jennablu

So is bullying ~ but that isn't stoping you! I thought this was a 'support' board?!?!?

You know what I think is interesting ~ pretty much EVERY PERSON on this board has mentioned that they were afraid of their sense of humor not coming back ~ just thought that was interesting! I guess we are all funny Sky, love your video 1989 ~ ha ;-) I thought I was the only one that will be talking to someone then just bust into song (random songs that nobody has ever heard)

I hear you ~ I felt that way too 'I'll never be funny without add, i'll never be creative, I'll never be charming, I can't do my job, people won't like me, nobody will want to date me' etc. etc. My biggest fear was that I wouldn't be funny or creative again - ever. I read somewhere to just keep moving and eventually feeling would come back! That is what I did at first ~ just moved ~ then that turned into moving with intent ~ then intent turned into more work and meaningful relationships! It is hard sometimes when we compare what we did when we were 'good' on add to our new 'normal' selfs - but think about what we did when we were 'bad' on add ~ I know I did some shitty things! I really do think everything gets back to normal - and maybe even better then when you were on adds. I feel like I am more of a whole person now, someone capable of real relationships! I knew I just had to let it go - i knew that I would be a different person off of add then on add ~ and I'm actually finding out I like the person I am becoming! Crazy huh! I wish you luck in your journey!! Jenna

Hey Nosleep, I didn't take the Sam e until my third week of quitting, so not sure if it helped with the withdraw. After trying to quit at least 4 times I learned that NOTHING was going to make me feel like adds. Unfortunately I think withdrawal is just something you have to go through. I think you have to feel the worst low to appreciate what a 'normal' feeling is like - does that make sense. A lot of recovering from adderal is re-leanring what it is like to feel 'normal'. It took me 4 tries before I got past the 3 week period ~ now i'm in my 5th week and I know I will never take it again because I never want to feel the low of quitting again. My depression had gotten pretty bad around week 3 which is why I took the sam e ~ it helped at first but the headache was brutal. I have heard really good things about it though - I read that it is a prescription drug in other countries - I just think it is tricky to get the dose right. Good luck!!

Goodness, I don't think I could have hung with either of you during your party days :-) Falcon, I spent a ridicules amount of money on add too! I have a daughter and struggle with some guilt over my 'addy' days! Just hang in there Falcon! When I feel overwhelmed I always try to look at what I have accomplished ~ and you have accomplished something HUGE ~by quitting! Aren't you like 5 or 6 weeks out?!? That is amazing! When you feel down think about that! I'm lucky and so grateful that I have an amazing 'friend' that I can talk to about all this and he has been very supportive and helped me with this journey ~ but it has not always been easy ~ that is for sure! I think the Sam E was the culprit! It made me feel much better for the first 3 or 4 days but the headaches and lack of sleep just were not worth it! Hopefully you boys will have better luck. I cut out the Sam-E about 4 days ago and this morning I woke up headache free for the first time in about a week! Feels good - headaches are brutal! I did my rounds at the Dr.'s office yesterday and I think they took samples of every liquid in my body (blood, urine, tears etc.) ~ If everything comes back 'normal', I am just going to blame it on the Sam -E! Glad your doing so well Sky!! And yes, always take your vitamins with a ton of water!!! Staying in theme ~ here is my Beatles song that has even less relevance then sky's! Ha ha

I lowered the Sam E and - I think it was that! Sorry about the depression - it sucks! I have been coming out of my funk slowly! Hang in there - good things will happen! Slept not much better last night!! No headache today! Feel better!

Thanks Falcon, how are you doing?? Oh I know the dr. will just send me off with xanex - Believe it or not, I could take or leave anything other then addy's! And I sure as heck do not plan on getting hooked on something else. I'm a bit nervous because I have been getting really bad headaches too - so I just want to see what they say. I think you are right on the naps! It is just so hard to cut them out and I work from home - so the bed calls to me!! I am trying different teas! I need to find a way to slow down my mind that just decides to start racing through everything at 2 AM! Thanks for the song too! I have been taking Sam-E and it makes me feel great during the day - but I'm wondering if that is the culprit?!?!? Any experience with that?

I know everyone is fatigued so it sounds crazy to not be able to sleep but I'm really struggling with this! For the first 2 - 3 weeks I could fall asleep while walking! Now - I still get really tired and can nap - but only for like an hour and I pop up! I fall asleep quickly but wake up EVERY night around 2 AM and sometimes never fall back to sleep?!?!? Plus I have a major headache, which can be lack of sleep - I don't know! I'm just a bundle of fun - huh :-) I am going to the DR. Monday and overall I have felt pretty good! You know it isn't all rainbows but at least I am moving forward! Working-out again, engaging with friends again, feeling stuff again (other then sadness), working again - just not sleeping! Thanks for any help :-) Jenna

Hey beautiful Disaster, I was like you about 6 months ago. I would quit ~ then start again ~ then quit. It took me a long time to realize how it was negatively effecting my life. I truly and honestly did not think I had a problem even though I was taking double to triple my dose! It sounds so cliche ~ but admitting, to myself, that I had a problem was the first step! I was scared to death about telling my mom ~ but I could not have done this without her. She was disappointed but so supportive! You will get to the point where there is more bad then good. For me, I had to quit cold turkey! Sober I would tell myself 'I'll just take my dose, 40 mg etc.' then next thing you know I had taken my whole bottle in less then a week. Hang in there!

Sorry Falcon! It does suck - people who have never suffered from 'true' depression, which can seep up from anywhere at any time, really have no idea! I really have nothing to say that will help except I have been there - and it does fade a bit! Yes get out of the house - run - that helps me with my anger (and might save the TV ;-) When I'm down that low - I just make myself walk or run and sweat till it hurts a little less!! Hang in there!! Let us know how you do!

I had luck with Lexapro pre-add's. It was mostly for anxiety and I stopped taking it about 6 years ago - but it worked. I started taking Sam-E and L-Tyrosine per advise on this board about a week ago and I have already seen really good results. Good luck!

Ha ha Ashley, I had to read it 3 times before I replied! You can tell by my long reply response that I needed a nap afterwards ;-) At least my sense of humor is coming back - slowly! 5 days ago I wouldn't have gotten that you were joking - so sad! Thanks to everyone for the support - is it time for another nap yet??

Ashley, that is it exactly! I don't retain anything! I guess I have to be patient! ERRR

PS Chelle, is there anyone who can help with your kids?? Grandma (my mom) stayed with me a whole week and pretty much took care of the whole house - I would not have been able to do it with out her!

Hey chelle, Ya, I gained 25 lb's already ~ but I did need to gain some weight. I had wasted away to a size 2 and I am not someone who should be a size 2 - i'm 5'6 ish. I feel better now - just don't want to gain anymore then another 5 or so. PLUS you get to go shopping. Ihear you - I could barley get out of bed at 1:30 to go get my baby from school the first week. The L-thysoine helps a ton!! Just got some Sam-e today, I have good hopes for it ~ we will see! tommrow is a month for me too!!

Thanks Falcon, Honestly, this forum has helped me a ton! I seriously thought I was loosing my mind last week but read some of the threads and pulled it together! I know I can't start again - I'm committed, crazy, but committed ;-)

Thanks guys! I always struggled with reading (prob. real ADHD) like getting tired soon after I started, or not retaining things but I did make it thru school ~ hee hee ;-) I just can't read anything that is more then a quick paragraph. I get overwhelmed and super stressed and find myself popping up and wandering around. Falcon ~ I was taking A LOT towards the end. probably at least 100mg a day (if not more). On it for 4 sold years - by year 2 taking 2 prescriptions and by year 3 buying from people plus taking my two prescriptions and it still wasn't enough. Off almost a month.

You know ~ like get through a whole paragraph of a book etc.??? UGH, one of the things I loved about add was my ability to breeze through editing books etc. (I'm a photographer). Now I can barley read one tutorial and nothing really makes much sense or sticks. I'm scared that I may never be able to produce good work again :-( (yes, I am a bit dramatic - but this is my biggest fear)!!

Hey Falcon, I had major major depression at first ~ last week was the worse (so far)! The suicidal thoughts were very common and scary! This week is better (I can actually browse this forum ;-). What scares me the most is that I have never made it past a month but I HAVE TO this time!! Thanks and good luck to you!! Jenna

Hey Chelle, I can relate to your story! I started taking this as a mom as well. For me, the first two weeks were the worse (I'm on my 3rd try in 3 months). I'm almost to a month and the suicidal thoughts have finally drifted away! What has helped me is celebrating the things I get done (no matter how small) instead of the things I don't! Like 'I made it all day without napping' OR I cleaned the kitchen for the first time off adderall and it SUCKED ASS but I got it done!! Hang in there!

Thanks Sky!

Hey guys, I have browsed here for a bit now and am happy to say I am 3 weeks off add's! I NEVER, EVER, EVER thought that quitting would be so stiken hard! After hitting 30 with no addictions other then caffeine, I pretty much thought I had made it ~ ya know :-) Unfortunately (and ironically) I was prescribed add's on my 30th b-day and instantly feel madly in-love with aderall! This forum has helped me a ton! I just wanted to introduce myself because I'm sure you all will be hearing from me a lot more :-) Jenna!!

Hey guys, just want to say thank you for this thread! I'm 3 weeks out, and your advise has helped me a ton! THANKS!!