-free and relapsed 3 days ago its 4:49am and havent slept since. I just suprised myself and flushed the rest of my stash down the toilet but temptation will try to get the better of me soon. A support group is a great idea. Let me know if interested...
  2. Drifting into darkness a lonely place

    Good job Falcon keep it up! Im officially 12 days clean from adderall its been a bitch but it should only get better as long as we constantly stay focused on our endgame. Endgame meaning getting to the point of rebuilding ourselves to what we want to be to acheive the most we can out of life. I think with coming up with a good solid routine is essential which sticking to it is hard as fuck especially at the beginning but with every week it should get easier and easier and when you see results there should be no turning back. Im sure there will be those days even months from now that will be so bad temptation will want to take over but one day at a time we can overcome it. I know this because I had a HEAVY addiction to pain killers before/and during my addiction to adderall but kicked the habit of pain killers over a year ago and now theres no desire to go back to that hell. Just like the pain killers, adderall was turning me into a zombie but a different kind of zombie. Eitherway theres nothing but a dark road ahead with continued use no matter now much those damn pills tempt us. Falcon we'll get thru this keep up the good progress
  3. Cancelled my prescription today

    Good for you man thats the best way to go about it. I drafted a letter for my doc asking him to cancel mine. The letter is stamped and good to go but I havent sent it yet I'm being hesitant about it cuz I know thats the point of no return but I really really need to do it.
  4. this addiction

    check out the song "this addiction" by the Kottonmouth Kings if you get the craving to pop a pill. It hits the nail right on the head Adderall's even mentioned in the song.
  5. My Downward Spiral

    quit-once thank you for your feedback! I'm also starting a daily journal I'm hoping that getting my thoughts in writing will give everything more meaning. Like Im sure with just about everyone here, we started taking it with the best intentions in mind. We feel the daily pressures of life and the stress at work, and we just want to succeed. It just blows my mind that Ive been more than aware for a longtime that the sideeffects are taking over and in no way is it helping me out to become more sucessful or a better person, but yet just can't shake the habit. The burst of energy was always nice, but at night when trying to relax and go to sleep it was just hell. The sideeffects would just multiply the next day and even more the day after due to the sleep deprivation and constant anxiety and paranoia. I wish everyone the best of luck. We all have the ability to get our old selves back and even better ourselves. One day at a time, patience is virtue, and everything worth fighting for needs effort and commitment. Thanks again.
  6. My Downward Spiral

    Ashley thank you for responding back your input/support means alot to me. I can closely relate to many aspects of what your going thru. Before coming to this site I thought I was in this alone and no one suffers the same type of problems I have. I've already read most of the articles/posts on this site I only wish I would of came across this website much sooner. I started reading into PAWS like you suggested I gotta say that what I read was a little discouraging, but its good to know what to expect and understand whats going on. Do you happen to have the link the the PAWS site that you were looking at? I just googled it and I think I just got some basic information. I agree 100% with you knowledge is power the more we know the better the gameplan we can put together to quit since we'll know what should work and what doesn't. Adderall definitely covers any depression I have but makes my anxiety go thru the roof. I really sucks losing self control in even the most basic everyday situations. Like you said I do think it would be easier to quit if I lower my expectations for a while. The part that worries me about it is if dont start down the path of self improvment right away (eat better, more exercise, ect..) I'm worried that it would be easier to fall into addiction again since discipline is essential to all of the above. After putting a lot of thought into it I created a "quitting cheatsheet" tailored just for me and what I think I need to focus on and make part of my routine to beat this addiction. Maybe I'm overthinking everything but I'm hoping that if I I make it a point to review it everyday and compare my daily progress to it it will give me more discipline allowing for a better fighting chance to quit adderall and rebuild my life. I guess thats the engineer in me I tend to overthink and over analyize things. I copied & pasted my "quitting cheatsheat" below I hoping it will be a valuable tool to get thru this. I basically broke it down in 3 categories. "Purpose" is a quick summary to remind myself what my ultimate goal is and it will take alot of work to get there, but that its worth it in the end. "Foundation" which I believe will be the core values/principles I'll need to follow for self-improvment giving me the discipline and motivation to get this adderall monster of my back. "Tips & Guidlines" is just that it's just some basic tips and tools to help make quitting easier. Most Im sure would think I'm crazy for putting something like this together but I can thank adderall for making me do it lol. Please let me know what you think I'd really like to hear any input or advice you may have. Anyone else reading this, your thoughts are also much appreciated. Thanks again, Brandon MY ADDERALL QUITTING CHEATSHEET PURPOSE-> My objective is to permanently quit adderall with self-improvement. One day at a time. There will be rough days but it only gets better. Imprint in brain that anything that’s worth something requires upfront work/discipline. I’ll man up and maintain constant focus on doing whatever it takes to be my best self. Long-term gratitude pays out in dividends over instant gratitude. My life depends on this. This is my time to shine. FOUNDATION to be my ideal self. My daily routine and constant focus is centered on mind and body improvement. Daily exercise is CRITICAL. Mindset must always be to push myself physically and always strive for improvement. *CORE/Compound exercises = greatest results* Daily Routine for supplements/vitamins. Nutrition is key. Plan for natural foods not processed. Floss teeth on regular basis the benefits stretch way beyond the teeth. Push myself mentally to improve focus naturally. Read RAPT and anything else to strengthen my mind and channel my ability for greater focus, self control, and overall success. TIPS & GUIDELINES Organize and prepare everything efficiently/effectively to ensure daily routine success. Every day must take Multi-Vitamin, Omega3, L-Tyrosine 3-4x/day, and if needed magnesium, zinc, iron. Moving forward EVERY thought I have about adderall needs to be negative. Its fact that the severe side-effects I deal with FAR EXCEED the benefits. Stay involved with forums and read related articles. Balanced diet including high protein intake, lots of water, no fatty food and avoid bad carbs. More natural foods = More natural energy Coffee for energy and motivation. Reflect on past success and accomplishments before taking adderall.
  7. My Downward Spiral

    Thank you Ashley for your support. I've been keeping everything bottled up for so long now it does feel good to open up about it to someone that understands what its like. How long did it take you to start feeling like your old self after you quit? What do you think has helped out the most with overcoming addiction? I'm thinking of starting a daily journal Im hoping that putting my thoughts in writing will give my thoughts more meaning and power.
  8. My Downward Spiral

    Hi, I'm new here looking for some help/support with my adderall addiction. Something that started out so great then riddled out of control. The side effects far outweight the benefits and I realize this but can't stop my habit. Over 3 years have gone by since I started I have 2 prescriptions for it (different doctors) and I take a months supply in a week so half the month Im tweaked out and the other half withdrawing/craving. This has been my routine now for a couple years. I just cant shake it. It's effected every aspect of my life. Everything I used to enjoy in life now just isn't fun anymore. My personality now is non-existent I'm not the same person. Now I struggle to even socialize on a basic level. My thought process becomes skewed, anxiety kicks in crippling my speech and basic motor functions. Over the last couple years I've lost contact with most of my friends. Before my addiction I would go out couple times a week now I rarely go out. My career has taken a turn for the worst I've been unemployed now for 2 weeks. The first week I slept 14 hours a day because I was out of adderall and had no desire to do anything. Couple days ago I was able to get a refill and now bottles already half gone. I tweak out to where I stay busy with stupid stuff but everything about me is dysfunctional on so many levels. I've tried quitting more times than I can count. I would come up with a gameplan (lots of research involved) to quit but just can't hold to it. I'm now at the crossroads. Change has to happen now or my life and everything I worked for is screwed. Anyways, I wanted to introduce myself and my problem. Reading others articles/stories on this site has been somewhat comforting to me at least I know I'm not in this alone.