Dustin

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About Dustin

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  1. Life is..... dull

    Has anyone else realized that life is incredibly boring without adderall. Nothing is interesting, exciting, or nearly as fun. I hardly see the point of going to work or even getting out of bed. Why work if I'm most content laying in bed with the lights off? I see no reason to do anything other than eat and lay in bed. My prescription can be refilled on Monday, whats the point of fighting it when life is nothing other than dull when sober?
  2. Cancelled my prescription today

    First, congratulations. Second, I've always been interested in what the aftermath is for telling your doctor you don't want any more adderall. I would expect that most doctor's would be suspicous if all of a sudden you said "No, stop, I no longer want you to prescribe me adderall," especially if you are like me and ask for more of it every month and are constantly finding ways to get a faster script refill. My main concern is that the doctor could in some way "blacklist" you or set some kind of red flag for future visits or even other doctors. If I tell my doctor to stop prescribing, does that mean it's gone forever?
  3. Gradually reducing dose with XR

    From what I've read, the problem is that there are two different sizes of adderall xr beads within the capsule. One is a more quickly released bead (probably the smaller ones), and the other bead has an extra layer of coating, which disolves in about 4 hours, at which point the ampetamines are released into your system. Since there are two different sizes of beads, in order to divide a pill in "half", you'd have to split the pill in half perfectly, with each half having half of the large beads and half of the small beads. Unless you have some precision tools, a microscope, and are already super lit on adderall there is no way you (or even a scientist probably) could split the beads up proportionally. You'd end up with more instant beads in one half or vice versa. This would cause irradic responses to the medication, something you don't want if you are trying to taper.
  4. Heading to rehab in the am

    Edie, how do you feel about your decision to go to rehab? I'm very interested to know if you think it was worth it, and if you think it will be effective. I'm getting to the point where I think rehab might be the only way out and want to hear about your experience.
  5. Withdrawal and Overdose Side Effects

    The mental/psychological effects you mentioned sound very common (depression, social anxiety, etc.). As far as the tremors, shaking, stomach cramping and sleeping for 1-2 days at a time... I've experienced those but only after very extreme binges. I spent three days in bed one time after a binge, and two days after that I sat at my desk at work shaking covered in sweat. If you are experiencing these, I think you are probably doing some extreme damage. I think I'd keep an eye on your blood pressure and heart rate when using the amounts of adderall it would take to cause these withdrawal symptoms..
  6. New Job-Tempted to take again

    Sorry, this isn't very helpful, but reading the posts here remind me of a similar experience. One time, during a final exam in Statistics I actually chewed on the side of my tongue and cheek the entire time without noticing it. It was so bad that when I walked up to hand my paper in, I had blood on my lips and couldn't speak from the swelling. I think I got a 58% on the exam.
  7. To flush or not to flush?

    Sorry, I shouldn't have said I know exactly how you feel. I meant, I am familiar with the fear of not being able to succeed in work, school, etc. without adderall.
  8. To flush or not to flush?

    Mrs79 is right. You'll find more reasons to take adderall after graduation. I graduated with my degree last May. I also told myself that as soon as I graduated, I was done. Then I graduated. Then my next appointment came. I took the script, cashed it, and did what is so easy to do when using: I found more responsibilities and tasks to fill my time. I took on larger projects at work, tripled my efforts towards professional development (certifications primarily) in my free time, etc. You'll always have reasons to continue using, good or bad. When you mentioned "If I just had two weeks to take off"... I know exactly, exactly how you feel. I'm scared too.
  9. The following supplements taken daily have helped me: L-Tyrosine L-Theanine Magnesium Multivitamins Fish Oil St. John's Wort Calcium Iron Zinc Vitamin D For an extra kick when you really need it: Psuedo (Claritan D, sudafed, etc.) DL-Phenylalanine (DLPA) Phentlethylamine 1,3 dimethylamylamine DOPA MUCA with L-DOPA
  10. Last Day

    Today is my last day on adderall. I've been using adderall for a little over four years. During this past four year period I got married (to the person I was dating for four years before the adderall began), graduated college, and started my professional career. I've built my life around adderall. My friends, my job, my hobbies, all based on who I am when I'm high. My life is adderall. I've spent years perfecting how to use adderall. I take over 20 different supplements to boost adderall's effectiveness each day, I consume a diet that allows for a balanced pH level, and I schedule plans and projects around binges. I do not know how to live without adderall. As my tolerance and abuse grow exponetially, I am watching my relationships, abilities, interests, and even my emotions fade into nothing. I no longer feel happiness, I don't laugh, I'm numb except for the depression that I'm left with after the come down. I'm emotionally unstable, and fall apart under pressure, causing me to make professional and personal decisions on a whim. I spend hours doing nothing, absolutely nothing. Some nights I have to take adderall just so I can calm down enough to sleep. I cannot have normal conversations and cannot stand to be touched by other people, even family members. I've spent the last two weeks in an adderall fueled frenzy, handfuls of pills a day. I want nothing more than to stop. Today is my last day on adderall.